I am not aware of what happened with you.
Can you please elucidate?
I didn't write anything specific about my situation because I wanted a general discussion with lots of different peoples experiences.
But since you asked... Me and my husband were/are perfect for each other. We fulfill each other and have fun together. I tend to overthink things and he tends to not always think things through. We are spontaneous, have a lot in common. But at the same time we have two vastly different things we are extremely passionate about. Our main goal is to help each other pursue our dreams and build a life together. We were this "innocent", cute, young couple who never argued and made things happen.
Then he had his health problems, lost the job of his dream, existential crisis, building up resentment, failed to communicate, pushed me away, got depressed, went on antidepressants, lost all emotions including his love for me, went on a road trip on his own, spent two nights with a girl with the same health issue as him self, cheated physically but with no actual sex and no feelings for her either, came home and wanted a divorce told me everything and was really mean and hurtful for a couple of months.
He got better and quit his antidepressants and fell back in love with me. We worked hard together through marriage counselling and has his own IC as well. Things got a lot better, we decided to get pregnant, and now my feelings are a bit all over the place.
I feel like we are fake, like our happiness is a charade, like our vows are invalid and I don't know who we are as a couple. We have the best relationship out of every one I know, we communicate better than anyone, so now I can't trust anything, I feel like a complete fraud when giving relationship advice to my sister, and I don't know if I'm happy or miserable. I don't want to be the couple who makes it against the odds, I don't want to be the fighters who can work their way through anything. I want the innocence and the pure happiness and complete trust back. I want to go back to being truly one.
I miss who we were and I don't know who we are... And why did this show up after I got pregnant, I don't want to blame my emotions on hormones, but I'm triggering worse, doubting more, have lots more mood swings... But I know he is the one I want, and I know he has learned from his seriously bad choices. I just don't know how to accept being so badly hurt by the person closest to me. We both had sh!tty pasts, and had finally reached happily ever after, the promised land... And I can't accept life getting sh!tty again...