Fiance texting and sending topless pics to another man
My fiance and I are both around 40 years old. She has been married before but is now divorced and I have never been married. She was married for six years - horrible marriage where she in her own words "settled" for a guy that would be a good provider for her and her son from another relationship.
While she was married, she began a flirtatious relationship with a man who worked in the same building she did. They would go for lunch and he would always steer the conversation towards sex. This went on for many years. Eventually, she agreed to take their relationship to the next level and had this man over to her house while her then husband was out of town. She said she regretted it and only had one sexual encounter with this work guy. She did continue to sext him and have lunch with him but said there was no more physical contact.
Now I never learned of any of this until we were together for 18 months. She told me about this guy at work and at first, never told me anything about their relationship but described him as an "aggressive flirt". I told her I didn't feel comfortable with her going for lunch with this guy if all he wanted to was talk about sex. She said she wasn't doing that anymore and wasn't in contact with him and that was the end of the story.
Well I found out recently that she has been sexting with this guy and sending him pics of herself topless while she was with me in what I thought was a committed relationship. She told me it stopped 6 months ago and that she made a mistake and won't do it again but now, I just don't know what to think. She lied, my trust is gone and I have called off the wedding. She says I am overreacting.
What do you think? I am I making too much of this? I do care about her but this seems really deceitful and messed up!
Re: Fiance texting and sending topless pics to another man
Nope you are not over reacting. At a minimum you're right to call off the wedding and regroup. Sounds like you're about to inherit her Ex H's problems. I think you need to be prepared to live with this guy as a factor in the relationship if you continue with her.
Leave the wedding on hold until you sort it out either way.
Re: Fiance texting and sending topless pics to another man
What do I think?
I think that if you are still considering marrying this woman at all, you need intensive individual counseling to work on your self esteem and to figure out if you have any masochistic tendencies.
Are you making too much of this?
No, you seem to have figured out everything except why you are still speaking to her or having any contact with her at all.
Look, man. She cheated on her previous husband with this guy. She flat out told you she "settled" for her previous husband. I bet she didn't tell HIM she was "settling." And I'll bet she would never tell YOU she is "settling."
For whatever reason, she is sexting with her work bozo. Maybe they haven't had a real relationship because he is married or something, and she hopes to lure him away.
Any time you spend analyzing this thing is time wasted. If she was crazy in love with you, she wouldn't be doing what she is doing. And if she's doing it now, do you think things will magically get better when you put a ring on her?
So we can figure right off the bat that she don't love you. Are you willing to "settle" yourself, for being married to a woman who doesn't love you?
Spare yourself the drama, self-doubt, and bull****. Find a woman who likes you so much that she doesn't send pictures of her tits to other men.
Re: Fiance texting and sending topless pics to another man
Quote:
Originally Posted by NotLikeYou
What do I think?
I think that if you are still considering marrying this woman at all, you need intensive individual counseling to work on your self esteem and to figure out if you have any masochistic tendencies.
Are you making too much of this?
No, you seem to have figured out everything except why you are still speaking to her or having any contact with her at all.
Look, man. She cheated on her previous husband with this guy. She flat out told you she "settled" for her previous husband. I bet she didn't tell HIM she was "settling." And I'll bet she would never tell YOU she is "settling."
For whatever reason, she is sexting with her work bozo. Maybe they haven't had a real relationship because he is married or something, and she hopes to lure him away.
Any time you spend analyzing this thing is time wasted. If she was crazy in love with you, she wouldn't be doing what she is doing. And if she's doing it now, do you think things will magically get better when you put a ring on her?
So we can figure right off the bat that she don't love you. Are you willing to "settle" yourself, for being married to a woman who doesn't love you?
Spare yourself the drama, self-doubt, and bull****. Find a woman who likes you so much that she doesn't send pictures of her tits to other men.
Re: Fiance texting and sending topless pics to another man
I think you have seen her true colors. She found she could have attention on side, and she decided to have you and him. Who really knows if it was really one time or not. She clearly has no problem compartmentalizing the truth.
She's been living the life of selfish me person for so long she no longer has a moral compass that points true. If at 40 she doesn't get it, she never will.
Re: Fiance texting and sending topless pics to another man
Run do not walk away. She is a user, a cheater and a liar. She had no problem in having him come to her married home and have sex with her while her husband was away. I guarantee you that it happened more than once because she continued to sextexting him.
She lies to your face and continues to see and sex text him while in a committed relationship to you. I would not believe anything she says. She is in damage control and desperately wants to marry you to help pay the bills. This is just a tip of the iceberg. You would be an idiot to stay with her and a moron to marry her.
Re: Fiance texting and sending topless pics to another man
she cheated on her prior hubby with this guy, and now you. Come on...are you seriously wondering what to do? And the fact that she says you are overreacting shows how much she does not get it and will never get it.
She is a serial cheater. Fool me once, shame on you...fool me twice shame on me. She fooled you once (and previously hubby too)...you don't want a life with this woman. She has no morals and no respect for you or respect for a committed relationship.
Re: Fiance texting and sending topless pics to another man
You are in a prime position. You discovered this BEFORE you got married.
Walk away, don't look back, and don't answer to any begging or pleading.
Find someone who treats you the way you DESERVE to be treated and don't listen to any crap about how 'it's nothing' etc....
Run rabbit, run.
Please.
We don't want you to come back on here in a year or two (or sooner!) wishing that you'd listened to us earlier.
LISTEN TO US NOW
Read through the entire forum if needs be - her actions are repeated by many, many waywards on here.
We don't want to see you back here - and I mean that in a nice way.
Re: Fiance texting and sending topless pics to another man
I know many of you think I am crazy but when you really care for someone and they rip your heart out, it isn't always possible to think logically. I guess I needed the reality check.
Re: Fiance texting and sending topless pics to another man
Quote:
Originally Posted by Needingsomeadvice
I know many of you think I am crazy but when you really care for someone and they rip your heart out, it isn't always possible to think logically. I guess I needed the reality check.
Don't think you are crazy at all. Most of us have been though this.
Re: Fiance texting and sending topless pics to another man
If you need further proof of her lies, check the phone bills from 6 months on. If she's telling the truth, and you are still really interested in being with her, you have lots of work to do to create an environment that will remove her temptation. Your distrust will likely always remain regardless of your decision.
Fiance texting and sending topless pics to another man 
