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Been cheated on for last 1.5 years

107K views 258 replies 61 participants last post by  happyman64 
#1 ·
Hi,
So I just found out yesterday that my wife of 3 months, who I've been with for 7 years, has been cheating on me for 1.5 years. I can't even believe this is happening to me. We've been together since college and I've always loved her. I don't know what to do at this point? Is it even possible to move past this and save our marriage? I'm completely heart broken but I still do have feelings for her. We are going to go to a marriage councelor but I don't know how they can help me trust her again. She claims she wants to be with me and have a future with me but I can't even tell if shes lying anymore.
 
#117 ·
Just like addictions, one day at a time, stop repling to her text, it is so unhealthy for you.

Everytime you return her text you are back to day one in healing from this pain. You will find that the pain will fade eachday as you continue to stay away from her.

I want to stop drinking, but I keep having that one beer and it start all over again. Get it?

Move on, one day at a time, set a goal. As time passes the need to contact her will pass, but you must avoid her and her drama or you will never heal and this need for her won't go away.

So please emotional protect your self and stop returning her text.
 
#118 ·
Yea for sure. I know you guys are right. I don't trust myself to not respond to her text messages so I'm just gonna have her number blocked through AT&T. She's already ruined so many of my nights out with my friends, I can't let her do that anymore. Especially with the holidays coming up.
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#121 ·
Yea I have. She was served with annulment papers on November 1. So just gotta wait now until December 1 to do anything. Yea it was hard to talk to a lawyer but I can't wait till I'm officially annulled. I definitely wanna start the new year without her
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#122 ·
After wrestling with the decision for so long, I decided im gonna try to find out if anything happened with that other guy. Ive been bothered by just the fact that I don't know for so long that I figured it's best to find out for sure so I can put it behind me.... Let's see what happens...
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#135 ·
Oh, I was suspicious about another guy a few years ago and wanted to know if there was anything that happened between them too. One of my friends is very good friends with the guy that I was suspicious about so I had my friend call and try to find out if anything happened. He knows the guy really well and says that he has no doubt in his mind that nothing happened between him and my wife after talking to the guy. So yea, whatever, now I know atleast(assuming it's true) and can just put it all behind me. Still doesn't change what she is.
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#140 ·
The other day I drove by her apartment complex cuz I was in the area for work. Huge mistake. I've been in depression mode ever since. This is the longest that I haven't been able to shake feelings of sadness. Even tried to get myself mad all over again but doesn't seem to be working lol.
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#144 ·
Sounds like you want closure, for everyone to see what kind of tramp she is and that somehow this will make you feel better.

It won't, You won't get closure.

The best you really can do for you is to delete her from your life and mind.

Post her on the cheaters site so others can be warned if you really want to do something, but that's your choice and it may make the divorce even nastier.
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#150 ·
Then think of it another way.. She called last night, and reminded you that you made the right decision.

Consider getting a chart and each time she does this put a line on it.

When you get five - you get a night out with friends to blow off steam.

When you get 10 - you get to buy yourself a new toy.
 
#153 ·
She cheated before ,during and after getting married to you...
You are making the right decision by not going back...

What happened with her relationship with her OM...Did the karma catch them...???

And how is her relationship with her family after you exposed her cheating...?

I hope she had consequences for her actions...

Good Luck on rebuilding your life...
 
#157 ·
Her family will probably, eventually take her back. But she will always be looked on as a cheating skank. You know when you were young and there was that lady that everyone avoided, who always looked a little pained in company and never seemed to stay very long at family gatherings. She will take a date to one of these things, and he will witness her shunning and "bingo". That is the last she will see of him.

The fact is that you have no idea whether she wants to reconcile because if she can get you to take her back, maybe her family and your friends will. Tell her that you will throw her a bone by inviting her to some parties at your house, as your ex who you get along with famously. And she can see you investing your life in a new love. OUCH!
 
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