Endless Text Messaging - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 23 (permalink) Old 10-26-2011, 04:40 PM Thread Starter
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Endless Text Messaging

If your wife is endlessly text messaging another guy throughout the day and throughout the night including weekends the we're just friends excuse should be stopped dead before the words even finish leaving her mouth. I knew right away and emotional affair had taken place and I should've gave my wife two choices right then and there. We either work on fixing this marriage together or you can leave. The fact that we entered counseling with this issue unresolved has caused much more harm than good.

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post #2 of 23 (permalink) Old 10-26-2011, 06:05 PM
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Re: Endless Text Messaging

Makingsense- I was in the same boat. STBXH texted a tramp that he knew from high school and at first I thought it was just jokes and links back and forth. This girl was bar trash and everyone knew her around town as a big drunk with 4 DUIs. The amount of texting became obsessive. He would disappear for hours in the office or bathroom. Hid or slept on his phone. I asked him to stop, I called her and told her to stop. Neither did. I called Verizon and had all her phone numbers blocked from our account. H went ballistic. The texting amount was about 4000 a month. Tried counseling but he lied to counselor.

Kicked him out the day I found emails coming in. He said something smart when leaving the house, "You are a MENTAL CASE and obsessed with my whereabouts and are constantly looking at my phone". I got so mad, I grabbed his cell phone and threw it into our 8 ft pool. Looked right out him and said, "I guess I am cured now... I don't need to look at your phone any longer. Now get the f*ck out". I walked outside to the driveway and waited for him to leave.

Laughed when he came out to the driveway with wet phone dripping and his shirt all wet. Great last image for a 15 year marriage!
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post #3 of 23 (permalink) Old 10-26-2011, 07:21 PM
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Re: Endless Text Messaging

i dont understadn either. Frustrated Florida what happen. First of all, I believe a wife should be loyal and respect the man as the woman should be taken as a mate and respected and treeated fairly adn well, the better the more good i hope will happen. but you know, if she's upset that her hubby went out of his to stop her from doing osmething that seems immoraly correct or unethical, as a wife she should respect her husband and continue to listen to him and stop doing that, and that man should stop texting her too after the first talk. if he continues and she continue, i see nothing wrong with what this Husband did for breaking her phone. Maybe he should just leave if he's not satisfied with his wife. i don't mean have an affair but God willing all people can change and do great things, for 1 thing that is look down on on ur spouse, you should see one thign that is good and understand no on eis perfect but Gdo willing can be balanced between rightiousness and goodness god willing. Asalaam ISlam klol Peace!Lol:!)
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post #4 of 23 (permalink) Old 10-26-2011, 07:44 PM
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Re: Endless Text Messaging

I was incredulous about the sheer volume of texts that were going on. What? Are these folks in Highschool? My God, it is sad how arrested they are.
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post #5 of 23 (permalink) Old 10-26-2011, 07:52 PM
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Re: Endless Text Messaging

I put up with this for two long years. My stbxw texts about 6000+ times a month. She usually has a guy-du-jour that she texts about 200 times a day. She took two of the kids out of town for the weekend and on their 6 hour drive shevtexted about 100 times while driving.
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post #6 of 23 (permalink) Old 10-26-2011, 07:53 PM
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Re: Endless Text Messaging

Ello1012 - Sorry I have no clue what your post means??
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post #7 of 23 (permalink) Old 10-26-2011, 09:23 PM
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Re: Endless Text Messaging

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Originally Posted by FrustratedFL View Post
Ello1012 - Sorry I have no clue what your post means??
"something something something Islam."


Real women don't want flowers and chocolate.
They want vodka and Taco Bell.
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post #8 of 23 (permalink) Old 10-27-2011, 12:25 AM
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Re: Endless Text Messaging

My ex did the exact same thing...texting " friends " the first was a yr long EA that turned PA...then another guy came into the mix and she is now living with this "friend " For awhile she had both those two and me in the mix....ugh I cant believe how much I have let her effect my life the last year
oh and its all my fault too...
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post #9 of 23 (permalink) Old 10-27-2011, 12:57 AM
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Re: Endless Text Messaging

I hear you there I have been married to a man for 7 years and his ex came back into the picture and he texts her 3-4 times an hour from the time he wakes to the time he goes to bed. When I ask him what its about he says nothing but yet he hides his phone. And acts guilty. So tonight we had a huge blowout and he said that he was never gonna text her again and so he text her and said to her that his wife said he could never talk or text her again so now he is making me to be the bad guy and is mad at me now. So now i dont know what to do, I am thinking of leaving him but not sure how to approach it.
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post #10 of 23 (permalink) Old 10-27-2011, 08:27 AM
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Re: Endless Text Messaging

When my STBXH went missing alot and always had his cell phone by his side, (unless I was texting or calling him...) my sister told me to check the cell phone bills. She had gone through a messy divorce with a husband of 21 years cheating.

