Need some of that expert TAM wisdom - Page 9 - Talk About Marriage
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post #121 of 213 (permalink) Old 04-22-2016, 02:04 PM
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Re: Need some of that expert TAM wisdom

What about doing what she does?

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post #122 of 213 (permalink) Old 04-22-2016, 02:26 PM
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Re: Need some of that expert TAM wisdom

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What about doing what she does?
That's a great idea, except OP has no clue what his wife is actually doing!!!
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post #123 of 213 (permalink) Old 04-22-2016, 02:28 PM
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Re: Need some of that expert TAM wisdom

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Originally Posted by Tobyboy View Post
That's a great idea, except OP has no clue what his wife is actually doing!!!
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He gave a pretty good list right here:

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My wife has gone overboard not being her mother, which in a lot of ways I'm proud of her. However if I say anything to her, I'm controlling. Let's look at our relationship.
*she doesn't have to work (SAHM)
*she goes where ever she wants to without me asking her
*she talks to whoever she wants to without me asking her
*she eats whatever she wants (when she wants)
*she drinks when she wants (or what she wants)
*I don't have her pass code on her cell nor have I asked for it
*I don't have her pass code for her computer (haven't asked)
*I don't have the code for her iPad (haven't asked)
*I'm not on her Facebook pg nor do I have that code or see her comments or emails
*I don't tell her what to wear
*She's not accountable to me to what she does during the day
*she doesn't kiss me any more
*she decides when we mess around (and for how long)
*every suggestion I have about the kids gets shot down
*she has access to our checking account however any $ she makes is hers (she has said, "that's my money")
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post #124 of 213 (permalink) Old 04-22-2016, 03:29 PM
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Re: Need some of that expert TAM wisdom

So your wife is doing everything she wants,she gives zero F. about you and what you say about your kids and Marriage?

Are you Afraid of her my friend ?

Let her know you will not tolerate this behaviour anymore,she needs to change. She is living with you and you are not her Step-father.

At this moment you are only there to pay the bills and nothing more.

I couldnt live like this,sorry.
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post #125 of 213 (permalink) Old 04-22-2016, 03:57 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Need some of that expert TAM wisdom

Marduk, sounds good but
*She doesn't ask me where I go
*She doesn't tell me what to eat or drink
*she doesn't tell me what to wear
*she doesn't tell me who to talk to
* when I travel she doesn't ask me where I stay or where I'm going while there
*she doesn't tell me what I can spend money on
*I don't have a code on my computer
*I don't have a code on my cell
*I don't have a code on my iPad
*I'm not accountable to her where I've been during the day when I leave

We both basically do whatever we want.

Every time I try to talk to her about anything that's not sitting well with me she gets defensive. I'm now becoming "controlling".
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post #126 of 213 (permalink) Old 04-22-2016, 04:00 PM
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Re: Need some of that expert TAM wisdom

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Originally Posted by sideways View Post
Marduk, sounds good but
*She doesn't ask me where I go
*She doesn't tell me what to eat or drink
*she doesn't tell me what to wear
*she doesn't tell me who to talk to
* when I travel she doesn't ask me where I stay or where I'm going while there
*she doesn't tell me what I can spend money on
*I don't have a code on my computer
*I don't have a code on my cell
*I don't have a code on my iPad
*I'm not accountable to her where I've been during the day when I leave

We both basically do whatever we want.

Every time I try to talk to her about anything that's not sitting well with me she gets defensive. I'm now becoming "controlling".
So, when you walk out the door at night looking and smelling good, not telling her what you're doing, she doesn't ask and care?

What I'm saying is do what she does. See how she responds.

If she doesn't care, she checked out long ago.

If she does, you have something to discuss.
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post #127 of 213 (permalink) Old 04-22-2016, 04:00 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Need some of that expert TAM wisdom

Be Smart, I am NOT afraid of her, trust me.

I'm tired of living this way as well.
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post #128 of 213 (permalink) Old 04-22-2016, 04:06 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Need some of that expert TAM wisdom

Moonshadow, yes I do have her last iPhone, however I have no way of getting on her laptop as a code is needed. Is there a way around this?

