When does it stop being an Affair?
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Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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Old 11-04-2011, 10:07 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default When does it stop being an Affair?

This might be a stupid question, but I would like to know when an EA/PA stops being and EA/PA. There appears to be no way that my marriage can be saved (and right now I tend to agree), we are just waiting until the house is sold so that we can go our separate ways (yes, for the most part, we are still in the matrimonial home together for economic reasons), but she does still go to see OM. It is out there that she is seeing someone else. She is convinced that the marriage is over, so she assumes that what she is doing is not an A. I'm looking for a quick exit from my house when it is sold, so that I can move on, but it is very difficult to cope when she is doing this when we are still "together".
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Old 11-04-2011, 10:10 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: When does it stop being an Affair?

Nothing to really add except if the OM is married or has a girlfriend it is important to expose it immediately to them. Good luck.
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Old 11-04-2011, 10:12 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: When does it stop being an Affair?

Regardless of what she thinks, if you are not divorced, it is an affair. She has a husband and a boyfriend.
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Old 11-04-2011, 10:27 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: When does it stop being an Affair?

Still an affair. I once was seeing someone who had lied and told me he was divorced. He had his own apartment, I met his children, his mother, brothers sisters, friends. I always felt that everyone was always very nervous around me, things weren't quite right. Then I found out 6 months in that he was still married. He never thought he was having an 'affair'. Makes me sick to this day that someone could behave that way and actually think that what they're doing is OK. His wife was devastated by it all, naturally. I felt like such sh!t.
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Old 11-04-2011, 11:29 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: When does it stop being an Affair?

It is very much cheating until the papers a signed.
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Old 11-04-2011, 11:36 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: When does it stop being an Affair?

It will always be an affair because it was started under false pretense. It was wrong from day one and it will be wrong until the relationship is over.
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Old 11-04-2011, 11:40 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: When does it stop being an Affair?

Even if/when you divorce, it will only be legalized adultery.
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Old 11-04-2011, 01:03 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: When does it stop being an Affair?

Quote:
Originally Posted by LostCPA View Post
It will always be an affair because it was started under false pretense. It was wrong from day one and it will be wrong until the relationship is over.
Nailed it.
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Old 11-04-2011, 01:30 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: When does it stop being an Affair?

Are you telling us that you still have not exposed this A to OMW? Expose !!!
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