Re: My wife the liar, how could she do this to me.
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Originally Posted by shocs12
The only problem i have is she doesn't regret sleeping with them guys because she says it has made her a better person. I have no idea what that means.
A truly Christian woman would have said the opposite of what she said and would never have kept her former lovers as friends and introduce them to her husband so that he would also become friends with them, all the while hiding from him the truth about what they were to her in the past.
With her justification mindset, it wouldn't surprise me if his wife has continued having sex with these men throughout the years that they've been married. I truly hope I'm dead wrong about this.
Re: My wife the liar, how could she do this to me.
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Originally Posted by Halien
She's probably referring to a very common theme in the Bible. Are you trying to suggest that the prodigal son wasn't truly repentent when he asked his father to take him back, even as a servant? The father took him back because he saw that he had become a better person. He learned from his mistakes, and became wise.
You're talking about repentance. Shocs said she thinks she's a better person not because she sinned and repented, but because she now has more experience than a virgin. That has nothing to do with Biblical principles.
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Originally Posted by Halien
Our religion is not a religion of saints here on earth. It is a religion of sinners with hope. Its about the only thing all of us have in common. So, I guess we're all soiled, right?
Ours is a religion of redemption. All have sinned, but redemption is offered and it is possible to live a holy live after repentance. Shocs seems to relate that his wife is unrepentant. At least about her premarital sex. I think he said she regrets lying to him, but doesn't regret the sex.
I can understand the distress. It would be disconcerting to find out your wife robbed a bank before you were married and was only sorry that she didn't tell you about it.
Re: My wife the liar, how could she do this to me.
I wish shocs12 would consult with a religious marital adviser that could guide him and help him make a decision that he could live with based on his religion's principles.
Re: My wife the liar, how could she do this to me.
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Originally Posted by PHTlump
You're talking about repentance. Shocs said she thinks she's a better person not because she sinned and repented, but because she now has more experience than a virgin. That has nothing to do with Biblical principles.
Sorry, I couldn't disagree more. I'm referring to what the OP said, and not the conjecture that has been supposed by others. I think that was the purpose of quoting him.
Look at this earlier statment from the OP.
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A better person in a sense that, she knows what she wants now and that she wouldnt go to another man because she knows whats out there.
This is what you would call a close paraphrase of what the prodigal son said to his father. She had seen what was out there. Now, she knows what she wants.
To suggest that she was actually equating this with the thrill of sowing her oats only applies to the conjecture of other posters, and an OP who takes a pre-christian (OT) view of the subjugate role of women. I think this thread makes an excellent Biblical principle. Jesus never called a woman soiled, and he talked to more than one 'non-virgins'. He made a point of stressing this.
Re: My wife the liar, how could she do this to me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Halien
Sorry, I couldn't disagree more. I'm referring to what the OP said, and not the conjecture that has been supposed by others. I think that was the purpose of quoting him.
I was referring to his quote as well. I don't know how you got a sense of repentance from his quote. It wasn't there.
Let's look at a later sentence from the OP in the post you quoted.
Quote:
Originally Posted by shocs12
Since she does nt regret, she must be comparing me to her lovers.
So shocs is saying that his wife doesn't regret her premarital sex.
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Originally Posted by Halien
This is what you would call a close paraphrase of what the prodigal son said to his father. She had seen what was out there. Now, she knows what she wants.
You misunderstand the parable of the prodigal son. The happy ending wasn't that he went out, had a good time, weighed his options, and ultimately decided that the pious life was for him after all with no regrets for his experimenting. The happy ending came after the son turned his back on his family, sinned, ended up as low as one can get, and was ultimately redeemed after turning his back on that life and turning back to a pious life. You can bet the prodigal son regretted his sins.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Halien
To suggest that she was actually equating this with the thrill of sowing her oats only applies to the conjecture of other posters, and an OP who takes a pre-christian (OT) view of the subjugate role of women. I think this thread makes an excellent Biblical principle. Jesus never called a woman soiled, and he talked to more than one 'non-virgins'. He made a point of stressing this.
I don't have to rely on conjecture when the OP states that his wife is unremorseful. I think you're the one conjecturing on the OP's view of the subjugation of women. Is believing that people (women and men alike) should remain chaste until marriage a pre-Christian view that subjugates women? Please explain how.
Jesus did preach to sinners. That doesn't mean he advocated sin or dismissed sin as unimportant.
Re: My wife the liar, how could she do this to me.
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Originally Posted by morituri
I wish shocs12 would consult with a religious marital adviser that could guide him and help him make a decision that he could live with based on his religion's principles.
I would also suggest that shocs12 take his time to make sure that works with this advisor to make the proper decision. These are some very big decisions to make, and I suspect there will be a rollercoaster of emotions here in the short term. Taking your time and working through the issues will increase your chances of making the best decision.
Re: My wife the liar, how could she do this to me.
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Originally Posted by Angel5112
Although I am not proud of my past, I am proud of what I have become because of it.
