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Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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Old 10-12-2011, 12:16 PM   #556 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife, wants the love of her life....WTF

Quote:
Originally Posted by PHTlump View Post
IANAL, but there are legal issues concerning conditional gifts. And I would consider an engagement ring a conditional gift.
And so would Roy Williams.
Cowboys' Roy Williams files lawsuit to get engagement ring back - NFL - Sporting News
Would a ring be a conditional gift for an engagement to an already legally married woman? How can you be engaged to a woman thats already married and living with her husband? And the proposal was not accepted. The case cited doesnt have any bearing on this one.

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Originally Posted by PHTlump View Post
Anguish would be a separate issue. If someone causes you anguish, you are not entitled to steal from them. If keeping a conditional gift is not legal, then you would need to return the gift and sue OM separately for anguish. However, I'm not sure either case is winnable. Attempting to break up a marriage hasn't been prosecuted in this country for a very long time.
I'm talking about the stalking and harassment that the OM has done that is causing the mental anguish to the wife, husband, and children.
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Old 10-12-2011, 01:15 PM   #557 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife, wants the love of her life....WTF

Keep things simple...

First, ask POS to prove that he left the ring there.

Second, after proof is provided, maintain that it's a gift. It'll be up to him to prove otherwise. It'll be easy to knock down any of his assertions.

Last edited by aug; 10-12-2011 at 01:19 PM.
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Old 10-12-2011, 01:20 PM   #558 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife, wants the love of her life....WTF

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As far as the POSOM goes I sent the server processor to serve him at his home address as well, as my lawyer suggested, POS was not there and the cease and the desist was given to his parents. It is not clear to me if he returned home or not. After this my lawyer received a BS call from a lawyer who claims to be their "family lawyer" meaning POSOM's parents are paying for it, who says POSOM wants to make a "deal" basically that POS meets with my wife in my lawyer's office so they can "talk" and after this POS will leave us alone. Lawyer claims that "his client" only wants to speak with his "friend" and that I through brainwashing I'm preventing this and with a "talk" this could all be "solved". The lawyer also claimed a bunch of BS to justify all the insane behavior POS has engaged into and that I'm the one preventing my wife to talk to him, even when she called the police on POS it was my "fault".

Lawyer also wants the ring back that he claims is a "family heirloom" if not they will sue us for it!!! Tomorrow I have an appointment with the new lawyer and will see how we will respond to all this BS!!!!

I will certain not agree to any meeting between POSOM and my wife and as far as the ring goes I don't want give them anything!!!!
Are you even sure the "family lawyer" is LEGIT? Most lawyers will respond in writing to this BS. Sure, a call can be made but they generally follow up with a letter of representation and outline what their client wants.

For all you know, the "family lawyer" is not even real. It coul be POSOM.

I have never heard of a lawyer saying the clients should meet up to talk and discuss things after a "cease and desist" order is handed out. That would violate the entire order. DUH.

If you've ordered that idiot to stay away from you, then why the F would it be ok to meet with your wife/you/family??? It goes against the entire point of a Cease & Desist.

I would file a restaraining order against this fool too and let the courts handle it. You don't have to respond to anything this jacka$$ says. Just let a judge handle it.

AND DEFINITELY let your postmaster/postal service people know what's going on. It IS a federal offense (the stupid things he's done with your mail/mailbox).

What is your wife saying??

Your wife must feel such shame and guilt for bringing this circus into your life. Totally ridiculous. All of this unnecessary bullsh-t has been brought on because of her.

Grrr.
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Old 10-12-2011, 03:29 PM   #559 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife, wants the love of her life....WTF

Be careful about getting into a lawsuit with POSOM. There is an old saying: never wrestle with a pig, because you will both get muddy and the pig will like it.

In a lawsuit, you would have continued contact with this D-bag and he would have the right to be present during depositions and court hearings...most of all you want this guy out of your life and a lawsuit will just draw all that out and continue his emotions toward W and you...and to be sure, lawsuits stir up emotions...

you might consider whatever further steps there are to preserve the no contact order for as long as possible so all he gets is silence from you and W...if you need to remove his excuse by returning the ring, so be it...and besides, as long as you have the ring the drama will continue...maybe it will anyway...who knows....
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Old 10-12-2011, 03:35 PM   #560 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife, wants the love of her life....WTF

wouldn't hurt to distract him with a postal investigation and prosecution.
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Old 10-12-2011, 03:55 PM   #561 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife, wants the love of her life....WTF

Thanks everyone for your insight and advice.

