If its possible, get a routine of working out going with her. Its funny to me since I don't work in a office how tiring it seems to be. I think it must be the same inertia a couch potato has. The reason I ask is that exercising has the effect of giving me more energy rather than tiring me out.
I ask my wife if its running to the file cabinets thats so tiring or what. That usually raises her adrenalin a few points anyway! LOL
BTW I bought a recumbant bike from Walmart and its great. Many women find a bicycle seat uncomfortable and I like it because its easy to read on. I didn't want to buy an expensive one and find out it was a dust collector. It gives you your heart rate and has different "courses" you can ride.
Yeah...I hear ya...we had a nice stationary bicycle (I got from my parents), we just gave away....it gathered dust. I also have a universal workout gym in the garage...also gathering dust. I can't get motivated at home....I just HAVE to go to the gym, where everyone around me seems to instill more motivation. lol. Once Summer is over, and we have a more uniform schedule (instead of trying to get the kids covered for entertainment during their months off) we will try to get the workout routine going.
DG, are you planning on having a sit down with the wife and talk about your needs/desires, you have clearly and really nicely explained what you want to us, do that with her.
I dont want to tempt you but since Call of Duty 3, they have came out with some really awesome Modern Warfare games if all else fails!! completely kidding!!
Yeah...I hear ya...we had a nice stationary bicycle (I got from my parents), we just gave away....it gathered dust. I also have a universal workout gym in the garage...also gathering dust. I can't get motivated at home....I just HAVE to go to the gym, where everyone around me seems to instill more motivation. lol. Once Summer is over, and we have a more uniform schedule (instead of trying to get the kids covered for entertainment during their months off) we will try to get the workout routine going.
Ha Ha girls alike biceps, chest and butts, not necessarily in that order, (so I have been told).
Maybe you should have a pair of dumbells by the bed instead of in the bed.
Wow....she must be reading my posts! She came home from the grocery store yesterday, and announced that we ought to go to bed early as we haven't had any adult time lately. I swear my jaw was low enough for a couple dust bunnies to hop in. So.....we did!
When I woke up this morning (she was already up), I was still in the mood....and considered jumping in the shower and "taking care of the need.". Then I thought..why not give it a go......walked down stairs, grabbed her hand and walked her back to our room. Locked the door, and tried our best to ignore the kids pounding on it from the other side. We got the deed done.....no thanks to the rug rats. . 9 & 6 yo's........really know how to interfere. Should have HEARD the commotion last night, when they realized we were showering together. I can't imagine what it will be like when they actually understand what is going on. How do you hide that? It is hard enough when they are clueless ...." mommy is just washing daddy's back.".
As to Call of Duty.....i never got into those newer versions. I like CoD3 best. The newer ones are almost nauseating. CoD3 is realistic enough, while remaining just cartoonish enough. Posted via Mobile Device
Two important things to consider here, first, are you keeping the weight off, and second, what ever happened with your wife's birth control? I dated a girl once who was almost perfect, but a year into the relationship she started birth control for the first time (she was 25, I was 34) and a month later she turned into a stranger. I didn't make the pill connection at first, but by the time I had it narrowed down to that, our relationship was pretty much shot. The change in personality was shocking. I've had a lot of relationships, so I know how things can change, this wasn't anything in the normal spectrum.
To be on the safe side, if she's on birth control, find out what kind and research the side effects.
Tony,
This is gold. I have read SO MANY posts here where the woman goes of BC hormones of one type or other and it improves her desire/behavior.
I was very lucky. My W always used a diaphragm because she gets migraines on occasion so the pill was not an option.
For any man who is done making babies. Get a V and let your W get off the pill.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tony55
Two important things to consider here, first, are you keeping the weight off, and second, what ever happened with your wife's birth control? I dated a girl once who was almost perfect, but a year into the relationship she started birth control for the first time (she was 25, I was 34) and a month later she turned into a stranger. I didn't make the pill connection at first, but by the time I had it narrowed down to that, our relationship was pretty much shot. The change in personality was shocking. I've had a lot of relationships, so I know how things can change, this wasn't anything in the normal spectrum.
To be on the safe side, if she's on birth control, find out what kind and research the side effects.
Two important things to consider here, first, are you keeping the weight off, and second, what ever happened with your wife's birth control? I dated a girl once who was almost perfect, but a year into the relationship she started birth control for the first time (she was 25, I was 34) and a month later she turned into a stranger. I didn't make the pill connection at first, but by the time I had it narrowed down to that, our relationship was pretty much shot. The change in personality was shocking. I've had a lot of relationships, so I know how things can change, this wasn't anything in the normal spectrum.
