Oh no.... now what?

HerToo · 10-20-2011, 10:47 AM

I'm sorry.

Keep talking. You both need to. Get the all of the facts.

It's still early to think about this, but if you are willing to give him a chance, he has lots to do.

Almostrecovered · 10-20-2011, 10:47 AM

do however get the OW's info and expose her to her husband if it applies- he has a right to know

Enchantment · 10-20-2011, 10:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lisa3girls

I guess I need a lawyer. He just admitted it. OMG, OMG OMG OMG

I'm so sorry.

Do you have any trusted friends/family close by that you can talk to right now? Someone close that can help support you?

Did he admit to EA or PA? Make a doctor's appointment too to get checked for STDs. I know that sounds awful to contemplate, but you have 3 girls, you are the primary breadwinner in your family, do what you must to protect yourself and your girls.

I'll be praying for you.

Almostrecovered · 10-20-2011, 10:49 AM

I should also point out that like you I was all set to get a D, somehow I found it in me to R, you can read my story if youd like (when youre ready) but it really depends on your husband's willingness to do the right things and if that's the case we can point that out to you

lisa3girls · 10-20-2011, 10:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hope1964

My hubby also admitted it when I confronted him. I was also FURIOUS with him. I kicked his ass out that very day. A year and a half later we are reconciling and doing really well.

Do not make any decisions right now. Your emotions are in charge and it isn't a good time. Give yourself at least a couple of months. Go see a counselor. Get yourself STD tested. Get him out of your face and do things for you (I cleaned my bedroom from top to bottom and rearranged everything - it was very cathartic)

Rant at him. Let him know what a scumbag he is. Write him nasty letters. Make him buy you stuff (I got a new computer and a plane ticket for a girls weekend).

I cannot imagine how right now. I just cannot.

lisa3girls · 10-20-2011, 10:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Enchantment

I'm so sorry.

Do you have any trusted friends/family close by that you can talk to right now? Someone close that can help support you?

Did he admit to EA or PA? If a PA, make a doctor's appointment too. I know that sounds awful to contemplate, but you have 3 girls, you are the primary breadwinner in your family, do what you must to protect yourself and your girls.

I'll be praying for you.

He didn't really say... he just said he guesses he is moving out. OMG, what about my daughters.

Almostrecovered · 10-20-2011, 10:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lisa3girls

I cannot imagine how right now. I just cannot.

and that's fine - we all have our own tolerences

Hope1964 · 10-20-2011, 10:51 AM

Even if he only admitted to an EA I would still get tested. Guaranteed there'll be more to come out - trickle truth is the norm, not the exception.

I am so sorry this is happening to you. I know exactly how you feel

CandieGirl · 10-20-2011, 10:52 AM

Scumbag.

Hope1964 · 10-20-2011, 10:53 AM

I couldn't either. The sight of him made my skin crawl. I wanted to hit him and hit him and just keep on hitting him. The sound of his voice made me want to stick a fork down his throat.

Right now you just need to take care of YOU. Your kids will be fine - really they will. You don't need to make any decisions about them today. Just breathe.

HerToo · 10-20-2011, 10:57 AM

Did he say why he's moving out? Is it because he expects to be kicked to the curb?

Almostrecovered · 10-20-2011, 10:57 AM

to reiterate the things you need to do now-

1) get a lawyer
2) make a doctor's appointment for std testing and to consider antianxiety meds or antidepressants, this will be one of the most stressful times of your life and there is no shame in doing as such
3) get OW's info and expose the affair to her husband

Enchantment · 10-20-2011, 10:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lisa3girls

He didn't really say... he just said he guesses he is moving out. OMG, what about my daughters.

Okay. They are why you need to try and keep your head together.

I know you are shell-shocked. Anyone would be. It is going to be a roller-coaster of emotions.

Are you at work right now? Can you get away for a little bit - go out and take a walk. Try to clear your head for a bit so you can decide what to do next (and Almostrecovered's list is a good place to start.)

God Bless.

Almostrecovered · 10-20-2011, 11:00 AM

taking a few personal days off from work would be a good idea, just tell the boss your situation, you'd be surprised how understanding most employers are with this

Hope1964 · 10-20-2011, 11:03 AM

I would add get some IC to that list as well. I never felt the need for a lawyer right away although if you think things could get messy with him then that is a good idea.

How old are your girls?