I agree. A normal and stable person does not sit outside of a married couple's home waiting and waiting and waiting. It's seriously psychotic and is stalking. Which is a criminal offense. Not to mention he had the FREAKING NERVE to put all that stuff in your mailbox. A federal offense. He needs his a$4 kicked. I'm not advocating violence but he needs a eal wake up call. Be careful, CB. This guy isn't working with a full deck.
Re: your wife, it's insane to me that she seems to just be waching this all go down and being sort of quiet about it. A real woman would tell him, "Hey --you can't come to my house and be waiting around my property and lingering around and stuffing my mailbox with stuff. I am married. You need to respect that. I dont want to be with you. I made a very poor decision in getting involved with you again and I've decided I want my marriage. The time has come for you to go back home. If you really care about me/love me, you would respect what I am saying and back off. There is nothing for you here."
And then she'd tell your SIL and bro to please stop getting involved with your marriage.
Your wife isn't acting right, IMO. Something is off.
And that guy sounds like a volcano waiting to erupt.
BE careful!
I guess I read where she has done this by calling the police on the OM and with her confrontatio with the SIL.
Not sure what else she should be doing. Her going to seek out the OM is not a good idea. Her talking to him when he comes to the door is not a good idea without police presence. he could force the door open, and hurt her, rape her or kidnap her.
The OM is like a child. Negative attention is still attention.
The chance of moving is great but needs to be very well thought, there's many things involved with moving.
POSOM is a bigger concern than my brother/SIL, as he is more likely to keep up this crap and become stalking us or who knows what else, it concerns me alot he left his job and has been so far away from his basement already for this many days. Brother/SIL I think they will very likely sooner or later give up, the fact my brother yesterday didn't said a word speaks volumes to me, all his life when he was done with something you wouldn't hear a word from him about the subject anymore, SIL is also the type that will pursue something until the end but if things don't go her way throws a tantrum and she is done, they will receive the no contact letter probably tomorrow and there's a police report on SIL any other attempts to contact me or my wife we will go straight to the court house and seek an RO.
Wife confronted brother/SIL yesterday and confronted the POSOM on monday when she called the cops on him, I confirmed it with the cops and also have it on VAR.
The issue gonna be next week, I go back to work on monday, wife will be home alone all day (well with the kids but you get the point) I have all the spy stuff up and also contacted the PI, as I'm sure you can imagine I will not hold her hostage at home or forbid her to take our daughter to the ballet etc etc so I'm doing my part, trusting her, verifying but ultimately it's up to her to do the right thing or not, until now she has done everything I asked her and I have reasons to believe she is sincere but only the week ahead and time will tell me if she really means business, if she does we keep working on it if she doesn't I know what to do.
Yes, she has asked for my forgiveness many times, showed herself remorseful, took responsibility for it all including when she was confronted by my in laws and has not blame me for it, until now she has put all the blame on herself.
Yes, she has asked for my forgiveness many times, showed herself remorseful, took responsibility for it all including when she was confronted by my in laws and has not blame me for it, until now she has put all the blame on herself.
The chance of moving is great but needs to be very well thought, there's many things involved with moving.
If you like the idea of moving then below is what you should do.
1) Move right now. That means rent a new place this weekend. Do not tell anyone where you are moving too. That means no one. This will give you time to fix your marriage without outside interference.
2) You need to stop worrying about the OM and start working on you M. Your wife has been doing all the right things at all the key moments. It is now your turn. Plan the honeymoon for as soon as possible. Let your wife pick where she wants to go and what she wants to do. Take her on dates where you are not allowed to talk about the OM, your kids, or any other issues. Just have fun. Be kids together again. Maybe even see a chick flick with her.
3) You need to become a couple. You did not have a good start to your M because you were never a couple, you were a family with kids right from the start. No honeymoon? No taking her out to dinner in the last 6 years? And you wonder why you have issues in your M? Kids stress all marriages but most couples have good couple memories to fall back on. You need to build fun couple memories with her. Tell her you are sorry for this and that you are committed to making changes to correct this.
The chance of moving is great but needs to be very well thought, there's many things involved with moving.
