Re: My wife the liar, how could she do this to me.
I understand why you said that you will never trust her but what that essentially will do is pull her away emotionally from you and later on leave you.
A marriage without trust is a sham marriage. Do you want a sham marriage?
Re: My wife the liar, how could she do this to me.
Although I have spent most of my life as a christain I have had times that I wasn't. From re-reading my posts in this thread I may be coming from a different perspective or view than most.
Most of the women in my family and my WW's family have been very bad cheats. Including our mothers. One of my wifes sisters was murdered because she cheated,her boyfriend killed her.
I have been surrounded by this all my life.
But after reading this page of posts I am brought to think of the woman taken in the very act of adultry. "Neither do I condemn thee go and sin no more."
I think of the prostitutes and that life and it's drugs that have destroyed as far as man's opinion but how that God was able to forgive them and make something beautiful out of their once ruined lives.
Shocs12....I see your hurt,lost trust, and how you must view your life with this woman so far now and how you must view your future now. But I wish somehow you and I could change places for a little while and you walk in my shoes. I wish you could change places with the prophet Joel and have to walk in his shoes. Then I wish you could see what I have seen God do with wives and marriages that are alot worse than what you are in. How he can do the impossible healing in hearts and lives that have been devastated and lost all hope in life and in God. I wish this because if you could have lived what I have lived, you then could understand how that your life and situation are not quite as bad as you think it is.
Re: My wife the liar, how could she do this to me.
I have decided to get divorced. Is it possible that i may get to see my kids more than twice a month, am hoping the kids would stay with me for atleast a week. Posted via Mobile Device
Re: My wife the liar, how could she do this to me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by shocs12
I have decided to get divorced. Is it possible that i may get to see my kids more than twice a month, am hoping the kids would stay with me for atleast a week. Posted via Mobile Device
Is that a firm decision or are you thinking about it now?
You mention earlier you'll stay for the kids. Did something else happened?
Re: My wife the liar, how could she do this to me.
I had to re-read your thread and I didn't see any mention of infidelity. Let me get this straight: You want to divorce her because she lied to you about being a virgin, yet he has been faithful to you all this time? And that for you is a deal breaker.
What commandments has she broken? What vows has she broken? What other men has she slept with since you've been married to her? If she's been faithful to you your entire marriage, I don't see how you can reconcile this with your religious beliefs. I thought that infidelity is the only valid reason for divorce according to christian beliefs, unless you're not a christian.
So if you remarry to another woman, are you going to have a doctor examine her for proof of her virginity? And what about you? You certainly won't be a virgin for your virgin wife. Wouldn't that be hypocritical?
I really don't see how this thread is in the coping with infidelity forum
Re: My wife the liar, how could she do this to me.
A religious man. Bummer. To bad your not a christian. Then you would be encouraged to forgive her. But being religious it makes it very difficult. Some religious people can be very unforgiving. They refuse to look at Christ on the cross and realize that its them that should be hanging there. I can also wager that you have your share of lies and deceit too. If by chance you do consider yourself a christian, here is a mirror for you.
ALL have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.
That's right ALL. So cast that stone, you righteous man.
Re: My wife the liar, how could she do this to me.
Good thing the OP is not God (or have God-like abilities or capabilities?) -- he has much more leeway in what to do.
Your wife maintained a fundamental lie throughout your marriage.
It's up to you to decide if you can live with such.
The lie will affect your marriage going forward. Whether or not you can live with that is up to you.
If you do decide to stay, you'll need to learn to forgive your wife. And she needs to cut off all her ex-lovers and toxic friends. Find new common friends.
Re: My wife the liar, how could she do this to me.
People! Quit condemning this man! He was lied to from the beginning! His wife should've been straight up and honest to him about screwing around before marriage! His whole marriage is based on a lie! (same as infidelity!) He probably wouldn't have married her if he knew, but because she lied to him she robbed him of a future with someone better! At least I feel he feels this way! If the roles were reversed, many of you would've said drop the bastard's ass if he was the one who lied!
Re: My wife the liar, how could she do this to me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Darth Vader
People! Quit condemning this man! He was lied to from the beginning! His wife should've been straight up and honest to him about screwing around before marriage! His whole marriage is based on a lie! (same as infidelity!) He probably wouldn't have married her if he knew, but because she lied to him she robbed him of a future with someone better! At least I feel he feels this way! If the roles were reversed, many of you would've said drop the bastard's ass if he was the one who lied!
I have to respectfully disagree here. And no, I wouldn't drop a spouse who has been faithful to me all this time just because she lied about being a virgin. IMHO, a marriage is based on a lie when a person marries someone who's heart belongs to someone else and that person keeps that other person in their heart and maintains a relationship with them. I think the biggest example of a marriage based on a lie is Bleeding's marriage.
When you've been nothing but a consolation prize, second place in someone's heart and mind. That's my definition of a marriage being a lie. To me, there's a difference between infidelity and lying. Yes, lying is a part of infidelity, but it's not infidelity itself. She's just guilty about lying about her virginity. If she hasn't been in an affair with anyone of these past lovers or anyone else for that matter while they were married, then I don't see how that can equate to infidelity. Just my two cents.
Re: My wife the liar, how could she do this to me.
She KNEW before they got married that virginty was a big deal to him - he was a virgin himself - and yet she chose to deceive him that she was a virgin when she was not. It was a deal breaker for him that he would not get married to any woman who was not a virgin. Now he is applying the deal breaker. Agree or not with his beliefs, they are his. Just like an unfaithful wife, his wife lied and deceived. From the time they were courting, at the time of the wedding, and throghout their 12 years of marriage. If he holds true to his beliefs, he will never marry again.
People! Quit condemning this man! He was lied to from the beginning! His wife should've been straight up and honest to him about screwing around before marriage! His whole marriage is based on a lie! (same as infidelity!) !
Re: My wife the liar, how could she do this to me. 
