Here's the thing about exposure: NEVER GIVE YOUR SPOUSE OR THE OTHER WOMAN/MAN WARNING THAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO EXPOSE. JUST DO IT!!!
Why?
Because that will give her and the OM time to get their stories straight/corroborate timelines and make YOU out to be the crazy/psycho husband who has trust issues and is going through a hard time in his marriage, therefore he suspects his wife is cheating on him and wants to lash out at everyone. They WILL do this if you keep giving them warnings. Oh and you bet she's told him already "My husband knows...if someone asks we can just say we're friends" and have already started planning and concocting their stupid excuses and lame cover up stories.
Find out who his wife is and exposes immediately:
"OM's Wife,
Your husband, Name, has been having an affair with my Wife's Name since on or about Month/Year. I discovered the affair by way of (fill in the blank). (Copy/paste or verbalize any proof you have). Their affair has been detrimental to my marriage. My wife told me the affair ended however I have proof contradicts that--they are still having an affair and in contact. I am telling you this because you deserve to know the truth. If you were already aware of the affair, then I am sure that this comes as no surprise to you, but if not, I am sorry to have to be the one to inform you. If you want to talk further or need further proof, you may contact me (at....fill in the blank).
Your Name"
THIS IS HOW YOU DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
F them! And no, your wife doesn't sound like he wants to work it out with you if she's still lying to you. So expose her for the liar she is without telling her or OM. And in the interim, tell her "I am aware you are lying to me and still in contact with the OM. You need to leave today because I refuse to live in an open marriage. I refuse to be treated so callously and be lied to and I will not tolerate this nonsense and your betrayals anymore. Get the f*ck out, homes!"
Remove yourself as an option for her. She will not feel any consequences as long as you're covering up the affair and allowing him to stay in the house/carry on as a married man with all the benefits of a committed relationship. She is not committed to your marriage, therefore you do not need to reward her with the same generosity and pat her on the back and feel fearful when she is the one making these d!ck moves. Tell her where to go.
Oh and a word of advice: NO marriage counselling as long as she's having an affair. MC does nothing as long as one partner is still lying/having an affair.
Burnt is holding a lot of things very close to the vest here. Not sure why. We are here to help. We really don't have a lot of info. Burnt is saying we are all speculating. That's because he's only selectively answered a few of the questions that have been asked, and not expanded on anything. Burnt, if you want real help here, you have to give us more, in truth form, just facts, not jaded by what you feel or what you think we are going to say about you. That's why this is an anonymous forum. Nobody's holding you accountable for anything. If we had more details, maybe you would like the advice better.
Dude, trust me on something. I came on here back in May just like you when I saw an email from my W to her OM friend. I never thought certain things were happening. Not all the advice here applied to my situation either, but enough of it really did.
Burnt is holding a lot of things very close to the vest here. Not sure why. We are here to help. We really don't have a lot of info. Burnt is saying we are all speculating. That's because he's only selectively answered a few of the questions that have been asked, and not expanded on anything. Burnt, if you want real help here, you have to give us more, in truth form, just facts, not jaded by what you feel or what you think we are going to say about you. That's why this is an anonymous forum. Nobody's holding you accountable for anything. If we had more details, maybe you would like the advice better.
Dude, trust me on something. I came on here back in May just like you when I saw an email from my W to her OM friend. I never thought certain things were happening. Not all the advice here applied to my situation either, but enough of it really did.
Yes, we are left to do a lot of speculating as there is not a whole lot of information. From what is given there is a serious issue to deal with however.
I have noticed this once before, but thought nothing of it because we are such a close knit group of friends (closer than I had thought mind you)
He reached out to me first thing the next morning and wanted to come over immediately to 'clear the air' and talk through it. I told him I couldn't deal with him that day as my emotions were too high and just wasn't thinking very clear (no sleep).
He called the next morning and apologized, said nothing was meant by it, he didn't remember (there was alot of alcohol consumed that night).
Doesn't matter. This man should never be allowed into your circle again. There has to be NO-Contact ever. The "I was drunk" excuse only works when your in high school and even then it's shaky at best.
She has to show real remorse before you make a move forward. Since this is so fresh, I suggest you just take in all in...and chill. Take care of yourself. Take it one day at a time.
I realize that I am late to the party...this forum gets a lot of attention...great people here with great advice...so if I am repeating whats already been said I apologize.
People Leave the guy alone ,sadly he will be back...
And regreting for not listening .
For him to listen he would need to acknowledge that the world as he has know it is over. That is hard to do, so he wants to believe his wife and let her rug sweep. He sounds like a decent guy. He has done nothing wrong so it would be unfair for it to be true. Unfortunately life is sometimes not fair.
burnt, I wish and hope that we are not right. I really do. Be well and good luck to you.
Doesn't matter. This man should never be allowed into your circle again. There has to be NO-Contact ever. The "I was drunk" excuse only works when your in high school and even then it's shaky at best.
She has to show real remorse before you make a move forward. Since this is so fresh, I suggest you just take in all in...and chill. Take care of yourself. Take it one day at a time.
I realize that I am late to the party...this forum gets a lot of attention...great people here with great advice...so if I am repeating whats already been said I apologize.
Close knit group .... then goes on to say that this is a guy who has a vacation home a few doors down. That infers the opposite of close knit. So which is it with this guy? Close knit or vacation home stranger?
I observed my wife being extra attentive to one of my friends And then this I looked outside and saw both of them kissing/groping each other And then this
my heart tells me this is the first time they have done this, perhaps some harmless flirting (with words) did take place prior but again, my gut tells me this was the first time. Really?
And then this
friend is married, but going through initial stages of divorce.
Hmm thats odd.
And finally this
I asked her that today and she said "see, I knew all along". In other words she has always suspected me as being unfaithful.Strange why would she say that..
you still don't see a pattern here?? Do you?
Oh almost forgot, this is priceless
He called the next morning and apologized, said nothing was meant by it, he didn't remember (there was alot of alcohol consumed that night).
For him to listen he would need to acknowledge that the world as he has know it is over. That is hard to do, so he wants to believe his wife and let her rug sweep. He sounds like a decent guy. He has done nothing wrong so it would be unfair for it to be true. Unfortunately life is sometimes not fair.
burnt, I wish and hope that we are not right. I really do. Be well and good luck to you.
Look so do i. I truly hope that for his sake that we all
are wrong.BUt sadly we are most are not
Re: Saw Wife Cheating with my friend 
