10-23-2011, 11:20 PM
Join Date: Oct 2011
| | A guy/girlfriend Long Distance
I have recently ran into a unpleasant situation with my girlfriend. She has told me today, that she has interests in another guy and doesn't know what to do.
I will give you a brief summary about us.
We are in a long distance relationship.. and I mean looonng. I am currently living in Argentina.
Here's the thing. We have only been dating for 8 months. Three of them have now been long distance. I know its a very young relationship and we both decided we were not going to do long distance. But when I left.. things got complicated, we both fell in love with each other and decided to try it out.
I moved down here for work. This is kind of ironic.. but I moved down here because my girlfriend really pushed me to come down here. She is very well traveled and I am not. I have always wanted a full immersion experience and to start my career but I never wanted to leave her. With that said, we have been doing long distance. We have been apart for almost three months and I am coming home in one week. I told her that I tried out the experience and its not right for me. I also told her that I love her too much and feel that our relationship is important to me and its suffered enough by just being apart from one another and missing each other for so long. Her response, "Good, I wanted to beg for you to come back, but I told myself to be strong."
Before the distance, our relationship had been entirely wonderful. We get along very well and are very honest with one another. We both have dated a lot of people and find our relationship to be very unique and full filing both emotionally and physically. Before I left our city, everything was perfect.
Long distance has been a terrible mistress. I have had to fight to keep our relationship together and I have even put my two weeks notice in to stop the beginning of my career so I can come back and make things right.
Two weeks ago, she broke the news to me that guys at her work are starting to ask her out and she has been turning them down. Playing the non-jealous card, I brushed it off and played it cool. Telling her that I don't blame them. I would be doing the same.
I had told her that I am coming home to stop the long distance and I want to start my career close to her. Now with one week left before I come home, she has told me that she is interested in another guy and doesn't know what to do. She feels that our relationship had moved too fast for jumping into long distance. But she said she still cares for me and feels that since before I left, our relationship was amazing and worth holding on to.
I told her that we both decided to do the distance and I am now coming back home to close the separation gap. Frustrated about her choices.. I told her to please take some time for me. I told her that we should have this conversation in person, to wait until I come home. I had also asked for her to not meet with this guy she is interested in until after I get home. So we can figure us out. She agreed and felt like it would be a good idea.
I am hoping that when I get back she will see me again and these feelings for this other guy will devolve. I even made her laugh a few times throughout our conversation and I could see that she was pretty emotionally torn by my calm and accepting approach.
I told her that I have been in the same situation before in the past and I know what she is feeling. I had done the same thing to someone else but my partner at the time did not want to make a change to save the relationship.
What I am asking for is this. If you have tried hard to keep someone doing long distance and you have even gone as far as ending your job to come home to them.. and they say, "I am so happy you are coming home," and then a week later they say. I am interested in someone else and "I don't know what to do?"
What should I do? I feel that long distance is the problem. But is it?
I have confidence in who I am and I know if I was there, she would not be looking else where.
Having one week left before coming home after three months. I still love her and know I want to have a fulfilling long term relationship with her. I know she is hurting physically and emotionally because of the distance. But now with this complication, I am left with many questions.
The most important is should I give her time and wait for her?