It's up to each individual to decide if a WS who had an LTA is worth the risk. Many would say that a spouse who neglected, rejected, humiliated, demoralized, emotionally abandoned, and unilaterally decided that their marriage would forevermore remain sexless, all while both parties were only in their mid-40's, was not a great risk.
In extreme cases like these, it would appear that neither party was a great risk. Yet, in at least one case, and in many more, I suspect, both spouses decided that their partner was very much worth the risk. Four years later, and they could not be any happier that they decided to take a risk on one another. When truly Coping with Infidelity, the facts, all of the facts, matter.
This WS didn't crawl back, nor did my BS do any version of the pick me dance, (which no BS should EVER do) and there was no RA. We each worked on ourselves, first, while demonstrating compassion for one another. When we finally started working together, not necessarily with the intention of R, but instead, simply trying to survive the extremely painful ordeal we were experiencing, we realized what we were now capable of having together, and we both ran to each other. We still do. B1 is my anchor in the storm. I make waves, and he keeps us grounded. It works!
I have found that people have different tolerance levels for abuse and differing capacities for forgiveness.
I can only spek hypothetically, as I loved my XW very, very much. I am uncertain if I could have forgiven her had she come clean and truly expressed sorrow for what she had done.
I was a very good, imperfect, loving husband and father. So , I cannot relate to how your husband must have felt, if he acknowledged the truth of your characterization of him.
In most cases, however, I suspect that the betrayed was a good spouse. That would make it much more difficult to forgive, as you were doing your best.