You mean, hypothetically, would such a remorseless person, once their affair was discovered, try to come crawling back to their spouse? I would think it would be mostly annoyance at having their cake eating uncovered that might cause them to make some kind of overture, to save face with their own family or kids or community? But who knows. I remember a woman on TAM whose STBXH actually expected her to lend him her car to help the OW house, or something to that effect. It seems really common for WS to somehow feel there was a justification, so maybe that's why we don't hear a lot about people who crawl back?
My view of divorce, infidelity, and life in general is different than the views of most of those here. TAM has a group of "Laws" that are not, in fact, laws at least in my opinion. First among those is that there is never any justification for infidelity. While this is true most of the time, every case is different.
Worse, infidelity is often (but not always) preceded by some serious strains in the marriage. Some of those strains leave a spouse seriously open to being sexually taken advantage of.
To me, the worst aspect of infidelity is not that a spouse has been physically "defiled", but that trust is broken. And it is. And the breaking of the trust ruins the marriage.
Now since about 50% of marriages and relationships end in divorce or separation and (I'm guessing here) half of those are due to infidelity, we need to understand BEFORE we enter into a relationship that there is a serious chance that infidelity will occur.
But caught up in the hormonal swirl of marriage, we don't think of it. But then, years later, when we discover infidelity we are shocked, shocked!
Here at TAM we've made some attempts to discuss the causes of infidelity and in fact have made some progress. But there are those who consider infidelity a character defect that cannot be fixed. We can give you a heart transplant but we can't fix infidelity.
I don't believe that. Which explains some of the stands that I take.
When my children (all girls, by the way) I impressed on them the point that they had two ways to live. One was to make their own way in the world. The other was to find a man willing to support them for life. That sounds crass, but there it is. They chose to find their own way in the world and have made marriages in which they feel equal in every way to their husbands.
I believe that all children should be raised with the understanding that sh!t happens and that they need to be prepared for it. This isn't a Walt Disney world, and never was.