S
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post #129 of 213 (permalink) Old 04-22-2016, 04:11 PM
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Re: Need some of that expert TAM wisdom

Quote:
Originally Posted by sideways View Post
Marduk, sounds good but
*She doesn't ask me where I go
*She doesn't tell me what to eat or drink
*she doesn't tell me what to wear
*she doesn't tell me who to talk to
* when I travel she doesn't ask me where I stay or where I'm going while there
*she doesn't tell me what I can spend money on
*I don't have a code on my computer
*I don't have a code on my cell
*I don't have a code on my iPad
*I'm not accountable to her where I've been during the day when I leave

We both basically do whatever we want.

Every time I try to talk to her about anything that's not sitting well with me she gets defensive. I'm now becoming "controlling".
And there it is.

This is what you say to that...

"Wife, I have precisely ZERO desire to 'control' you.

I do, however, want to 'control' myself -- specifically, I want to 'control' the level of emotional, financial, and physical investment that I choose to put into a relationship that is feeling both more lop-sided AND less transparent of late."

Then stand back and watch the gears start to turn in her head.

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Virginia: "Why can't you kids leave well enough alone? Everything was fine until you started digging around."

Burt: "You sound like a Scooby Doo villain."
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post #130 of 213 (permalink) Old 04-22-2016, 04:16 PM
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Re: Need some of that expert TAM wisdom

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Originally Posted by sideways View Post
Moonshadow, yes I do have her last iPhone, however I have no way of getting on her laptop as a code is needed. Is there a way around this?

S
Booting into a Linux-based "Live CD" environment would allow you to reset her password. That's probably a bad idea, though, as that would accomplish little more than raising suspicions.

You could instead reset (or, rather, erase) the local Administrator password, and then use that to log in, install a keylogger, and reconfigure any security software as needed.
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Virginia: "Why can't you kids leave well enough alone? Everything was fine until you started digging around."

Burt: "You sound like a Scooby Doo villain."
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post #131 of 213 (permalink) Old 04-22-2016, 04:31 PM
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Re: Need some of that expert TAM wisdom

It seems like communication between the op and his wife are sorely lacking. This is how couples drift apart.
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post #132 of 213 (permalink) Old 04-22-2016, 04:53 PM
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Re: Need some of that expert TAM wisdom

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Originally Posted by sideways View Post
Moonshadow, yes I do have her last iPhone, however I have no way of getting on her laptop as a code is needed. Is there a way around this?

S
Yeah.

Take the laptop from her, go to a computer specialist, and have him open it.
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post #133 of 213 (permalink) Old 04-22-2016, 07:58 PM
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Re: Need some of that expert TAM wisdom

Quote:
Originally Posted by sideways View Post
Moonshadow, yes I do have her last iPhone, however I have no way of getting on her laptop as a code is needed. Is there a way around this?

S
Yep @sideways , if you have physical access to her old iPhone, you can connect it up to your own computer & use Wonderhare Dr Fone for IOS which will extract the data from it. It offers an option to recover deleted messages too. Trial version will only recover some data, first 5 messages I think but you can try it first & then buy it if it doesn't give you enough.
Here's a YouTube link that shows you how it works:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0qsQZERGwVY

I got all I needed from it!
I'm sure other posters can help with this too. It's a few years since I used it.

"We just kissed".

Last edited by Moonshadow; 04-22-2016 at 08:03 PM.
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post #134 of 213 (permalink) Old 04-22-2016, 08:38 PM
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Re: Need some of that expert TAM wisdom

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First off get a GPS aa d put on her car.

Download MMSLP at link below or Amazon. Read the reviews at Amazon.
Spark Nano GPS Tracker | Spark Nano 4.0 | Spark Nano GPS Tracking Device | Personal GPS Tracker
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post #135 of 213 (permalink) Old 04-22-2016, 08:43 PM
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Re: Need some of that expert TAM wisdom

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Originally Posted by sideways View Post
Marduk, sounds good but
*She doesn't ask me where I go
*She doesn't tell me what to eat or drink
*she doesn't tell me what to wear
*she doesn't tell me who to talk to
* when I travel she doesn't ask me where I stay or where I'm going while there
*she doesn't tell me what I can spend money on
*I don't have a code on my computer
*I don't have a code on my cell
*I don't have a code on my iPad
*I'm not accountable to her where I've been during the day when I leave

We both basically do whatever we want.

Every time I try to talk to her about anything that's not sitting well with me she gets defensive. I'm now becoming "controlling".
Its time to put codes on your stuff. Don't be so transparent and easy to read. Ramp up some mystery.
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