I have been cheated on by every girl I have been with. My first wife slept with my brother and 2 of my friends. That was when I was 16-17 and being that young was so overbearing I couldn't cope with it. I ended up marrying her though and mentally tortured her through all of it. We moved from Vermont to Myrtle beach. Finally I saw what I was doing and let her go and get a new life. She always tried to make up for it by being the ideal wife in all aspects for 10yrs and I just couldn't shake the pain. I still haven't talked to my brother since and its been 23 years ! I found a girl soon after and poured my heart into her and her child. The father of the girl never wanted her , so I took care of them. She absolutely hated this guy. After 2yrs she decided to get him for support and he still denied it was his kid. Then one night I discovered he was at her house while she was trying to avoid me. She was sleeping with him behind my back. I was crushed ! I then met a girl that I loved so much and we got along great. We moved in together and after 2 yrs together she was getting dropped of at the house by a guy on Valentines day which she chose over being with me and I found out she left her overnight bag in his car. After that , I was on a path of self destruction and turned to drugs. I had never touched heavy drugs in my life up till 30yrs old. With all this continuous rejection and pain I developed a cocaine/crack habit that would have killed a regular drug user. I went from 180lbs ripped muscle to 128lbs of pale frail waste within 6 months It got so bad I was talking to shadow people that weren't even there . I lost everything, my sports car, my money and a good job. I found a new job and met a really beautiful girl at work. She was so into me and flirting all the time ,it felt refreshing . We finally started to get serious and within the first month she was sleeping with our boss. Back on the drugs I went ! While being in the drug atmosphere I met the last girl ( which is now the mother of my child ) . She was a drug user since 15yrs old and was 22 and I was now 32. One morning when we woke up , something hit me and said " Enough is Enough " . I told her I wasn't going to work and was gonna head back home to Vermont and get cleaned up ( After 8 months of drug abuse ) and offered her to come and straighten out her life with me. We went to Vermont and she started stealing money from my father for beer while I was looking for work in the middle of winter. I kicked her out and bought her a plane ticket back home to Myrtle Beach. From their I moved to an Island ( Martha's Vineyard ) and began doing carpentry. I stayed in an enclosed bedroom for 6 months and didn't even watch TV. I just sat dormant and reflecting on my life.
Now I was doing alright and finally at some peace in my mind and then one day somehow she got ahold of me and it was somewhat refreshing to talk to her again. I told her she could come to the island if she really wanted to get her life together and flew her up. She came up and we eventually moved out of my friends and into our own place. We were doing great and she found a job. Then she started wanting to go to work parties which I told her wasn't a good idea for her sobriety. She resented me for it and eventually left to go live with a new friend. It didn't last a week and she called crying to come back. That night our son was conceived . She was fine for throughout the pregnancy and our son was amazing. He was the joy of my life. The work soon ran out and we were forced to move . Her mother said we could go back to Myrtle Beach and live in her house for free for awhile till we got work. Big Mistake ! As soon as we crossed the border she was talking to old friends and back on the pills she was addicted to before. From there she started coming home at 5am and getting dropped off by guys. She then asked me to move out. Within 10 days She was sleeping with her boss in our bed. I would have to call her everyday to wake her up from his house to come home. When I would go over to drop my son off I would find cocaine in the drawer and condoms in the trash. It was too overwhelming. One morning I found her boss in her bed while dropping my son off before work. She attacked me on my way into the bedroom and was arrested for domestic violence. About a month later she ended her fling and wanted to straighten out again , so I allowed her to move in with me. She never went to rehab like she said she was gonna and never shut her phone off like we agreed. She stayed for 12 months and when spring hit she was out again till 5am all the time. I finally threw her out and she got her own place. Within a week or two my son walked into a different guy in her bed when my moms husband dropped him off. My son was destroyed by it now he was 4yrs old and this is the second guy in 12 months he has walked into in her bed. She kept on with this guy for 2 months and started comin over to my house again saying she loved me. We started having sex again which was kind of creepy at this point. I then called the OM and told him where she was all week just so he knew and it was actually for his own good. He got pissed and called me names and that was that. She started staying with me overnight for the next 2 months every night for the most part and still kept her place too. She said she would get help and be in rehab by September . Which was 4 weeks ago. She never did anything and just stopped coming by and never called. Right then , I knew she was up to no good again and its been like this for the past 2 weeks. I told her , I knew what she was up to and that I was done with all of her lies and rejection. She said she is taking time for herself and was trying to do the right thing , which she said the other times and was sleeping with these guys shortly after. Says she's gonna go to counseling and meetings . She has tried this before and ends up quitting the meeting and the counseling and besides what does that have to do with me. I have been the one trying to get her to go all along ! She absolutely hates me for trying to show her a good way to live and now I have wasted all of these years and am back to being alone. Now someone else will reap the rewards of all my hard work. I am mentally broke down from a life of being cheated on and rejected ! Very emotional tonight and I just can't cope very well at all . Really tired of crying and breaking down at work. Thanks for reading my story ! Sorry was so long but wanted to show the history of cheating I have dealt with all my life. ;0(
First I wanna say good on you!! Drug Free for 8 years thats awesome! You should be proud.
