One more thing, tell mom to keep her "fire" under wraps and chill, when things ends up in court, or even if they don't, you don't want any ammo for your wife. She has her say in who the go between is.
So its in your moms and yours best interest to pretend to be your wifes best friend. Get it? Your mom will be best served if she remain as nuturial as possible no matter how hard. Your mom needs to see this as all politics right now and judging your crack head wife will only push your mom out of the options.
Sorry for the crack head reference, but all the same your mom needs to check her self for the over all "big picture" on what will best serve you.
If your chick start to cop an additude with you mom, then what?
Refer W call to your mom so that mom can discuss the schedule with W and then mom calls you to confirm, and mom can call back W to verify and confirm, what works for you.
Who's your mom kiding, if her own H can't lite a fire under her butt, what makes your mom think she can? Again mom need to to be non judgemental and nuetral. If there is any time you mom needs to chill is right now. Your W must believe mom is a friend and mom need to prepar her self to do the heavy lifting if she wants this roll as mediator for her grandson.
Mind movies are generally far worse than the truth. The imagination is a powerful thing and if you give it free reign then it will give them the most awesome sex ever in the history of the world.
Think about it. Imagine it.Then think about again, this time imagine them failing dismally.
It is an ego thing. It was cured for me by getting a girlfriend who shock, horror actually likes me! I mean sexually. It was quite a shock after so many years of the stbxw "putting up with it"
I would NEVER go back to that again. You deserve to be loved for WHO YOU ARE and Liked sexually in equal measure. Of course it is a two way street You have to feel the same way and you have to put out.
One of the things I have learnt is to shut the fcuk up. Listen and be there when I am wanted. And foreplay 5 days ahead. Priceless
Forget the sex act. It is the emotional stuff that is killing you, her being in love with another guy, giving him all of herself, not just her body that hurts so much.
If she wants to come back you have to set some very clear boundaries. Be very clear as to what that means. No longer should you accept that she wants you as "a friend" with limited intimacy.
It is just not acceptable my friend. Marriage is a sexual relationship. Duh. It took me 25 years to work it out so not throwing stones here..
Yeah it is the emotional intimacy that hurts more than the sexual part alot of the time. After reading a message she wrote to him " It is so nice to have someone so special and caring in my life. You are my baby and always will be . You and only you ! " . This devastated me since I have took care of her for the past eight years and tried to do nothing but show her love and caring. She actually even wrote this while she was staying at my house for a week and was having sex with me. I immediately called him and he told him where she had been. He said he knew she had to be here cause my son was sick. When I told him that my son wasn't sick at all and that she was over here having sex with me all week, he hung up the phone. He then wrote me a message saying " You are an old washed up man and why would she want you when she has me ? " I am 39yrs old and she is 29. He is 25. He was so conceded that he didn't even hear what I said and wouldn't accept it. Finally he broke it off but still tried to message her long after. Even after 2 weeks I still went in here online history and would see where she was checking out his facebook. So the emotional factor is almost too much to bare also. Why is she searching for something I tried so hard to give her everyday? She hated when I tried to be affectionate.
Why is she searching for something I tried so hard to give her everyday? She hated when I tried to be affectionate.
Exactly, why when they find what they seek are they no longer attracted to it. Women are crazy. The ironic thing about giving her all that affection for free is that you tried too hard and that repulsion overcame the attraction of you being the provider of the affection she sought. And she was probably very confused about all this and why she no longer respected or was attracted to you... the harder you tried the more confused she got. And as I have come to see in the cheating wife they just simply go find it from someone else, where is the loyalty, where is the honor??
Exactly, why when they find what they seek are they no longer attracted to it. Women are crazy. The ironic thing about giving her all that affection for free is that you tried too hard and that repulsion overcame the attraction of you being the provider of the affection she sought. And she was probably very confused about all this and why she no longer respected or was attracted to you... the harder you tried the more confused she got. And as I have come to see in the cheating wife they just simply go find it from someone else, where is the loyalty, where is the honor??
She fell victim to her primal urge. She allowed it. Guys have this all the time and we are taught by other men early on
"Stop thinking with your penis"
Some women are blindsided by it when it happens, they have no experience or methods to deal with it since they have always been a "good girl"
They mistake lust for love and of course the OM encourages this because a woman in love is very very sexy and they get to have sex with her.
Some women are blindsided by it when it happens, they have no experience or methods to deal with it since they have always been a "good girl" .
Problem is , she was never a good girl since she was 15. She has always been addicted to drugs. She stripped for awhile and I really believe that she has had to fake feeling for all these guys just to get money or drugs out of them for so long ,that she doesn't know what real feelings are. I will admit I think she is really confused and certainly can't handle the fact of even being loved , but desires attention from friends and guys. She can only stay away from them for just so long before she craves it again. She starves for attention , but its the wrong kind of attention. I really feel if another guy really treats her with love and affection it will only last so long anyway. He won't be able to cope with her like I did after awhile. I think my biggest fear is that she will probably be overly content and happy with a guy that doesn't really pay close attention to her because he really don't give a **** about her.
