Re: My wife the liar, how could she do this to me.
Paternity seems fairly certain.
Quote:
Originally Posted by shocs12
Trust me guys, my two daughters are mine, am black and my wife is white and my babies are biracial. All her past exs where white. Posted via Mobile Device
Re: My wife the liar, how could she do this to me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PHTlump
Paternity seems fairly certain.
That doesn't prove anything except that they may not be the 3 previous lovers biological children. It is possible that she may have had an affair with another black man. Like I said before, I hope I'm wrong, dead wrong in my suspicions and that she has been a faithful wife that he can open his heart to forgive for lying to him about her virginity.
Re: My wife the liar, how could she do this to me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arnold
Uh, that would be the past exs he knows about, right? Thought I read somewhere in this story that she lied to him once
The lie in this thread is the state of the wife's virginity when she married. Is that significant? Yes. Does that mean she's cheated, had other men's children, or joined Al Qaeda? Probably not.
Re: My wife the liar, how could she do this to me.
Just thinking to myself how abstaining from premarital sex for both of us would have affected the marriage. I wonder if it would have been as bad as some presume. First experience with first experience, no preconceptions or pasts to live up to or "out-do"...
It seems like it might have been kind of amazing.
Re: My wife the liar, how could she do this to me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Angel5112
"Tha only problem i have is she doesnt regret sleeping with them guys because she says it has made her a better person. I have no idea what that means."
I can sympathize with the theory of this. I was very promiscuous as a teen; I cannot count my past partners with just my two hands, and had a serious drug and alcohol abuse problem. Although I am not proud of my past, I am proud of what I have become because of it. I do not regret any past actions but I do regret how the actions made others who cared about me feel. I am not non-regretful because of things my actual partners did, but because my own actions made me realize and learn things about me. My actions helped me become a better person by learning from my mistakes and taught me how I need to treat others and, more importantly, treat myself. It taught me self respect.
That same reason doesn't make sense coming from her since she lied about her past. I don't agree with your beliefs or that she is "soiled". I do understand why you feel betrayed though. It makes it even worse that she socialized and allowed you to socialize with past partners when you weren't aware of whom they were. That is sick and twisted.
That being said, I still think forgiveness is the best option. I do think you have to take into account how your relationship has been the last 12 years. I also think you should talk to a Christian counselor, whether it is a minister, priest, or just a Christian psychologist is up to you.
On a side note though, could you please, before you continue to label your wife as soiled, think about how you would want your daughters treated if they chose to have sex before marriage? I hope you would not call them soiled and love them less because of it. I am just trying to put things into perspective.
Didn't you end up cheating though? So your past made you into a cheater more or less? I mean this doesn't really help the whole my past made me what I am argument, no offense.
Re: My wife the liar, how could she do this to me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Angel5112
I think jumping to the "she's a harlot and your kids are not biologically yours" is really quite a leap. That's just my opinion though.
I would agree with you if it weren't for two things. One, she lied on purpose that she was a virgin in order for him to marry her - something that no one who truly loves another person would do. And second, she maintained friendship with 3 of her former lovers from her promiscous past. This latter one is the biggest of the two red flags for it begs the question of Why would a pious married woman would want to maintain friendship with 3 of her ex-lovers and promote them to become friends with her husband unbeknownst to him who they were in relationship to her past? If I were him I would seriously consider the paternity tests and the polygraph test.
Re: My wife the liar, how could she do this to me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shooboomafoo
Just thinking to myself how abstaining from premarital sex for both of us would have affected the marriage. I wonder if it would have been as bad as some presume. First experience with first experience, no preconceptions or pasts to live up to or "out-do"...
It seems like it might have been kind of amazing.
Much early sex isn't wonderful. It takes time to learn how the opposite sex works as well as how your own body works.
And non existent can be worked through. It isn't always the disaster you see on this site.
And let's not forget bait and switch which blindsides many of those premarital sex relationships.
Premarital sex guarantees nothing except that you aren't a virgin. It also means you could pick up an std, and you could wind up a parent.
This is getting old. I wouldn't be surprised if the op gave up on this place. The agenda is clear. Clear, but irrelevant to this man's life. Not that many of you care. It is all about defending and pushing your beliefs on other people.
I am totally with Shoo on this one. Posted via Mobile Device
Re: My wife the liar, how could she do this to me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by morituri
I would agree with you if it weren't for two things. One, she lied on purpose that she was a virgin in order for him to marry her - something that no one who truly loves another person would do.
One could argue that she lied because she truly loved him. She knew that if she told the truth, he would probably dump her. Therefore, by lying, she was able to give herself the best chance of spending her life with him.
Quote:
Originally Posted by morituri
And second, she maintained friendship with 3 of her former lovers from her promiscous past. This latter one is the biggest of the two red flags for it begs the question of Why would a pious married woman would want to maintain friendship with 3 of her ex-lovers and promote them to become friends with her husband unbeknownst to him who they were in relationship to her past? If I were him I would seriously consider the paternity tests and the polygraph test.
It is possible that she considered her sexual relationship with those men in the past. It is also possible that she didn't want to alert her husband to her prior lie. I mean, if she married her husband and then announced that she could no longer associate with these men, her husband might inquire as to why. That would certainly be an awkward conversation for a self-proclaimed virgin.
Re: My wife the liar, how could she do this to me.
I think a lot of this might depend on their sex life. Is she really attracted to him or is he just some nice guy sucker she lied to because he was nice and stable? That would probably sting the most, especially if she was more attracted to the friends.
Re: My wife the liar, how could she do this to me.
The marriage as it was is now at the end.
How this marriage proceeds depends mostly on what shocs12 is comfortable with. If he stays the deceit can gnaw away the relationship. If he divorce, other factors get triggered.
Re: My wife the liar, how could she do this to me. 
