Re: how do APs rationalise destroying a family?
@ both of you: Like the post from a POSOM player - who goes out of his way to have sex with married women - he plays them, makes them feel like goddess. Then dumps them without a thought when he gets bored or it becomes a problem with her husband. Then you have the usual co-worker affairs : Friendship > EA > PA > broken relationship with BS.
People tend to act on their feelings. We're all rather stupid to some degree or another. And sorry ladies - you tend to fall in love with words more than actions. I've had a tough time try to explain to an 18yr relative that she is being played with "love letters" from a guy in prison that she dated short while when she was 16. She's read them to me and I would barf. I even had her talk with a good friend of mine who is an ex-con (minor situation - but still got jail over something he didn't do) - and he's seen it all and even he tried to explain to her the tactics. But SHE IS IN LOVE! Even thou he won't be out for another 3 years... she'll wait for him What stupid nonsense. Geez, I pointed out that she was already being mentally abused when she was worried about him yelling at her because she did something wrong or late. WTF?! Finally got her parents involved and the prison to break contact, etc - etc.
Then soon after, my wife falls for some of the same stupid crap with text messages on her cell-phone with a co-worker. How they will have a great life together and nobody understands them - garbage. When it was nothing more then drunk fog and affair fog. Once reality punched her in the gut, is when she finally saw the affair and the POSOM for what he is. He didn't care about her - just about what he can get. Now mind you - a month before my wife's affair started - there were no real signs to me there was something bothering my wife. We were good, we hung out - we partied, we had fun - we traveled on a vaction, etc. In a matter of weeks, things started changing. She even told a friend that I wasn't fun anymore because we were leaving a party. When in fact - it wasn't true, we were leaving because everyone else was tired and the OM was passed out. Her mind was starting to re-write history.
Even the best marriages, religion, money, whatever - can be brought down with an unplanned co-worker affair. Its a weakness yes... and it still blows chunks.
Oh, Maxo - my wife doesn't know exactly when the affair started. I think its because she felt sorry for the POSM (as did I - thinking he needed help) - but I told her that SHE knew she was doing wrong and broke our relationship the moment she decided to put a password on her phone, which was a week or so later that I found that out when I tried to use it in an honest way and soon after that when the poop hit the fan. Yeah, we have lots of therapy to do.
Last edited by TaDor; 03-30-2016 at 02:33 AM.