Well, pride may not be an issue here. He specifically informed his wife that virginity was important to him. He trusted her to be truthful. She betrayed that trust, thus depriving him of the ability to make an informed decision.
Why someone would do this, is beyond me. It certainly is not loving or respectful, and those qualities would seem to be important in a marriage.
His level of experience with women or the frequency with which this is lied about is immaterial. This did not come about as the result of his lack of experience(as if that is something to be ashamed of) or because other women have lied about this. It happened because his wife made a unilateral decision that he was not entitled to make an informed decision about something as sacred as marriage.
Man, Arnold, I don't know where to start!
It takes a person of rare intellect to combine the statements "he trusted her to be truthful" and "his experience with women or the frequency with which this is lied about is immaterial" in the same post to make a point. Since you missed it, I will say it plainly- IF he had more experience with women, he might not have been so trusting. That is entirely the point. If he chose to steer clear of intimate relationships until marriage, that's his business, and he is welcome to it. He is also welcome to the results, which he is now having to deal with.
"Why someone would do this, is beyond me. It certainly is not loving or respectful, and those qualities would seem to be important in a marriage."
Yeah. Hmmm. Maybe his wife wasn't too proud of herself for having been promiscuous. Maybe she met the OP and was amazed to find such a devout and decent man. Maybe she looked around and said to herself, "guys like this are one in a million, and I will do whatever I can to become his wife and love and respect and cherish him forever after." And so, when he explained to her how important it was to him that she be virginal, she said, "he'll never know," and, being younger herself, didn't much think about what would happen years later when her previous history came to light.
Naw, it couldn't be anything like that. It had to be because she was a lying treacherous harlot, acting out of evil motives to ruin our poor hero's life.
OP doesn't mention her cheating on him after they took their vows. He doesn't list out her failings as a wife and a mother. I'll go out on a limb here and bet that she attends the same church as he does, so she respects his religion. He doesn't gripe about her spending all his money, or going out for Girls Nights Out. The OP is upset because his wife lied to him about something 12 years ago and then seems to have been a pretty solidly good wife ever since.
Yeah, where did I get the idea that his pride might be bruised, anyway? Personally, I think his wife did him wrong, and should have been honest with him from the get-go. He wanted an honest virgin, and he got neither.