I didn't figure it wrong, @bigfoot
. I got you loud and clear. Thank you for explaining.
According to you, those AP's are equivalent to a serial killer or a child abuser. They have no desire to consider the consequences of their actions or that the person they are having sex with is a human being with a life, loves, dislikes, a family which possibly includes children though definitely includes folks she considers as important in her life, a life which she loves so much that she will attempt to ruin what she built to live happily by having an affair with someone she knows less about than her own husband. He knows she is desperate as does a serial killer with a victim. It causes him to feel powerful and godlike. It gives him comfort to know he has some control in a life without control. And, we all have lives which we can't control much other than our own actions and reactions.
Guess what? You proved further to me that the AP is as much at fault or more, than a poor abused woman who is just seeking to satisfy her sexual desires, her need to be respected, not physically and/or emotionally hurt anymore, and who is just wanting to be loved and cared for.
Seems by your explanation, the AP is a monster, though I doubt he really is. He's just a simpleton whose britches(colloquialism for breeches) are bigger than his capacity for real understanding and empathy.
Something isn't right with your response. I'll think about it. Thank you for explaining.
Whoa there cowboy,
That is SERIOUSLY NOT my point. Maybe you are wanting to debate this issue, and I will back out because you have misconstrued my point in a most remarkable way.
1. Not saying they are like serial killers. Not saying they enjoy and get off on power. In fact, my point applies whether the AP is male or female. That is why I used AP and not OM. Repeat: AP!!! The serial killer point was just to illustrate another point and was not a comparison.
2. Never once suggested a helpless female looking to get her sexual desires fulfilled was taken advantage of by an OM. That is just plain ridiculous. Like that is actually the most ridiculous twisting of what I wrote to the point that you have got to be kidding me. That animal does not exist. The horny tormented innocent woman who loves her family but is seduced and ravished by some sexual sociopath?!! NOPE. FALSE.
Not even sure how else to respond to that. Look: Horny faithful wives are a dime a dozen. Horny faithful husbands are a dime a dozen. The key point is "FAITHFUL". Lot's of folks go thru dry spells, etc. and stay faithful. Sickness and no sex: Faithful. Distance and no sex: Faithful. Angry and no sex: Faithful. Cheater: Not faithful.
Whether one calls it a one time thing, lapse, cry for help, loneliness, misdirection, manifestation of brokenness, FOO, whatever the term of the day happens to be, my position is clear: A cheater is a cheater. Horny. Not horny. Lonely. Not lonely. Unfulfilled. Fulfilled. I've seen them all. In the end, they were just CHEATERS. Remorseful? I don't care. It does not change that label "cheater". Its like "alcoholic" to me. Are they worth the risk again, that is up to the BS. Maybe remorse factors in, but that is up to the BS. I have no dog in that fight.
3. AP is worse? Absolutely did not say that. I think anyone that betrays their family, risks their kid's future and emotional and mental health, destroys their spouse all for a roll in the hay is the worst to me. It may just be me, but I view that as worse, relative to that particular family
. Obviously, if the AP is married with kids then they are worse, relative to that family. Both are garbage, but to me, it takes a special kind of garbage to ruin your own family.
: I don't disagree with your point, I think that since all of this occurs more on a spectrum, what you said and what I said are true. Would that it could be simplified, but we could each pick and post numerous replies from other threads to support our position.