Well, I took her advice and was knocked over by the amount of texting and phone calls. Soon I was tracing dates back to family parties when he never showed saying he was "working". Vacations when he was texting his tramp. Holidays where he would go missing for hours.

It is mind boggling when you see everything in black and white.

My saga ends just like most. Kicked him out. He ended up going to his tramps house. Lives there most nights unless he has my kid, then he goes to his rented shack for the weekend.

It has been 6 months now and I am done. Filed for divorce and have joined a few divorce support groups and friends meet up groups. I am still very sad that my 15 yr marriage has ended but I cannot ever going back and living under a microscope again.

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post #11 of 23 (permalink) Old 10-27-2011, 08:56 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Endless Text Messaging

Taking inappropriate stuff out of it some people just don't know when to give it a rest with the texting. Look at all the fools you see on the road doing it while they're driving. It becomes an obsession with some people to the point that's down right annoying. Have you ever tried having a conversation with someone and all they want to do is have their face stuck in their phone? Put the thing away for five minutes. Like someone above said what are we in high school?
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post #12 of 23 (permalink) Old 10-27-2011, 09:10 AM
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Re: Endless Text Messaging

I just had a blowout with my husband who texted a girl endlessly all day!! He works alone so his justification was that she will "laugh at his jokes" and it gives him someone besides me to talk to during the day since I'm usually busy working. Just 3 days ago he told me he isn't texting her anymore and that I can have him all to myself now and that should make me happy. I still don't believe him. He gave me this sad story about how he takes care of us in every way and has never in 21 yrs cheated on me yet I would rather ruin our long marriage just because he wants to text this girl once in awhile to pass the day. Its not just at work. We'll be on a date together and he will get texts from her, we finally got to go on our first vacation in 21 yrs without our kids and he texted her all day while we were sight seeing and ignored me. Thats the memory I have of us finally getting to be together without our children, nice huh? I am going to counseling by myself cause he won't go cause he's afraid of what the counselor might tell him. He blames this all me and tells me I'm paranoid and jealous of nothing. If I find out he's doing this again I'm done. I won't live with in a marriage where my spouse is having an EA, I deserve better.
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post #13 of 23 (permalink) Old 10-27-2011, 09:16 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Endless Text Messaging

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I just had a blowout with my husband who texted a girl endlessly all day!! He works alone so his justification was that she will "laugh at his jokes" and it gives him someone besides me to talk to during the day since I'm usually busy working. Just 3 days ago he told me he isn't texting her anymore and that I can have him all to myself now and that should make me happy. I still don't believe him. He gave me this sad story about how he takes care of us in every way and has never in 21 yrs cheated on me yet I would rather ruin our long marriage just because he wants to text this girl once in awhile to pass the day. Its not just at work. We'll be on a date together and he will get texts from her, we finally got to go on our first vacation in 21 yrs without our kids and he texted her all day while we were sight seeing and ignored me. Thats the memory I have of us finally getting to be together without our children, nice huh? I am going to counseling by myself cause he won't go cause he's afraid of what the counselor might tell him. He blames this all me and tells me I'm paranoid and jealous of nothing. If I find out he's doing this again I'm done. I won't live with in a marriage where my spouse is having an EA, I deserve better.
If this is all true he should have no problem letting you read the messages they're exchanging. Beyond that if he's texting her while you're away on vacation or when you're out together that's not exactly doing so to pass the day along while you're working. You can also go the route of putting divorce papers in his hands and telling him he has a choice. The nonsense messaging or your relationship.
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post #14 of 23 (permalink) Old 10-27-2011, 10:20 AM
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Re: Endless Text Messaging

I think excessive texting between opposite sexes is pretty much 100% of the time an EA. Men don't talk that much unless there is a greater motivation than 'just friends'.

When I text, it is short and sweet. Someone is looking for an answer and they get the answer. Or I ask a question and I get an answer. Like, "I can take Brent to practice! Pick him up at 8pm" or "Thanks". I think it is pretty hard to come up with 100 texts of simple exchanges of information.

If the number of texts are excessive, then they are more than likely getting personal. I am sure two women can text forever back and forth about things. But guys, not too much. If a guy is involved in excessive texting .... it isn't a good sign.
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post #15 of 23 (permalink) Old 10-27-2011, 10:55 AM
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Re: Endless Text Messaging

My stbxw had gotten her first cell about a year and a half before she started her affair, and was texting more and more to her girlfriends - early on I used to always ask her who she was texting so often, and she used to openly tell me, even show me the texts, no concerns if I picked up her phone. It was getting to the point I no longer bothered giving it any thought, would make disapproving eyes at her when I was trying to have a conversation and she wanted to text her friends instead. I was getting acclimatized to her behavior, I'm sure she was up to several hundred texts a day, and to many different people. DDay really snuck up quick on me, I felt so stupid when I realized that around the time of her PA most of the texts were to boyfriends not girlfriends, and most of the ones to her girlfriends were about the boyfriends. Ouch.

Anyways, signs to look put for, I'm definitely drawing boundaries on texting for future relationships.
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