But, honestly, you need to file for custody and get your son away from her. Heres the reality of it all. ACS could step in, take your son away from her and put him in the system. Its only a matter of time until neighbors, teachers or friends rat her out on her absurd, and unsafe behavior she is exposing your son to.
And you really shouldnt be bothering with her. Not just because of the cheating..but because of her risky lifestyle.
Im usually one of those, " what do you want to do" type of people...buttttt in this case I think you need to be told:
Get your son, and get away from her. Its really not a safe environment for him, and seeing how youve been straight for 8 years, you seem like the ideal parent in this situation.
Time to find a "like minded" woman! Someone who appreciates your sobriety and appreciates you. Realize that you attract a specific type of woman, and you are attracted to that type. It's time to change the "type" of woman you look for. Perhaps you want the type that needs to be rescued. You are a knight in shining armour and need to save these women from themselves. Give it up and find someone who will be faithful, sober, healthy and into you! Good luck.
First I wanna say good on you!! Drug Free for 8 years thats awesome! You should be proud.
But, honestly, you need to file for custody and get your son away from her. Heres the reality of it all. ACS could step in, take your son away from her and put him in the system. Its only a matter of time until neighbors, teachers or friends rat her out on her absurd, and unsafe behavior she is exposing your son to.
And you really shouldnt be bothering with her. Not just because of the cheating..but because of her risky lifestyle.
Im usually one of those, " what do you want to do" type of people...buttttt in this case I think you need to be told:
Get your son, and get away from her. Its really not a safe environment for him, and seeing how youve been straight for 8 years, you seem like the ideal parent in this situation.
Good luck, I wish you the best.
Thank you for your words. Like I have stated on other posts . I am really afraid of losing custody if I try for it. Then I will see my son much less than I do. I see have him 80% of the time now. Others have stated to go to a lawyer and I know I need to , but the sheer thought of losing to her and having to give her money on top of it just kills me . The odds of me getting sole custody of him in South Carolina is slim to none. The want more proof than what I have. But I know it will go to court soon enough I'm sure.
If she does drugs, all you need is a drug test, right? Atleast he is with you most of the time then. I hope for his sake and yours, you are able to move forward and start your life with just him.
If she does drugs, all you need is a drug test, right? Atleast he is with you most of the time then. I hope for his sake and yours, you are able to move forward and start your life with just him.
She sees a doctor that has prescribed her a pill called suboxone which is suppose to block the inhibitors in the brain from wanting or getting effects from pills. Problem is that it is also a highly addictive pill and she can't get off them now. She has been on them for 2 years and when she tries to get off them she goes into body pain and gets right back on street drugs. Suboxone is suppose to be administered along with counseling and NA meeting 5 times a week which she doesn't do. He also drug tests her every 2 weeks in order for her to get more and she does cocaine right after the drug test for a week and then stays clean for a week before the next one. Then they don't detect it. Now I know for a fact that she has smoked pot throughout this so-called therapy and that must be getting detected. But he still keeps her on them. She treats it like some kind of game. In the last 2 months she has been weaning off of them and was supposedly ready to go to rehab and he told her he didn't think it was a good idea for her to get off the suboxone and just start going to counseling and meetings which hasn't worked in the past. She needs to go to rehab and be secluded from everything for 3-6 months and re-establish her way of living and her mind, but she just won't do it. She always takes the easy way out. The judge will see it as she is trying to get better !
CJ2 for the sake of your son, why don't you arrange fir her to get caught with all these drugs and thrown in jail.
I gotta wonder what she must be doing to earn these drugs etc, as she doesn't sound like someone who can be trusted to hold a job. Not to mention the STDs she must have caught along the way.
She sounds like a train wreck that is only a matter of time before it crashes, possibly enough to kill her.
Your story is heart breaking. Posted via Mobile Device
CJ2 for the sake of your son, why don't you arrange fir her to get caught with all these drugs and thrown in jail.
I gotta wonder what she must be doing to earn these drugs etc, as she doesn't sound like someone who can be trusted to hold a job. Not to mention the STDs she must have caught along the way.
She sounds like a train wreck that is only a matter of time before it crashes, possibly enough to kill her.
Your story is heart breaking. Posted via Mobile Device
There is no way to set her up. She is too sneaky when she needs to be. She has definitely slept with some pretty gruesome guys before I met her just to get drugs , money and a place to stay. She is manipulative because she is kinda hot and easy to get by the looks. If she's not dead yet , she won't ever get there now. She is a veteran drug user .She has already been to jail 4 times. Car theft, stealing and domestic violence ! My worry is what might happen to my son. I walked in her house the other day to find my son standing in her living room by himself while she was in the bedroom snoring. He is only 4yrs old. There were matches on the floor and pills prescription pills by her bed with the door unlocked. He could have walked right out the door and she would have never known. or caught the house on fire. I am so scared ! Need to get to a lawyer soon I think.
