DG has changed an awful lot since then. In fact up until recently the problem was that his wife hadn't noted the changes. She was still disconnected. I think this breakthrough has changed that. I think now she sees the changes that DG made to himself. And I think the new DG will not slide back into the old one. He knows where that leads. I also think they are beginning to communicate better. That will lead to less buried resentment as things move forward.
I think this is true. I am certainly more AWARE of issues, my actions, and meeting HER love language. We have not entirely written off MC. We postponed last weekends scheduled session, to the end of this month. Although....I attribute our turn around to YOU GUYS more than anything the MC did. We'll see how the next session goes.
This all being said....we still have a long way to go. She still has not said "I love you." And she still does not seem to understand MY love language (touch and affirmation........hers are quality time, and acts of service.) For now....I am meeting her emotional needs. But, for me to truly be happy....I need her to TELL me she loves me...and need unsolicited touch. As we continue to grow...I'll work on trying to convey this to her, in a non-confrontational way.
As for progress....we have settled on DW in September. We are also working on plans for a trip (just the two of us) to New Orleans, for a long weekend (Memorial Day weekend.)
Here is an interesting exchange from Monday....but some background first. The previous Monday, I texted her that I "did some experimenting with the razor, during my morning shower...lol." The gist of our texting last Tuesday was a LOT around my new-found "smoothness"...if you know what I mean. She appears to really like it..and has been joking with me ever since. For instance...one of my texts was that Wednesday was Survivor night...and I had plans for her. She responded..."is that your SMOOTH move?"
Anyway...this past Monday...when I got home for work, I did my normal hello hugs to the kids...then went to W, and gave her a peck on the cheek. DD1 commented "I thought you guys didn't kiss anymore!" I responded....'no....YOU mentioned that we don't kiss....I never said that. In fact...here's ANOTHER kiss for her.' W then adds..."Mommy and Daddy just went through a rough patch for a while...that is all." I then quipped in...'Yeah...now we are all SMOOTHED over.' W just doubled up laughing.
So...we are soooo on a completely elevated level, in joking around...and being sexual with each other. Things seem great. We've been joking about the New Orleans trip...and I keep telling her the goal is maximum beads. She keeps responding she doesn't think (after two kids) she is "bead-worthy." I keep assuring her she absolutely is. And we both laugh. But..in the long run...she does need to learn to start speaking MY love language. I hope we get there. I think we will. AND...yes...we do need to address some of the failings (communication is number one) that got us to that bad place. But...not now. I also think we need (at some point) to address how devastated I was by her beginning stage EA. It seems to be a bit rug-swept right now. And NOW is not the right time. I don't think it needs to come up, as punishment...or anything. I just think she will need to understand the emotional avalanche I went through (and am still dealing with......I will STILL go through triggers...and she will need to understand them.)
Hope all this makes sense.
Thanks all, for your support and advice. It has been priceless!!