I had the meeting with the new lawyer today. POSOM's lawyer is real, he is someone who has worked for the family for many years and has mostly worked in the area of business law.

We will be sending an affidavit answering each statement he made on the phone to my other lawyer, for legal reasons it is important do this in a written format in case we may end up having to go to court.

My lawyer also called their lawyer, I got the impression that neither POSOM or his parents told their lawyer all the facts, my lawyer kept it simple, they will receive the affidavit and my wife under any circumstances will meet with POS. The bottom line is that whatever POS might want to believe my wife does not want to see him, talk to him, to be with him etc... and any future attempts to do so or violations of the cease and desist we will immediately ask what's called an emergency RO.

As far as the ring goes, my lawyer did not confirm or deny that I have it. Their lawyer claims, POS "mother has documentation that proves the ring is family property", that my wife while dating POS "saw that ring many times", the ring is suppose to be for a "future DIL" etc etc.

My lawyer says that if I want to keep the ring they will very likely file a lawsuit, if that happens no matter the outcome that btw can go both ways as lawyer says we both have grounds to want to keep the ring, either way this will be dragged through the courts and I may end up spending more money than the ring is worth. He advice me that we offered them a deal, we will give them the ring back but documentation will be prepared that the ring not only was given back but also that POS did in fact left the ring and the rest of the trash on my mailbox, POS must sign this. Lawyer said that depending how crazy and stalker POS is, he may do what many stalkers do that is basically as long as there is a court case going on he "feels he is having some connection with the person he is stalking" once wife will be there/he will be there etc etc. I need to give this some thought and see what I will do.

I also had already reported it to the USPS about the letters, not about the ring, money or cell phone as I needed to keep this as evidence, the letters I just took copies of it. My lawyer told me today that once their investigation is done POS will most likely have to pay a fee.

My wife is not doing well this past days over all this, she is embarrassed, feels very guilty about it, doesn't understand his behavior and is very concerned.

We will be sending the affidavit in the days ahead and as far as the ring goes I will need to give all this some thought.
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Old 10-12-2011, 04:07 PM   #562 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife, wants the love of her life....WTF

do you really want his grandma's ring? Yeah its worth money, you could sell it... but your selling away her memories, and a families heirloom. yeah this dude is a bag of nuts, he deserves to have it sold off to the wind.. But, I dunno the story behind that thing... I don't want to be linked to that story, and just assume have it gone.

If this douche bought the ring, f*ck him, keep it. lesson learned. but this ring comes with history (yeah, I buy karma, energy, souls, good and evil, the whole thing)

anyway...

you want this a$$wipe to learn his lesson obviously... but I would just assume he take his sh*t and get the f*ck out of my face and my life.
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Old 10-12-2011, 04:09 PM   #563 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife, wants the love of her life....WTF

If you give the ring back, place some conditions on it. For example,

- they indemnify you for your damages (legal fees, costs, etc)
- ask them for a security on their house(?) to indemnify future legal costs (due to their enabling their crazy son)
- the son acknowledges it was a gift or abandoned by him


You didnt go into their house to take the ring. If the ring went missing, the problem is between the son and his parent.
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Old 10-12-2011, 04:24 PM   #564 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife, wants the love of her life....WTF

He is just basically throwing a tantrum and creating drama. I agree he embrace the legal entanglement because it bonds him to you guys and he is looking for any connection he can have. He is getting attention. Good or bad he does not care right now.

I susprect too that being in a legal situation if you move all parties must know about it. Not sure.

Last edited by Entropy3000; 10-12-2011 at 04:32 PM.
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Old 10-12-2011, 04:50 PM   #565 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife, wants the love of her life....WTF

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Originally Posted by lordmayhem View Post
Would a ring be a conditional gift for an engagement to an already legally married woman?
Yes. I doubt the marital status of the woman has anything to do with considering an engagement ring a conditional gift.

