I've been wrestling with a problem for awhile, and have been considering seeing a therapist to talk things over, but I thought I'd try a place like this first. I haven't talked about this with anyone at all, so excuse me if it's a little rambling.
My wife and I have been married for just over three years. She suffers from an anxiety/panic disorder where she will become very anxious and then get a panic attack with physical symptoms like hyperventilation, dizziness, etc. This has led to borderline agoraphobia. When it's bad, it's hard for her to leave the house. When it's not so bad, which is most of the time, she can go out on her own to familiar places like the store, the gym, etc. and we get to go on the occasional vacation. The relevant point is, she relies on me a lot, and she stays at home on the computer a lot and we don't have a lot of real-life friends.
During our marriage, there have been several times where she was unfaithful, at least by my standards (that has been a point of argument between us). Most of these have been "cybersex" or intimate phone call type situations, although once she was drunk and kissed an old friend of hers. Except for that, it has been people she meets online on Youtube, Tumblr, etc.
The pattern was she would engage in this behavior, then a day or two later feel guilty about it and tell me. I was hurt, she promised not to do it again, and I moved on because in the end, it wasn't really that big a deal. It did teach me to be wary of anyone she's texting constantly.
A couple of months ago, someone she met online who lives not too far away came up and visited her. She didn't want me to be around, she just went and had lunch with him and shopped or whatever and then he went home. I was extremely worried about what was going to happen, but nothing did happen, so great.
Recently, he visited again, and something did happen. She went and hung out at his hotel until about midnight, got drunk, and the next day told me about it. Surprisingly, I didn't have a lot of emotion over it like I usually do. I think I'm just used to it, and that is not where I want to be.
She told me that the experience made her realize how important our marriage was to her, that she would never do it again, and that she would never talk to the guy again. I looked at our cell phone bill today and she is still texting with him constantly.
So I'm torn now. On one level, it's obvious to me that I should leave her. I'm not happy, I can't take these constant little infidelities, and it's not the kind of marriage I want to have. Now she's talking about starting a family next year, and I can't imagine having kids with her anymore.
On the other hand, she almost completely relies on me for financial and emotional support. Even if we worked out some amount of financial support from me after a divorce, she doesn't think she's capable of living on her own anymore, and I don't know either.
My wife and I have been married for just over three years. She suffers from an anxiety/panic disorder where she will become very anxious and then get a panic attack with physical symptoms like hyperventilation, dizziness, etc. This has led to borderline agoraphobia. When it's bad, it's hard for her to leave the house. When it's not so bad, which is most of the time, she can go out on her own to familiar places like the store, the gym, etc. and we get to go on the occasional vacation. The relevant point is, she relies on me a lot, and she stays at home on the computer a lot and we don't have a lot of real-life friends.
During our marriage, there have been several times where she was unfaithful, at least by my standards (that has been a point of argument between us). Most of these have been "cybersex" or intimate phone call type situations, although once she was drunk and kissed an old friend of hers. Except for that, it has been people she meets online on Youtube, Tumblr, etc.
The pattern was she would engage in this behavior, then a day or two later feel guilty about it and tell me. I was hurt, she promised not to do it again, and I moved on because in the end, it wasn't really that big a deal. It did teach me to be wary of anyone she's texting constantly.
A couple of months ago, someone she met online who lives not too far away came up and visited her. She didn't want me to be around, she just went and had lunch with him and shopped or whatever and then he went home. I was extremely worried about what was going to happen, but nothing did happen, so great.
Recently, he visited again, and something did happen. She went and hung out at his hotel until about midnight, got drunk, and the next day told me about it. Surprisingly, I didn't have a lot of emotion over it like I usually do. I think I'm just used to it, and that is not where I want to be.
She told me that the experience made her realize how important our marriage was to her, that she would never do it again, and that she would never talk to the guy again. I looked at our cell phone bill today and she is still texting with him constantly.
So I'm torn now. On one level, it's obvious to me that I should leave her. I'm not happy, I can't take these constant little infidelities, and it's not the kind of marriage I want to have. Now she's talking about starting a family next year, and I can't imagine having kids with her anymore.
On the other hand, she almost completely relies on me for financial and emotional support. Even if we worked out some amount of financial support from me after a divorce, she doesn't think she's capable of living on her own anymore, and I don't know either.