Time to find a "like minded" woman! Someone who appreciates your sobriety and appreciates you. Realize that you attract a specific type of woman, and you are attracted to that type. It's time to change the "type" of woman you look for. Perhaps you want the type that needs to be rescued. You are a knight in shining armour and need to save these women from themselves. Give it up and find someone who will be faithful, sober, healthy and into you! Good luck.
BINGO!!!! If you see a girl YOUR attracted to? Don't go there, look for the exact opposite!!
Says she's gonna go to counseling and meetings . She has tried this before and ends up quitting the meeting and the counseling and besides what does that have to do with me. I have been the one trying to get her to go all along ! She absolutely hates me for trying to show her a good way to live and now I have wasted all of these years and am back to being alone......P.S I have been drug free for 8yrs !
Listen, I don't know much at all about the Courts, but others here may, this stuff you mentioned HERE, her NOT keeping counseling meetings, she's been in jail 4 times -domestic violence!!! Do you have a record too? If not, Surely ALL of this is in your favor BIG TIME to get custody of your son. Start taking pictures, gather evidence, keep a journal, talk to a lawyer, get a plan of action. TODAY. I would think , if you are a good man now, you will win hands down if there is a custody battle in the courts.
If you have been drug free for years like this, this is in your favor, the parent who has cleaned up his life and is living for his child. Courts are supposed to care most about the welfare of the children.
A man fighting up against a sqeeky clean MOM wouldn't have a chance, but this ..... Oh my !!
Listen, I don't know much at all about the Courts, but others here may, this stuff you mentioned HERE, her NOT keeping counseling meetings, she's been in jail 4 times -domestic violence!!! Do you have a record too? If not, Surely ALL of this is in your favor BIG TIME to get custody of your son. Start taking pictures, gather evidence, keep a journal, talk to a lawyer, get a plan of action. TODAY. I would think , if you are a good man now, you will win hands down if there is a custody battle in the courts.
If you have been drug free for years like this, this is in your favor, the parent who has cleaned up his life and is living for his child. Courts are supposed to care most about the welfare of the children.
A man fighting up against a sqeeky clean MOM wouldn't have a chance, but this ..... Oh my !!
I have never been to jail or had any prior record. I only did drug for 8 months in my life and that was 8 yrs ago.
First off, I echo the sentiments you should immediately get hard proof that she is doing drugs and take it straight to court. That child needs you to step up and be a man. Not to be a jerk, but are you sure its your son?
Secondly, and please hear me out, you either have a very poor taste in women or you are doing something during the relationships to make them move on to other men. More than likely you are providing them with love but not with leadership. It is a vastly overstated meme in todays society that love somehow feeds itself- you must be a man, demand respect, be respectful, be firm but open-minded, and you must do what you can to guide those around you.
As I said in another thread, you must do everything you can to better yourself as a man and now as a father. That is the way to the woman of your dreams, the way to bringing up a smart and successful son, and the way to avoid this cycle of misery you seem to be in. I wish you the best..
First off, I echo the sentiments you should immediately get hard proof that she is doing drugs and take it straight to court. That child needs you to step up and be a man. Not to be a jerk, but are you sure its your son?
Secondly, and please hear me out, you either have a very poor taste in women or you are doing something during the relationships to make them move on to other men. More than likely you are providing them with love but not with leadership. It is a vastly overstated meme in todays society that love somehow feeds itself- you must be a man, demand respect, be respectful, be firm but open-minded, and you must do what you can to guide those around you.
As I said in another thread, you must do everything you can to better yourself as a man and now as a father. That is the way to the woman of your dreams, the way to bringing up a smart and successful son, and the way to avoid this cycle of misery you seem to be in. I wish you the best..
I am very intelligent and caring. I also have a very strong mind set in how things should be. I listen to the problems and give the best advice and direction possible and she never seems to take it. I am not over judging and will forgive things as you can see . I am not a step on type of guy even though it seems that way. I just desire to be happy and do everything right to make things work. I am not some love sick puppy , I have just been reprogrammed by the games these woman play. Each plays a different mind game and by the time I figure it out they are gone. These girls are masters of manipulation. I know cause I use to play the game too a long time ago and for them to hide it so well is truly amazing to me. They play it so well I think am intrigued by their devastating display of affection and hatred that I stick around to actually figure it out so the next one can't do it. I am not an idiot , I do know this has been no good for me and is not healthy what so ever. I also know that she is not really in love with me at all or ever has been. But if you play a losing game as long as I have , I guess you never expect to win.
Very Lost and Broken ! .... Very Long 
