I think I have lost my mind m
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Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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Old 10-20-2011, 06:35 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default I think I have lost my mind m

I just texted the OW to stop texting my husband. I told her he shouldn't let his mid life crisis dictate the fate of his family including THREE children. I can see that she has been texting him over and over but he doesn't seem to be responding. I have no idea where he is. I told him to get the **** out.
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Old 10-20-2011, 06:45 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: I think I have lost my mind m

I don't understand. You are fighting for him by texting the OW, and telling him to get out? And now you are worried about where he is?

He's probably so confused that he's hiding from both of you. He can't come home, and he can't go see her since you texted her. If you don't care about him, let it go. If you do care and hope to work it out, invite him home. Send the girls off with relatives.

I'm sorry this is happening to your marriage.
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Old 10-21-2011, 06:48 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: I think I have lost my mind m

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I don't understand. You are fighting for him by texting the OW, and telling him to get out? And now you are worried about where he is?

He's probably so confused that he's hiding from both of you. He can't come home, and he can't go see her since you texted her. If you don't care about him, let it go. If you do care and hope to work it out, invite him home. Send the girls off with relatives.

I'm sorry this is happening to your marriage.
I don't know what I want honestly... and I don't think he should expect me to.. and I really don't care if he feels in the middle and nowhere to go, he made his bed. I have nobody and nowhere to send the girls... we have had virtually no help and support our entire marriage.
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Old 10-21-2011, 07:25 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: I think I have lost my mind m

Don't text her again.

As for him--when did he leave?
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Old 10-21-2011, 07:28 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: I think I have lost my mind m

be prepared for the following in the next few weeks-

major depression/crying bouts/breakdowns that come from little triggers
rapid weight loss/loss of appetite
lack of sleep/insomnia/nightmares
possible bouts of nausea/diarrhea
waves of anxiety/panic attacks
possible suicidal thoughts (if this happens immediately get medical help)
lots of fantasizing of either violent events of your husband or OW or both or revenge tactics
lack of ability to concentrate or focus (be very careful while driving, I almost got into a big accident the day after dday)
forgetting appointments or events
physical shaking is possible as well
immune system getting suppressed and picking up nasty cold or flu


iow- lots of fun


this is why I often stress to make a doctor's appoint post dday, this is one of the most stressful events of your life and it effects you physically. There is no shame in getting anti-depressants or anti-anxiety pills for a period of time.
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Old 10-21-2011, 07:33 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: I think I have lost my mind m

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Don't text her again.

As for him--when did he leave?
Yesterday, before the kids came home from school. I feel like my life is over. I don't think I slept a solid 2 hours last night and neither did my poor teenage daughter. What a selfish prick.
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Old 10-21-2011, 07:35 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: I think I have lost my mind m

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Originally Posted by Almostrecovered View Post
be prepared for the following in the next few weeks-

major depression/crying bouts/breakdowns that come from little triggers
rapid weight loss/loss of appetite
lack of sleep/insomnia/nightmares
possible bouts of nausea/diarrhea
waves of anxiety/panic attacks
possible suicidal thoughts (if this happens immediately get medical help)
lots of fantasizing of either violent events of your husband or OW or both or revenge tactics
lack of ability to concentrate or focus (be very careful while driving, I almost got into a big accident the day after dday)
forgetting appointments or events
physical shaking is possible as well
immune system getting suppressed and picking up nasty cold or flu


iow- lots of fun


this is why I often stress to make a doctor's appoint post dday, this is one of the most stressful events of your life and it effects you physically. There is no shame in getting anti-depressants or anti-anxiety pills for a period of time.

Maybe I will.. I thought about drinking myself stupid last night, but the girls need me. And honestly, right now I need them... it isn't fair but I do. They are going to a sleepover birthday tomorrow night and I wish they were staying.. .I feel so weak

Last edited by lisa3girls; 10-21-2011 at 08:04 AM.
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Old 10-21-2011, 07:36 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: I think I have lost my mind m

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Yesterday, before the kids came home from school. I feel like my life is over. I don't think I slept a solid 2 hours last night and neither did my poor teenage daughter. What a selfish prick.
Did he move his stuff out or just leave for the night?

Your life is NOT over. In fact, a new chapter has just begun.

Don't "drink yourself stupid." That solves nothing. Your girls need you to be their rock right now. You need to be your own rock right now.

I posted in your other thread, too.
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Old 10-21-2011, 07:49 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: I think I have lost my mind m

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Maybe I will.. I thought about drinking myself stupid last night, but the girls need me. And honestly, right now I need them... it isn't fair but I do. They are going to a sleepover birthday tomorrow night and I wish they were staying.. .I feel so weak
an empty house is bad, do you have a friend or parent you can stay with?

also I think you accidentally cut and pasted some of your work email, you should go back and delete that part
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Old 10-21-2011, 10:03 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: I think I have lost my mind m

I agree. Being in an empty house is not a good thing.

But at the same time, you could ask your H over to have that long painful talk since the girls will be out of the house. Just a thought.
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Old 10-21-2011, 10:13 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: I think I have lost my mind m

I disagree on the empty house. She needs clarity. And it's a big reminder to her of what a d!ck her husband is being. Get out, get some sunlight and start rearranging things in your house, dear. You don't need this BS in your life.
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Old 10-21-2011, 10:37 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: I think I have lost my mind m

I think I am going to get a new cat... I always wanted a cat, but I couldn't have one because he was such a **** about it.
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Old 10-21-2011, 10:38 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: I think I have lost my mind m

There you go!
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Old 10-21-2011, 12:20 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: I think I have lost my mind m

please name the cat JellyBeans
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Old 10-21-2011, 12:29 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: I think I have lost my mind m

get the cat with the girls-----FUN
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