Yeah, that's a significant deterrent to divorce. I'm in my 50's now. Women I'd consider long term relationships with would be roughly 40 to 55 yrs old. Presumably they'd be divorced (I'd be concerned if they'd never been married). So they'll have baggage. And potentially unknown negatives in their history.
I'll be 54 at the end of September. I'm haven't even dated yet. I've been separated since June 2011 and divorced since July 2012. I'm not even in a place financially, emotionally or mentally to go out, let alone date.
Never married may or may not be an issue. Just don't know why and likely never will. It's all scary. And, I haven't met anyone or even seen anyone that has been attractive to me. I mean just at the store or something. You know how you sometimes see an attractive woman? Nope, not me. Those who are will likely be out of my league. I feel doomed.
How could anyone be sure she didn't have a history of cheating?
No one can ever know. Unless, they can talk with their friends who betray their trust. That's unlikely to happen.
Without being in a long term relationship with her, how could one know if she was capable of being a good partner?
I suppose you could go to a marriage counselor and find out something, but that isn't even really enough. They can be fooled, too.
I've been told I would be attractive on the singles market. That's fine if true. It would make it easier to attract a variety of women to meet, but all of them will have their own faults and baggage.
Yep, we all have baggage, especially at this age. Even if a woman is older and her children are gone, you will still have to deal with them and her ex-husband or the father of the children. Don't know if I am up for all that.
Kids won't necessarily respect you because you had no hand in raising them and many times they don't see the need for their mother to take a risk with her happiness. Been there with my mum, though she was older than I am when she remarried. She ended up burying him, though she was fine with it.
To some extent then it comes down to is the devil we know better than the devil we don't?
That's why I did not seek a divorce when I knew she was cheating and also why I did not search for proof. It would have made it tougher, because I would have lost more love and respect for her than necessary. I didn't want to taint my memories with the thoughts of what she was doing and who it was with. She ended up making me know, and that's when I was hurt/harmed the most. Before that, I was okay, but bad. This was all before I came here.
Yes, I loved her more than anyone I'd ever known.
You know what? My counselor asked about someone I dated and if I'd be interested. Yeah, but I told her I wasn't sure how I'd handle her old man after they divorced and her children might hate me. She didn't say anything. I'm going to speak to her about that. Odd that she asked. It's been on my mind.
I get that these were more rhetorical questions. Just felt like giving my opinions, right or wrong. Sometimes, it's nice to get to know someone a little better.