I feel guilty...
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Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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Old 10-08-2011, 01:32 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default I feel guilty...

I feel guilty, I'm married but I'm having an affair. I love my wife, I'd die for her, but I feel like I got married too soon in my life. I spent most of my young life either studying for school or working my ass off at my job. I didn't date that much when I was younger, so I didn't have much of a sex life. Once I was finally able to secure my life with a good paying job I met a great girl. We dated three years and then got married. I wasn't too thrilled of getting married, it wasn't really my desire to do so, she was the one that was pushing me into it, but at the time it didn't seem like a bad idea. I loved her very much ( I still do), so I didn't put too much thought into whether it was a good idea or not. It's not until two years later that I realized that I got married too soon before I got to really enjoy life. Most people go through multiple partners and accumulate years of sexual experience and fulfillment before getting married. I did not. And just so that you fully understand my situation, it wasn't like I couldn't get into relationships when I was younger. I'm actually a tall and good looking guy, but I am slightly socially shy (and maybe a little nerdy too). But in my youth I was more concerned about studying and establishing my life than getting laid, even though it was definitely on my mind.

My wife has had multiple boyfriends in her past. I've only had at most two before her, one was less than a year during high school and not filled with much sex, and the other was two months during college. I don't begrudge her for having more sexual partners than me, I just wish I could have felt more fulfillment in my sexual life as well. As a result, I have started seeing other women. I have been doing this for about six months now. I always use protection, I would never endanger my wife's life. I feel guilty for doing this, but before I was doing this I was unhappy. And its not like we don't have sex, we do, and its good. I just didn't feel like a “normal” human being who was supposed to go through many relationships before getting married.

What should I do? Should I get a divorce?

Am I a bad person? I'm aware of what I'm doing is immoral. I do love her.
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Old 10-08-2011, 04:09 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: I feel guilty...

Stop with the BS, about how you love her

She may love you, but if you are actively seeking/seeing other women, you sure as he*l do not love your wife

Your past histories, as to dating have nothing to do, with you cheating

Divorce her, don't hurt her with the truth---just tell her you want to be single, and get your D----she deserves a good, and happy life, and she doesn't deserve to have a nuclear winter reigned down upon her---so just get your D---then you can mess with a different girl every night

Unfortunately---what you may learn is, that of all the women out there, none of them will ever love you as your wife has, and you may just spend the rest of your life moving from one woman to the next, trying to find someone/anyone close to what your wife is

But don't hesitate to get D.---you certainly do not deserve a loving good wife---so go and be with the *****'s you desire, and enjoy your life.
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Old 10-08-2011, 04:59 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: I feel guilty...

Quote:
I got married too soon before I got to really enjoy life.
This is your problem. You should have gotten married IN ORDER TO enjoy your life MORE. Oh well.

Divorce her, let her move on with her life with someone who is able to love her. And stop fooling yourself that you love her. You're deep into justifying your actions (too young, too inexperienced, made a mistake, I feel guilty already, etc) but they really aren't justifiable.

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Am I a bad person?
Since you asked, well I don't know you, but it sure sounds like it.
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Old 10-08-2011, 05:07 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: I feel guilty...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eddie View Post

What should I do? Should I get a divorce?

Am I a bad person? I'm aware of what I'm doing is immoral. I do love her.
You are not a bad person but you sure as hell are doing something bad.

Betrayal is the worst thing you can do to your wife short of killing her. This is not an exaggeration.

How exactly are you showing love for you wife?

It is immoral and just plain stupid. You will end up losing her, your love and the affair will almost certainly end and you will lose everything.

Stop it now!
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Old 10-08-2011, 08:59 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: I feel guilty...

Your actions go against your words.

Your words:
"I love my wife. I'd die for her.!

Actions:
You are sleeping with other women. They could carry Hepatits C through saliva. Kissing them and then your wife could result in her death. It is an asymptomatic disease.

If you really love your wife, stop this destructive behaviour immediately. Cherish what you have and make your lives fun and interesting.

No-one deserves the pain of infidelity foisted upon them in such a cold and calculated way.

Your guilt is deserved and I think you know you are a selfish person, without morals. If your wife learns about your infidelity only she can say you are a bad person.

What you are doing is not just bad but downright treachery to your wife and ultimately to yourself, hence your feelings of guilt..
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Old 10-08-2011, 09:37 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: I feel guilty...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eddie View Post
... I love my wife, I'd die for her,

... I loved her very much ( I still do), ...

... As a result, I have started seeing other women. I have been doing this for about six months now. I always use protection, I would never endanger my wife's life. I feel guilty for doing this, but before I was doing this I was unhappy. And its not like we don't have sex, we do, and its good.

...

What should I do? Should I get a divorce?

Am I a bad person? I'm aware of what I'm doing is immoral. I do love her.
If committing adultery is how you show love to your wife, you need to re-examine your moral standards you have learnt and established.

You say you would die for your wife, but I dont see how you would die for someone you are not loyal to? It's a puzzle to me.

Anyway, the situation you placed yourself in is a mess..
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Old 10-08-2011, 10:53 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: I feel guilty...

Wah wah wah.

I feel sorry for your wife.

You feel guilty but haven't stopped the affair. Nice.
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They want vodka and Taco Bell.
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Old 10-08-2011, 11:43 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: I feel guilty...

As someone who has cheated on his wife, and someone who married his first serious girlfriend and sexual partner... What you're doing is not the acts of someone who loves their wife. It's the acts of someone who is putting their own selfish needs first. Decide what you want to do; either work on the marriage (confess and stop the affairs) or end the marriage. It's going to blow up sooner or later, and it's going to be that much worse when it does.

As far as not endangering your wife goes, herpes is spread through skin to skin contact. A number of STD's are transferable through oral sex as well. Talk to an STD clinic to get the real scoop.

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Old 10-08-2011, 11:47 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: I feel guilty...

HPV is transferred easily too. There's no test for men for that.

This can cause cancer, warts, or other things depending on the strand.

Some "love" you got for your wife
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Old 10-08-2011, 11:47 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: I feel guilty...

immoral = bad. 'nuff said.

Divorce your wife. BTW, condoms only offer protection from some STD. As others have pointed out above. Some are transmitted via saliva, others thru skin-to-skin contact (like legs / thighs as an example) which could be Herpes.

You are probably never going to find another like your wife. I feel really bad for her. I feel even worse for you. Betrayal is not loving someone to the point of "dieing for them".
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Old 10-08-2011, 02:59 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: I feel guilty...

post and run?
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Old 10-08-2011, 03:01 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: I feel guilty...

Quote:
Originally Posted by ing View Post
post and run?
Maybe he thought we'd be understanding and somewhat say what he's doing is ok. lollll.
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Old 10-08-2011, 03:29 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: I feel guilty...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eddie;445867 [B
Most people go through multiple partners and accumulate years of sexual experience and fulfillment before getting married. I did not.
No, not everyone does have multiple partners actually.

Grow up and knock it off. Tell your wife what you've done and let her know what kind of marriage she is in.

Hopefully you'll have a chance to salvage it.
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Old 10-08-2011, 10:27 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: I feel guilty...

Stop using your wife as a scapegoat for your problems. YOU got yourself married, so you only have yourself to blame. So you are complaining about the fact that you didn't get to try a few models before buying the one you've had for life. You sound like someone who shouldnt even be driving a car, sir, let alone being married. I think this is a troll but I couldn't resist a bit of a bite.
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Old 10-08-2011, 11:45 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: I feel guilty...

Im sorry to be so blunt but if you cheated on your wife you are a POS in my book.
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