To be on the safe side, if she's on birth control, find out what kind and research the side effects.
Keep up the good work!
Oh, and stay in shape! Posted via Mobile Device
Thanks, Tony. Yes...I've pretty much kept off the weight...though I never did lose the additional 10 lbs (yet) that I wanted off. Right now hovering around 192. Wife and I have plans to begin a working out regimine, as soon as Summer (and the stress of keeping the kids occupied during their vacation) is off.
As to birth control....she did change hers to some kind of ring, that comes out every 30 days...mimicking the pills. She's always been on the pill, since I've known her...so no real change there. She doesn't want to go off...as without it, she gets VERY irregular, and cramps are too much for her to handle. With the pill....she has very light cycles. So, big V or not (for me) wouldn't change her mind to go off.
I understand the reasons why your wife (or many woman in general) need to use "the pill" to control menstrual cycles, etc, etc, but you commented earlier in your posts that she had gotten a 5 year birth control procedure, and I'm wondering if it was THAT that had caused you/her so many issues. The fact that it was reaching its expiration might have been what was bringing her back to a somewhat normal state of mind. (I believe Chap commented that there might be a correlation). If it was me I would at least find out what the brand of the particular treatment was and do a little research into it. Example, here is a comment from a woman who used a 5 year implant called Mirena...
"I had the Mirena placed about 8 weeks ago. The first week or two was great only got 1 mild headache and only very mild cramping. Those first couples of weeks my mood was great, my energy level was fantastic, I was sleeping better than I have in years. Now though I am getting worried about it. For the last week or so I have been having issues feeling like my heart is going crazy, it takes very little to get me to shaking. Even something as minor as having a debatable conversation will have me shaking. I also get dizzy easy. I have been having issues with temp changes effecting my breathing and my heart racing. I have moments of feeling like I'm in tunnel vision. I have terrible sleep problems (not going to sleep until 6 to7am). My energy level has bottomed out. I get mild headaches constantly. And a number of other things."
DG, eventually you will reach a point where you will want to know WHY she went from acting one way and then another. Maybe it was depression, maybe an EA, maybe 100 other things or maybe it was an implanted birth control device. She may not have had it in her to see the world the way she used to until that thing expired. Based on what you've written, your wife doesn't seem like a rotten person, she actually sounds like a nice person who's struggling (or was struggling) with something inside her that she doesn't understand.
You are doing a good job hanging in there with her and helping her through this, whatever it is or was.
I understand the reasons why your wife (or many woman in general) need to use "the pill" to control menstrual cycles, etc, etc, but you commented earlier in your posts that she had gotten a 5 year birth control procedure, and I'm wondering if it was THAT that had caused you/her so many issues. The fact that it was reaching its expiration might have been what was bringing her back to a somewhat normal state of mind. (I believe Chap commented that there might be a correlation). If it was me I would at least find out what the brand of the particular treatment was and do a little research into it. Example, here is a comment from a woman who used a 5 year implant called Mirena...
"I had the Mirena placed about 8 weeks ago. The first week or two was great only got 1 mild headache and only very mild cramping. Those first couples of weeks my mood was great, my energy level was fantastic, I was sleeping better than I have in years. Now though I am getting worried about it. For the last week or so I have been having issues feeling like my heart is going crazy, it takes very little to get me to shaking. Even something as minor as having a debatable conversation will have me shaking. I also get dizzy easy. I have been having issues with temp changes effecting my breathing and my heart racing. I have moments of feeling like I'm in tunnel vision. I have terrible sleep problems (not going to sleep until 6 to7am). My energy level has bottomed out. I get mild headaches constantly. And a number of other things."
DG, eventually you will reach a point where you will want to know WHY she went from acting one way and then another. Maybe it was depression, maybe an EA, maybe 100 other things or maybe it was an implanted birth control device. She may not have had it in her to see the world the way she used to until that thing expired. Based on what you've written, your wife doesn't seem like a rotten person, she actually sounds like a nice person who's struggling (or was struggling) with something inside her that she doesn't understand.
You are doing a good job hanging in there with her and helping her through this, whatever it is or was.