I can understand this sentence. Although, I suggest that it is possible that you have become the person you are in spite of your past, rather than because of it.
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Originally Posted by Angel5112
I do not regret any past actions but I do regret how the actions made others who cared about me feel.
I don't understand this sentence. You regret making people feel badly, but you don't regret doing the things that made them feel badly? I don't see any difference there.
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Originally Posted by Angel5112
On a side note though, could you please, before you continue to label your wife as soiled, think about how you would want your daughters treated if they chose to have sex before marriage? I hope you would not call them soiled and love them less because of it. I am just trying to put things into perspective.
I know labels count. But given that the OP is a Christian, and Christians believe in the injurious effects of sin on a sinner (staining, or soiling, the person in the eyes of God), it seems inconsistent with the tenets of his religion, not to mention very arrogant, to argue that sin soils the sinner, except if the sinner is a member of his immediate family. In that case, there's no problem.
Re: My wife the liar, how could she do this to me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Halien
She's probably referring to a very common theme in the Bible. Are you trying to suggest that the prodigal son wasn't truly repentent when he asked his father to take him back, even as a servant? The father took him back because he saw that he had become a better person. He learned from his mistakes, and became wise.
It's not possible for the father to see that the prodigal son was truly repentent from that far away. Note:
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But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.
The father took him back because he was his son.
Note that the prodigal son does not get what was left of the father's estate. To the older brother who stayed, the father said:
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'My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours.'
Re: My wife the liar, how could she do this to me.
socs12 needs to consider having himself and his wife tested for STIs because some Sexually transmitted infections exist without symptoms.
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Originally Posted by Angel5112
I do not regret any past actions but I do regret how the actions made others who cared about me feel.
I take a different stand on this and have to say that I do regret some of my past actions because they could have cost me my life and thus devastated my parents. If I am still alive it is only through divine intervention or pure dumb luck.
Re: My wife the liar, how could she do this to me.
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Originally Posted by Angel5112
I don't regret my actions because they made me realize they destructive path, psychologically, that I was on and helped me have a better awareness for certain things now, but I regret that my actions hurt my family and my friends.
But what if those actions you don't regret had cost you your life or your marriage?
Believe me that if I had to relive my life, I would never repeat the dangerous boneheaded actions I took in the past.
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They test for STD's/STI's at your first prenatal visit. Doesn't the OP have 2 children? Unless she has been unfaithful in the marriage or lives in a country where they don't test as a precautionary measure, I don't think this would be necessary.
Since she has proven that she is capable of great deception, the question of her faithfulness is one that remains unanswered.
Re: My wife the liar, how could she do this to me.
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Originally Posted by that_girl
All sins are the same in your God's eyes.
That claim is frequently made. However, there is little Biblical support for this position.
But most of the religious debate on this thread is not germane to the discussion. The OP does need to talk to a religious adviser from his denomination, or at least versed in the OP's views to explore several questions, including the following:
Does the false pretense of virginity render a marriage void ab initio?
Does the continued deception regarding his wife's prior virginity constitute an offense worthy of ecumenical divorce?
Is the OP required to forgive his wife for her past sexual experience when she has no remorse for her actions?
Is it possible for the OP to forgive his wife and still divorce her?
If the OP obtains a civil divorce that isn't church-sanctioned, can he freely remarry, or would that constitute adultery against his current wife?
He should also explore the possibility of reconciliation. I wish him luck.
Re: My wife the liar, how could she do this to me.
I am sorry to say this but I seriously think that Shocs12 is between a rock and a hard place and perhaps is angry because he will not be justified doing what it appears to me that he wants to do. Maybe I am wrong but...
1. Fact:When she did those sexual acts they were not married.
Therefore I can't find anywhere in scripture that he can be
justified in divorcing her!!!
2. Fact: And I do believe that he is now required to have to
show grace towards her according to scripture or he will be committing sin and though not sexual sin,he will be soiled and thus just as guilty as her because on judgement day...God won't catorigise sins. A sinner will be guilty of breaking the entire law(including adultery) if found guilty of any sins come judgement day!
So any arguements he makes now,as painful as this may be to him, are in my opinion him speaking as a man outside of scripture. Though in mans eyes he does have reason,but not Gods. If you use the law to hurt,destroy,kill you too will be judged by the law. I know many will disagree but the way I see it he is bound by the law AND BY GRACE to forgive her and stay married. And as another said,it is the OP that brought religion and his beliefs into this thread and what he seems to want to do. Oh my how life can hurt sometimes!
Re: My wife the liar, how could she do this to me.
Isaiah 64:6
"We are all infected and impure with sin. When we display our righteous deeds, they are nothing but filthy rags. Like autumn leaves, we wither and fall, and our sins sweep us away like the wind."
Luke 17:3-4
“If another believer sins, rebuke that person; then if there is repentance, forgive. Even if that person wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, you must forgive.”
Looks like this is telling the OP what he needs to do.
Re: My wife the liar, how could she do this to me. 
