HerToo

Recap: Caught in EA over a month ago. My wife forgave me. I have self imposed NC and boundaries. I'm in IC. We are working on fixing things. End of recap.

My wife will be out of town for a few days next week. I will be home alone for those nights. I hope to keep myself busy so that I don't dwell too much on the EA, or make a stupid decision to violate the NC. I REALLY don't want anything like that to even enter my mind. What can expect from my mind when I'm at home alone? Any suggestions to help make things go easy as possible? What can I expect? I will be going to the gym each night. I'm not social, so I won't be talking to anyone there.

My wife will be in a hotel alone those nights. What will she likely be thinking with all of that time alone? Is it possible that she might make a decision on us? What can I expect?

I'm sure my wife and I will talk via text and or phone during that period. But there will be times we aren't talking.

Any input would be appreciated.

Jellybeans

Your wife will be thinking long and hard about ur affair and wondering if u are talking to or out with the other woman. U will be mulling everything over in ur head. The fact u say u don't waant to mae a stupid decision and violate NC tells me u still don't get it and/or the gravity of what u did hasn't hit u yet...or that ur not that committed to reconciliation. U wouldn't even consider that if u were.
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MAKINGSENSEOFIT

Well if I was in your shoes I would consider the following. First of all if you're still having doubts about controlling your behavior I might suggest going to speak to someone. That will not only help you but be a very nice sign to your wife that you want to change. As for your wife being out of town you said you will be home alone at night and she will be alone in a hotel room at night. Why not keep each other company like you said but make nights of it. Talk on the phone, text, email, or play a computer game like scrabble together online.

Almostrecovered

do you have skype with cameras on her laptop and the comp at home- you can video chat with her and maybe even get a little sexy?

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HappyAtLast

Why on earth would you want to violate the NC?? Hasn't your EA caused enough grief already? If you're not chatting with your wife, watch some t.v. or listen to music.

HerToo

I have to disagree with your assessment of me, but I do understand how I led you there with my statements. I clearly understand the gravity of what I did or I wouldn't be so concerned about her thinking while she's out on her own.

I have also recognized that I have a weakness that surprised even me, and I never, ever want to see any form of that weakness again. I want my chances for success to be the best they can be. I have a plan, and I'm seeking advice for improving that plan in the vent that I missed something or didn't anticipate something happening in my mind.

With humans, we can expect any behavior. So I'm being realistic, and want to further my chances of mental survival. I WILL NOT break the NC or any boundaries. I'm concerned about my mental state during those lonely times. I want to focus on R and what more needs to be done with positive thoughts accompanying the focus. I do not want to think about the EA in any form.

I want my wife. I want to be a better husband than I've ever been. I want our marriage to be stronger than it's ever been. To achieve the aforementioned goals takes a plan and a ton of work. I want the best plan I get.

HerToo

We do have Skype, but she thinks it's creepy. I have no idea why she thinks that. Never could figure that one out. So I let it go. Haven't used it in years now.

Eli-Zor

If you were still in an affair and alone as was the OW I am sure you would have found a creative way of being in contact .

Why don't you use that same creativity to focus your attention to your wife? You've spent long enough in an EA to have learnt what to say and what buttons to push to engage a woman's attention, start practicing for real with your wife , behave and flirt as if dating each other is new.
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HerToo

@Eli-Zor: I do that now, and more. My concern is the alone time we both will have.

Almostrecovered

maybe she won't now that she will get the security to see you- maybe ask her again?

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HerToo

Just learned that she will not have Internet access from anything other than her BB.

Almostrecovered

??? What hotel doesnt have wifi?!

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HerToo

It has it, but she would have to pay $$ to use it. Her company will not pay for it. She doesn't want to pay for it either.

By the way, I suck at Scrabble.

Perhaps I should just plan on taking a safe sleep aid each night after a late dinner.

karole

Why don't you surprise your wife and join her on her trip?

HappyAtLast

I really hope things work out for the both of you...I really believe that going through hard times makes us even stronger, and also makes us appreciate what we could have lost forever.