POSOM is a bigger concern than my brother/SIL, as he is more likely to keep up this crap and become stalking us or who knows what else, it concerns me alot he left his job and has been so far away from his basement already for this many days. Brother/SIL I think they will very likely sooner or later give up, the fact my brother yesterday didn't said a word speaks volumes to me, all his life when he was done with something you wouldn't hear a word from him about the subject anymore, SIL is also the type that will pursue something until the end but if things don't go her way throws a tantrum and she is done, they will receive the no contact letter probably tomorrow and there's a police report on SIL any other attempts to contact me or my wife we will go straight to the court house and seek an RO.
Wife confronted brother/SIL yesterday and confronted the POSOM on monday when she called the cops on him, I confirmed it with the cops and also have it on VAR.
The issue gonna be next week, I go back to work on monday, wife will be home alone all day (well with the kids but you get the point) I have all the spy stuff up and also contacted the PI, as I'm sure you can imagine I will not hold her hostage at home or forbid her to take our daughter to the ballet etc etc so I'm doing my part, trusting her, verifying but ultimately it's up to her to do the right thing or not, until now she has done everything I asked her and I have reasons to believe she is sincere but only the week ahead and time will tell me if she really means business, if she does we keep working on it if she doesn't I know what to do.
I understand you not wanting to hold your wife "hostage" but there is not one chance in he!! I would leave my wife alone with the nuts you have described that are running around loose and are after your wife.
With what they have done so far anything is possible. Your number one responsibility to your family is to keep them safe. And make no mistake, you and your family are in danger. You are dealing with at least 2 mentally unstable people who have become psycho.
Your second responsibility to your family is to provide for them. You have all ready shown you have been putting your job ahead of your family your whole marriage and this is why you are in the position you're in now. It is time now to do the right thing before something you can't fix happens. There will always be jobs but your family needs you now and a job is a very distant second.
Thanks Guys for the advice and wake up call!!! Wife, the kids and I had a great time this afternoon, MIL came along with us so she can look after the kids, they will stay with MIL's relative in the house's first floor while wife and I will have the second floor just for ourselves. Wife and I started reading His Needs Her Needs, we also finished the questionaries I had printed out, wow what an wake up call!!! I have drop the ball so many times over the years!!! Some of the things I could have done and didn't are quite frankly too embarrassing, I do have work to do on myself!!!
After giving it some thought I decided that on sunday night instead of going back home, I will keep wife and the kids here, as many of you have pointed out it's not safe leave them alone at home at this point. I will go into town to take care of a few issues like go to bank, take more time from work, etc etc and then I will go from there. I'm thinking I may take the wife on that honeymoon while the in laws already offer to look after the kids. I don't know how far the POSOM will go but as of right now this may be the best option.
I think you and your wife should start a hobby togther, it will bring you closer.
I suggest joining a gun club, taget shooting is something the both of you could enjoy.
Or maybe join a gym and the both of you can take MMA classes of a self defense class.
I think learning how to shoot different guns at the gun club would be fun! Just saying.
I think you and your wife should start a hobby togther, it will bring you closer.
I suggest joining a gun club, taget shooting is something the both of you could enjoy.
Or maybe join a gym and the both of you can take MMA classes of a self defense class.
I think learning how to shoot different guns at the gun club would be fun! Just saying.
Not a bad idea at all!!! I belonged to a gun club back in the day and you have idea how much I'm missing a gun this days lol
One more thing, maybe your big dog needs another big dog to play with and chase "things" LOL
Yup, as mean and horrible it may sound I did thought about my dog chase a particular "thing" yesterday and only then call the police, it did cross my mind.
When I met my wife she had issue with a certain group of guys that liked motor cycles. Its a nice peace of mind when the dog is chained up in the front yard and the gun is in a safe place.
Me and my WW would practice unlocking it as quick as we could...that was date night back in the day.LOL
All seriousness its all about peace of mind and what we needed to do. so many years ago. Bottom line is, the 911 is the best option #1, but its nice to have a safe and secure option #2.
And in your case its nice to have options...at least for a little while. At least until the "bunny burner" goes away.
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Re: Wife, wants the love of her life....WTF 
