I want my husband to move out. Back story, he cheated with my sister in law about going on 4 years ago. I'm having problem moving on from this and trusting him. When I found out, He asked for forgiveness and came clean that was not his only transgression. It seemed he cheated with an girlfriend also. He was afraid that the sister in law would tell me this since he told her but never told me. He admitted that his relationship with the sister in law was never sexual but I don't believe him because how I found out and at the time I checked his work email and found that he had been looking at hotel.com. When I questioned him, he stated that he was going to surprise me with a trip and the sister in law was helping him. I know my husband and he had never had the desire to plan anything during our relationship and he's not that stupid that he'll need help booking a trip.
I feel that I forgave him too soon. I wanted to go to marriage counseling but he didn't so I went into counseling on my own for 4 months.
I'm the type of person whose love language is physical touch and his is act of service. He doesn't show me any type of affection outside the bedroom and I have brought this to his attention before and he is aware that I need this kind of intimacy and when I've bring it out in the past he had made the effort. Likewise, I make sure that I keep the house clean, make dinner every night, take care of the kids. We sleep in separate bedrooms ever since we had kids because the kids slept with us. Now, my ten year old is still sleeping with me and I have been trying to transition him into his own room. When he cheated and the pastor suggest that I write him a letter indicating what I needed from him one of the request was that we share the same bed on his off days because he wakes up at 4 in the morning for work and he had complained he wouldn't be able to get much sleep when he has to work. I capitulated to this request and it didn't work as he still didn't share a bed even on his off days.
Yesterday, I asked him how he thinks our marriage is doing and he said its going fine and if nothing ever changes it would be okay with him. I told him that its not fine for me and that I was unhappy. I was doing some snooping into his ipad and found out he still had the sister in law email information. I had noticed how nervous he looked when I was looking at the ipad and how he kept asking me if I was okay after I put the ipad down. I'm having these anxiety attacks and feeling as if he didn't stop his interaction with her and that they just went underground. I have no definite proof of this.
When I told him that I wasn't happy and that I needed more intimacy with him, he blew up and told me can we not talk about this since it was his birthday. I was dumbfounded. I really don't think that he loves me any more but that he is just staying because of what society deems appropriate for what a husband/father would do.
I want him to move out. I'm tired of second guessing his feelings for me. He was having a relationship with my sister in law that went on for months and they didn't stop because they knew it was wrong but they supposedly stop because they found out. I also found out that he has an account on google "hangout" app and found out that through that app you can make phone calls to other people without leaving a record. When I questioned him about that he states he doesn't use it but I was able to send him a request since he has an account with them.
He was suppose to be transparent in his email and found out that he has an icloud email account and I don't have that password nor do I have his password to his work email. He no longer keeps his phone lock so I've been able to go through it and found nothing.
Sorry this is so long, I'm just so frustrated by his lack of concern. Love shouldn't hurt this much.
I feel that I forgave him too soon. I wanted to go to marriage counseling but he didn't so I went into counseling on my own for 4 months.
I'm the type of person whose love language is physical touch and his is act of service. He doesn't show me any type of affection outside the bedroom and I have brought this to his attention before and he is aware that I need this kind of intimacy and when I've bring it out in the past he had made the effort. Likewise, I make sure that I keep the house clean, make dinner every night, take care of the kids. We sleep in separate bedrooms ever since we had kids because the kids slept with us. Now, my ten year old is still sleeping with me and I have been trying to transition him into his own room. When he cheated and the pastor suggest that I write him a letter indicating what I needed from him one of the request was that we share the same bed on his off days because he wakes up at 4 in the morning for work and he had complained he wouldn't be able to get much sleep when he has to work. I capitulated to this request and it didn't work as he still didn't share a bed even on his off days.
Yesterday, I asked him how he thinks our marriage is doing and he said its going fine and if nothing ever changes it would be okay with him. I told him that its not fine for me and that I was unhappy. I was doing some snooping into his ipad and found out he still had the sister in law email information. I had noticed how nervous he looked when I was looking at the ipad and how he kept asking me if I was okay after I put the ipad down. I'm having these anxiety attacks and feeling as if he didn't stop his interaction with her and that they just went underground. I have no definite proof of this.
When I told him that I wasn't happy and that I needed more intimacy with him, he blew up and told me can we not talk about this since it was his birthday. I was dumbfounded. I really don't think that he loves me any more but that he is just staying because of what society deems appropriate for what a husband/father would do.
I want him to move out. I'm tired of second guessing his feelings for me. He was having a relationship with my sister in law that went on for months and they didn't stop because they knew it was wrong but they supposedly stop because they found out. I also found out that he has an account on google "hangout" app and found out that through that app you can make phone calls to other people without leaving a record. When I questioned him about that he states he doesn't use it but I was able to send him a request since he has an account with them.
He was suppose to be transparent in his email and found out that he has an icloud email account and I don't have that password nor do I have his password to his work email. He no longer keeps his phone lock so I've been able to go through it and found nothing.
Sorry this is so long, I'm just so frustrated by his lack of concern. Love shouldn't hurt this much.