Yes...I do. But I also get some conflicting advice. Some say go nuclear...some say I'm too hard. Some say I pushed it in MC...other's say I didn't say enough. I was too harsh with asking her about separation...but then get applauds for telling her to find an apartment. Head is spinning. Besides...she was showing possible progress. But when she could only come up with "I don't know" in MC....I realized she really wasn't. She was being nicer...but it didn't mean anything.
I realize....it seems she just doesn't want to be the bad guy, and call this time of death. I know (in my head) I need to .....but also...that makes me the bad guy to my kids. It is just hard.
Have you thought of getting some advice elsewhere? From people in your life who you know and trust, and who know the both of you?
Frankly, you're at a precarious stage. You may want to cast the net wide for different perspectives. Huge life decisions should not rely solely on the fickle opinions of internet strangers.
I'll add my opinion, of course. And as with every other post, you need to figure out for yourself what to do with it.
Frankly, there was no way that you were going to have this sorted by March. The fact that she had started being friendly was progress, no matter how much you and other posters may have downplayed it's significance. She had warmed up in a few months after being cold for two years. It's not nearly enough, but it was something.
That said, you had every right to push for more in counselling. It is something, but you need more.
What I'm weary of is how you may be escalating this much more quickly than is necessary. Unless I missed something, this marriage counselling session is the first time this year that you have made any indication that her actions were not enough. You have already essentially told her to move out. She never had time to process the bomb dropped on her in MC and figure out what she would do.
Some people have pushed for a quick solution. Some ultimatum that forces her hand, or just moving for divorce. Either way, I don't think your marriage would survive. I think if you are to have any hope of achieving the marriage that you want, you need to play the long game. That might mean less drama for readers, but a little more stability for the two of you to build something if this can be salvaged.
Whether you are up to it is of course a matter for you. For all I know, you may be too emotionally frazzled to stick with this marriage for too much longer. In that case, the quick path might be best.