Originally Posted by Almostrecovered
start doing damage control before she tries to rewrite history, expose her to everyone including her family
Male, 46, Indian, living for the past 2 years away from family which is in India. Visiting them once in three months. Wife is taking care of kids. Married for 16 years. Arranged marriage.
Three months ago, she confessed that she had an EA with a school mate. Her family members ended the affair and married her off to me. I did not know about the affair until her confession.
I also observed that she is a bit flirtatious to other younger men and gives them contact numbers (in my presence). Talked to an unmarried neighbor in whisper on her mobile. I could notice these two things apart from her non participative sex with me. She just engaged in sex as if nothing was happening.
I am very angry after knowing her EA, and feel used up. She says that if she had her way, she would have married the school mate. Recently, she told me that the school mate was smarter than me, and remembered his date of birth to me.
Denies any physical affair with the school mate.
Have lovely kids, and I don't want them to suffer for no fault of theirs. She has the fighting tendency with all the family members and there is no friend for her. I know that she is a caring person and very possessive. Gets angry very quickly and it is me and kids that bear the brunt.
Please help me by advising on:
1. How to get the truth if she had any physical affair with the school mate?
2. How to know if she has any affair with any other man? I am living in a foreign country.
3. How to make things better?
Lost 10 kilos in three months, not able to apply myself properly to work, feel very depressed and angry.
She confessed about the school mate only after a fight. She questioned me about all my friends and whatever is happening to me. I asked if you are asking questions about me, what I am doing here, tell me about your friends. In 16 years of married life, there was no mention at all.
She became angry and said if she told me about her friends I would not be able to bear and asked me to leave that subject for the good of both of us. Then I asked her what is that matter which I cannot bear.
That is how she came to confess about the EA.
Leaving that EA 16 years ago, why is she flirting with younger men? Why is she talking in whisper to my unmarried neighbor? These are the signs. Plus, there was no emotional union in the sex.
That is how I came to suspect. Is there a way to make her tell the truth?