Great post, Tony...thanks! I actually, at one point WAS wondering about that implant. I guess I had forgotten about that concern. You are right, though. I already struggle with the WHY's. I will research this. You are also right...she is a wonderful woman......who scared the SH!T out of me, for a while there.
...Then I thought..why not give it a go......walked down stairs, grabbed her hand and walked her back to our room. Locked the door, and tried our best to ignore the kids pounding on it from the other side. We got the deed done.....no thanks to the rug rats. . 9 & 6 yo's........really know how to interfere. Should have HEARD the commotion last night, when they realized we were showering together. I can't imagine what it will be like when they actually understand what is going on. How do you hide that? It is hard enough when they are clueless ...." mommy is just washing daddy's back.".
I can not speak for other parents, but having had seven kids I think I can reply with some authority LOL Anyway, when the kids were about this age (earlier school-age) we purposefully set up times when they had the authority to "take care of themselves." It's sounds kind of confusing but here's what I mean. So first, we started to "train them" that if our bedroom door is closed and locked, that means parental private time. Likewise if we found their door closed (no locks) then we would recognize their privacy and knock. Saturday mornings they could get up ANY TIME THEY WANTED and make their own bowl of cereal and watch cartoons on TV until we choose to come out of our bedroom. We purposefully bought some cereals that were special to them (you know...Captain Crunch etc.) and we'd keep them up in a high cabinet, and Friday night we'd put them on the table so they could reach them. Thus...Saturday mornings were our adult oasis.
Just do something similar for any other time you want to have some fairly regular, uninterrupted adult time (and it doesn't always have to be sex, either). Let the kids have something that's special to them--like "You can play this XYZ game for one hour, and mommy and I are going to have some time with each other!" Let them "make" or eat something they consider a treat or cool ... let them play something they can't usually play...and have a little bit of a "family rule" about it.
I can not speak for other parents, but having had seven kids I think I can reply with some authority LOL Anyway, when the kids were about this age (earlier school-age) we purposefully set up times when they had the authority to "take care of themselves." It's sounds kind of confusing but here's what I mean. So first, we started to "train them" that if our bedroom door is closed and locked, that means parental private time. Likewise if we found their door closed (no locks) then we would recognize their privacy and knock. Saturday mornings they could get up ANY TIME THEY WANTED and make their own bowl of cereal and watch cartoons on TV until we choose to come out of our bedroom. We purposefully bought some cereals that were special to them (you know...Captain Crunch etc.) and we'd keep them up in a high cabinet, and Friday night we'd put them on the table so they could reach them. Thus...Saturday mornings were our adult oasis.
Just do something similar for any other time you want to have some fairly regular, uninterrupted adult time (and it doesn't always have to be sex, either). Let the kids have something that's special to them--like "You can play this XYZ game for one hour, and mommy and I are going to have some time with each other!" Let them "make" or eat something they consider a treat or cool ... let them play something they can't usually play...and have a little bit of a "family rule" about it.
Good advice. We are trying to introduce some regularity for "adult time" so it is already built into the schedule. Not great for sponteneity..but hey...better than getting interrupted. We finally have them understanding that a closed door means...KNOCK! As, even with the doors locked...a stiff breeze can blow them open. Most times....a quick sheet pull, and we are okay. But then.....there are those couple positions where there's NO amount of explaining to get us out of ..."WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
How was Disney? That was meant to be September, wasn't it? Posted via Mobile Device
Disney was awesome, thanks! We went two weeks ago, for a full 9 days (6 full days of amusement park activity.) I estimate I did about 30-35 miles of hiking, cause I was the advance guy for the Fast Passes (meaning I ran ahead, got the Fast Pass..came back to them, and worked our way back to that ride. Every ride they did...I walked TWICE!!)
But, we had a blast. W and I never found much alone time...but we had fun. We are still recovering from that trip. We are doing very well, now. Sex is still not nearly as frequent as it should be; but I dont' really think it has to do with a lack of willingness on her part. It is more life in the fast lane....and we don't have late night energy (after work/dinner/kids homework/kids snuggle-time/kids to bed/and then adult snuggle-time.) We DO make together time, nearly daily.
Short of it...I believe we are both MUCH happier than we've ever been. I guess ...the only thing that matters. And....it doesn't appear she was just using me to go to Disney. She's still here.
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Re: Pretty Much Have Lost It 
It gives you your heart rate and has different "courses" you can ride.
Helping couples recover and reconcile after an affair or keep their marriages affair-free at 
