Re: Need some of that expert TAM wisdom
Checked on my mom, and while I was there I checked on her iPad and sure enough my wife is still on Facebook (and still friends with my mom). She has obviously blocked me to where I can't see anything (including even looking up her name in the Facebook search box).
Little background. My wife's father left her mom when she was around two yrs old. My wife never met this man. He never contacted her in any way. He actually died about five yrs ago. My wife's mom remarried a man when my wife was around 5 yrs old.
This guy was an alcoholic, and pretty controlling. My wife didn't really get to do much growing up. My MIL is a very simple country woman. She does whatever this guy says, and if she doesn't he won't talk to her. I'm sure my MIL also fears that he would leave her, and that this has always been in the back of her mind.
My wife, seeing all of this, was hell bent on NOT being like her mother. Her mom won't order what she wants at a restaurant. She orders exactly what her husband orders. If she did order something different it damn well better not be more expensive then what he ordered. That's how pathetic their relationship is.
My wife has gone overboard not being her mother, which in a lot of ways I'm proud of her. However if I say anything to her, I'm controlling. Let's look at our relationship.
*she doesn't have to work (SAHM)
*she goes where ever she wants to without me asking her
*she talks to whoever she wants to without me asking her
*she eats whatever she wants (when she wants)
*she drinks when she wants (or what she wants)
*I don't have her pass code on her cell nor have I asked for it
*I don't have her pass code for her computer (haven't asked)
*I don't have the code for her iPad (haven't asked)
*I'm not on her Facebook pg nor do I have that code or see her comments or emails
*I don't tell her what to wear
*She's not accountable to me to what she does during the day
*she doesn't kiss me any more
*she decides when we mess around (and for how long)
*every suggestion I have about the kids gets shot down
*she has access to our checking account however any $ she makes is hers (she has said, "that's my money")
She does whatever she wants, and if I say anything I'm controlling. I know, bash me, as it's pretty damn obvious I haven't been more demanding of her (not controlling). Again she's gone WAY overboard to not be like her mom.
So as I've said, feel like she'd give me codes when I ask for them, but in her crazy freakin viewpoint this will be me being controlling.
I know I've played a big part on where our relationship is due to me not having my hand on the tiller (as Marduk) mentioned. I will try to dig and see what I can find as the more I think about this the more pissed off I get.