I think my biggest fear is that she will probably be overly content and happy with a guy that doesn't really pay close attention to her because he really don't give a **** about her.
Tada..
You feel responsible for her. You need to let that go as fast as you can. I added to the end of the letting go thread because it was something I had been doing despite myself.
YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR HER ****TY LIFE CHOICES AND THE CONSEQUENCES SHE WILL SUFFER.
I'll never forget when the first love of my life cheated on me and left me. I was hanging out with my friends soon after this and we were watching a movie and I drifted off to sleep. I awoke during a scene in the movie (not a porn movie, btw) where a girl was getting done really hard and was screaming. The screaming woke me up. I immediately slipped into a panic thinking about my GF being done like that. As silly as it sounds, this was a major trauma in my life that i will never forget. The pain was unbearable.
This was not the last hurt in my life but I think the first is always the worst.
In order for a woman to want you, she has to respect you for who you are as a man.
We talk about love and caring as if its the salvation of a relationship, but it is actually only a reward given for what supports the relationship. "Love" is a word that describes a "feeling" which is an electrochemical state of the mind, and that state is determined roughly by the presence of the neurochemicals dopamine and oxytocin among others in unknown quantities/configurations.
You need food to survive, and food is nothing more than plants and animals that have been dominated and killed by a human hand to provide you with the ENERGY you need to live- a car is made from metal ore and various oil configurations- everything in life centers around the manipulation of matter and time.
See? THIS is what a woman is attracted to. Money is nothing more than your ability at any given time to immediately control assets created by mankind's manipulation of the environment. This is why women are attracted to rich men (some are), smart men (some are), strong men (some are), good fathers (some are), and SUCCESSFUL MEN (again, some are); women are attracted to men who can manipulate her environment in a desirable way. This can be through wealth or wisdom, but it is LEADERSHIP that she desires in either case.
If you want your woman to want you, or any woman to want you, you must build who you are as a man. Hit the gym, take some classes at a college THAT INTEREST YOU, learn about people, demand that others treat you with respect while you do the same, and do everything in your cognitive capacity to effect a positive difference in the world around you.
Dont you see? Unconditional love is the SPOILS she gives you for being that man; she wont love you simply because you give her caring, but instead she will love you for who you are as a man.
They will twist everything you have ever done in a way that justifies why they are leaving, and they will believe every word of it- it FEELS right to be with the OM because of what he offers in ways you might not understand. Yeah, maybe hes broke- so are many wise men. Yeah, maybe hes ugly, but so are many good men. As is commonly said, she may eventually REALIZE that the OM isnt what she thought he was- that initially limited stage on which they correspond is wrought with ignorance. She sees what he has constructed (when you date a woman, you try to look as cool, calm, collected, successful and "sharp" as possible, right?) for her, and what her ignorance blinds her from initially seeing. Or, perhaps hes just better for her than you are.
Its hard to know, but one thing is for sure: you lose nothing by improving who you are as a man, accepting what you cannot change (including her feelings), and by letting go of something that is preventing you from ascending in the manner I describe.
As long as she desires drugs it won't matter what you do, so in this case get as far away from her as possible and talk to mom and get her to take and recieve any contact with your boy from W and relay and trnsmit any thing regarding the matter.
I hope your search for a lawyer is successful. b/c this sh~t is so wrong in every way. The soon the boy getts away from that poor excusse of a mother the better.
Theres a chick out there that is like minded and will make a great step mom, so just like maintaining your sobrity you must maintain the drive to protect you son.
Right now you are not in court so stop being affraid, now you are shopping for the shark (lawyer)....the shark that is on your side so once you find the right shark for you, then you will get the right advice and choices with regard to getting the custody that will be healthier for the boy. Granted 80% is good , but 100% will prevent him from witnessing the things he's witnessed for the last 4 years.
If you can pull your self out of that bedroom you can do what needs to be done to protect the boy.
BTW, sorry for posting in this thread . I just typed way to much to delete it and redo it on your other thread.
Yeah , my son came home today and said that mommy had a friend come over last night while he was there. My son woke up and said they were talking in her bedroom when he peeked in . The only night in 7 days she has had him and she still can't keep her mingling away from him ! She has every night to be with whoever she wants and I just got done asking her to keep her test subjects away from my son at all costs. She just won't listen. When I text her about what my son said , she responded that Mike had stopped over for just a minute to bring her a pack of cigarettes . Who the hell is Mike ? I have never heard of her mention a Mike before so I doubt its someone from work. She said he lives in her development which I doubt also and why would you let some guy from your development in your bedroom ? I told her it didn't matter who he was or what he was doing there , it is a strange man in your bedroom for my son to see. His poor little mind does not know how to register that and my son is very shy around new people . None the less when he just wakes up in the middle of the night in his own house. I started chewing her ass out and she said she had to get back to work and would call later which I knew she wouldn't. I just couldn't hold back the tears when I hung up .
Your lawyer will let you know about a moral clause that will prevent this from happening, the only thing is your chick won't give a damb, she has no respect for the law, no respect for you and no respect for her self.
So what is up with a lawyer???????????
Re: The Images ! 
