Re: Tip for the recently betrayed- see your doctor
I decided, after I found out the full extent of what was going on, that I had to get healthier whether I was going to be married or not at the end of the day. I decided to go to the doctor before confronting my ws to get a jump on that. Wound up catching a cancer tumor in my bladder within a few weeks of testing.
I also lost about 25 lbs in the first week, and another 15 the next. Didn't really eat for about a week. Dropped down to 3 to 4 hours of sleep a night.
The best thing though was my thinking cleared right up. I knew exactly what to do to save my marriage (or at least give it the very best fighting chance before my anger kicked in months later).
When I did finally start to get angry, it was really rough for a while. The anger would bleed over into other areas of life, road rage, being short tempered at work, etc. Thankfully I managed to hold it all together for long enough to get past that stage without doing anything drastically stupid, though I did get a couple speeding tickets.