Quote:
Originally Posted by lordmayhem View Post
How can you be engaged to a woman thats already married and living with her husband?
Again, the marital status of the woman has nothing to do with it. Married woman can date other men, sleep with them, and even promise to marry them. They must divorce their husbands before getting married again, but engagements are legal.

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Originally Posted by lordmayhem View Post
And the proposal was not accepted. The case cited doesnt have any bearing on this one.
The proposal not being accepted is the most important fact. Due to an engagement ring being a conditional gift, refusing the proposal should result in the return of the ring. The Roy Williams case was more favorable for the woman. He had a two-year relationship with the woman. They got engaged, and then they called off the engagement. And he's arguing that he's still entitled to the return of the ring. The article says that the pertinent issue is which person terminated the engagement.

In this case, there was only a short, online relationship. There was an implicit proposal by leaving the ring, which CB's wife has refused. The OM has a much better case than Roy Williams for demanding the return of the ring.

Quote:
Originally Posted by lordmayhem View Post
I'm talking about the stalking and harassment that the OM has done that is causing the mental anguish to the wife, husband, and children.
Right. I understand that CB, his wife, and his family are upset by the OM's actions. But I don't see how they rise to the level of harassment that would require remuneration. So far, the police and his attorneys haven't even been able to get a restraining order against the other man because he hasn't threatened them or trespassed.

Fortunately, this discussion is moot because CB has two lawyers who are advising him. I'm only discussing things from my limited understanding of the law and based on how I would vote were I on a jury in such a case. I don't want to leave statements unchallenged that another person may read and believe that the law provides, or requires, something that it doesn't.
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Old 10-12-2011, 04:56 PM   #566 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife, wants the love of her life....WTF

How old is POSOM?

He is insufferable. And annoying as all get out.

I would have your lawyer tell them they need to state something saying how he LEFT IT at your house in your MAILBOX which is a federal offense.

Don't have wife meet with him.

He is nuts. Completely.

Your wife--Idk how she sleeps at night w/ all this bullsh*t going on because of her.
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Old 10-12-2011, 04:58 PM   #567 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife, wants the love of her life....WTF

Right... she SHOULD be embarrassed and guilty.

And hopefully she's remorseful and telling you/showing you so.
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Old 10-12-2011, 05:06 PM   #568 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife, wants the love of her life....WTF

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Originally Posted by Pit-of-my-stomach View Post
do you really want his grandma's ring? Yeah its worth money, you could sell it... but your selling away her memories, and a families heirloom. yeah this dude is a bag of nuts, he deserves to have it sold off to the wind.. But, I dunno the story behind that thing... I don't want to be linked to that story, and just assume have it gone.

If this douche bought the ring, f*ck him, keep it. lesson learned. but this ring comes with history (yeah, I buy karma, energy, souls, good and evil, the whole thing)

anyway...

you want this a$$wipe to learn his lesson obviously... but I would just assume he take his sh*t and get the f*ck out of my face and my life.

I hear ya....

As stupid as it may be I just feel like showing him.... and after his mommy and daddy paying for the lawyer... I just want show them too!!!!

I know is irrational and won't accomplish anything if I do!!! I guess I just would like to make them feel some pain, any pain... a tiny fraction of the pain I have been going through...

I still just want beat the **** out of this POS human trash until there's nothing left!!! It would not change my situation but hell I would feel alot better.
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Old 10-12-2011, 05:09 PM   #569 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife, wants the love of her life....WTF

How has this next suggestion not come up yet....

Can you give him the ring back on condition he agrees to never contact you, your brother, your SIL, or your wife ever again?

Is that enforceable somehow?
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Old 10-12-2011, 05:12 PM   #570 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife, wants the love of her life....WTF

Yea, if I give the ring back it documentation will be prepared I won't just give it back.

Right on the money, my lawyer also thinks POS probably wants to drag this to the courts cause as long as he does he will feel "connected to my wife" most stalkers at some point go this route!!! Yes, if we move and there's a legal case going on without a RO my address is not confidential.

POS is on his early forties, 41, 42 I'm not sure.

Well my wife has been an emotional wreck this last couple of days, she really thought he was going to give up. She has been very apologetic and remorseful.
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