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Been cheated on for last 1.5 years

107K views 258 replies 61 participants last post by  happyman64 
#1 ·
Hi,
So I just found out yesterday that my wife of 3 months, who I've been with for 7 years, has been cheating on me for 1.5 years. I can't even believe this is happening to me. We've been together since college and I've always loved her. I don't know what to do at this point? Is it even possible to move past this and save our marriage? I'm completely heart broken but I still do have feelings for her. We are going to go to a marriage councelor but I don't know how they can help me trust her again. She claims she wants to be with me and have a future with me but I can't even tell if shes lying anymore.
 
#192 ·
Capital one said they are going to investigate and have her arrested. I'm definitely gonna get my credit checked. Yea she has my ssn memorized cuz she used to work for a bank. I never really worried about it cuz I didn't think she would stoop this low. But I need to lower my expectations about her lol
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#196 ·
What you need to do is make sure this never happens again by taking the step in making sure the consequences are sever enough that it stop for good.

Theres no guantee that it wont ...years from now, but i guess you will have to invest in some credit protection. But for now invest in some preventive maintenence by subjecting her to the ful amount of consequences available by law.
 
#198 ·
You want it on record ASAP what occurred with the attempted ID theft. You can check your credit reports for free from the three major credit bureaus at annualcreditreport.com. The site will also provide a way to freeze your credit reports so you must be contacted before a lender can access them. This helps if she tries to apply for credit somewhere else. This is a nonviolent crime with no monetary loss so expect it to be a fairly low priority with the police. Your filing reports have more to do with saving yourself headaches later if she is able to open accounts in your name and screw up your credit.
 
#212 ·
WTF, I can understand dropping the hammer, but you aren't even sure its her!
Get your sh!t straight and by all mean drop a ton of boo on her @ss if in deed she commited the crime.

I think all of us can learn a lesson here, these are not the same poeple we married............. be it newbie or folks coming to term with the unthinkable.......they are not the same poeple.
 
#213 ·
People say people don't change, maybe we just didn't see them as they really were. I do beleive if they mix with the wrong people they can get really screwed up though. I think that is what happens to many waywards, they just trade down and end up lowering themselves. From my experiences this usually turns out worse for women but I can't figure out why. Guilt?
 
#221 ·
Well, the credit card incident will show that you definitely mean business, so she probably now realizes that you have totally "iced" her out of your life.

When and if her new love life implodes, she knows that she can't come running to you.
 
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#222 ·
Oh, and BTW-the next time she tries to get a new credit card, car or house, they will look up her credit rating and most likely will see some reference to an investigation for possible fraud.

Her credit is sooooooo SCREWED!!!!!!
 
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#226 ·
Bet she'll be cheating on him in less than a year. Don't be surprised if they both end up on skid row
Hmmm don't think so. She has been faithfull to his MOM for years, she has the mindset of the classic OW more than a WGF/WW. IT seems she stayed being the OW once OP dumped her.
On the other hand MOM seems a hard core cake eater. He will replace the role of OW very soon (he will try even make his BW the OW). They never give up the cake on the side unless they are forced (his BW had enough and kicked him out). He will find himself ''empty'' very soon without cake.
 
#229 ·
I kinda agree with this. I think if she cheats on him, she'll be admitting that she made the worst mistake of her life. Right now she's probably in denial. I wouldn't be surprised at all if he cheats on her though. Just a matter of time really. The OMW is filing for divorce and suing for alimony and child support, so I'm sure he has a lot to look forward in coming years. He'll need some cake to help him cope with the stress.
 
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#236 ·
She never gave me a good answer. Cuz there really isn't a good answer. She said she got lost and couldn't help herself. And that after awhile, she justified it in her head so it didn't seem so wrong. The bottom line is that she had huge self esteem issues. She also had daddy issues. I tried to help her with both when we were together, but she chose to betray me instead.

The year before we got married, we lived about 2 hours apart and I only saw her once a week. Her and the OM probably saw each other the rest of the week lol. I read emails that hinted that they saw each other all the time.
 
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