Re: My wife the liar, how could she do this to me.
PRIDE? Yes i agree my pride is hurt, who wouldnt be? When i held my wife so high just to find out shes just the same as the rest. I worked hard to give her a good life, my business are doing okay and she was my inspiration, my jewel i new many women dont wait till marriage so i worked harder for her. Now my jewels are my two girls. She should have told me, and yes i wouldnt have married her. Posted via Mobile Device
Re: My wife the liar, how could she do this to me.
May I suggest you get your 2 daughters tested for paternity? The tests are inexpensive. Probably fatherhood is not an issue, but just in case for your peace of mind.
Re: My wife the liar, how could she do this to me.
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Originally Posted by aug
May I suggest you get your 2 daughters tested for paternity? The tests are inexpensive. Probably fatherhood is not an issue, but just in case for your peace of mind.
I would also suggest that she undergo a polygraph test to help find out if she has ever cheated on you during the time the two of you have been together.
Lastly, consider placing VARs (voice activated recorders) underneath the drivers seat of her car and in every room inside your home. And if you can afford it, hiring a PI to follow her around.
A woman who lied to her husband about her sexual past, had sex with 8 men prior to marriage, and who still maintains a continued friendship with 3 of her ex-lovers unbeknownst to her husband for more than twelve years, is a woman of dubious credibility.
I would also suggest that she undergo a polygraph test to help find out if she has ever cheated on you during the time the two of you have been together.
Lastly, consider placing VARs (voice activated recorders) underneath the drivers seat of her car and in every room inside your home. And if you can afford it, hiring a PI to follow her around.
A woman who lied to her husband about her sexual past, had sex with 8 men prior to marriage, and who still maintains a continued friendship with 3 of her ex-lovers unbeknownst to her husband for more than twelve years, is a woman of dubious credibility.
thats what am also thinking. Posted via Mobile Device
Re: My wife the liar, how could she do this to me.
I think in most threads, the combination of continued lying and maintaining contact with former lovers would have almost every poster here going "red flags!"
One of the most important things I've learned here is that a spouse keeping contact with past ex's is usually not a good thing. I think that applies to this case now, regardless of Shoc's religious beliefs.
Shoc, I assume you're feeling (in addition to anger over the lies) humiliation over this, how everyone knew but you. Particularly when you are friends with some of these men. You have not mentioned (unless I missed it) how your wife is reacting: is she showing signs of remorse over hurting you?
I hope you're staying as composed as possible around her - any outburts of anger won't help anything. And have you been looking into any religious-based counseling? I'd start with your denomination's church/group first.
Re: My wife the liar, how could she do this to me.
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Originally Posted by RWB
Agreed, she lied, but not unfaithful...
I would be more concerned about her remaining friends, seeing, socializing with former lovers... Inviting a future affair when time get tough... Like now.
Yes,to me this is the issue. She has shown some pretty incredable disrespect by socializing with them. This would upset most people I would think.
I am now wondering if this woman is naive,ignorant and blind to her husbands feelings should this ever be made known to him about these past lovers as current friends or if she has some unknown desire to have socialized with them? It doesn't 'appear' that she may be cheating on him but I can't figure out how she can be so blind to want the marriage to continue knowing that she told him a lie and that she is taking such a gamble being around past lovers?? Something doesn't add up!
Maybe there is some more info. needed here other than what is being given. I just can't understand this. Has he since the vows,told her that it would be ok if she hadn't been a virgin and she feels safe interacting with past lovers? Geesh,,,this one has me bumfuzzeled...but that's not hard to accomplish.
Re: My wife the liar, how could she do this to me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by shocs12
PRIDE? Yes i agree my pride is hurt, who wouldn't be? When i held my wife so high just to find out shes just the same as the rest. I worked hard to give her a good life, my business are doing okay and she was my inspiration, my jewel i new many women don't wait till marriage so i worked harder for her. Now my jewels are my two girls. She should have told me, and yes i wouldn't have married her. Posted via Mobile Device
Shocs- I actually do sympathize with your situation, even though it might not sound like it. As I said earlier, having you interact with previous partners and not knowing her history was crappy and worth staying pissed off about.
You asked originally if anyone had been through something like this, and I can't say that I have.
But.
You probably aren't going to find too many people who have been through this kind of situation, due to the strength of your faith. No insult intended here- most people just aren't as devoted as you are.
So instead of trying to speculate about the situation, I would rather pose questions to you.
What do you want to do? Reconcile? Separate? Try to rebuild trust? Try to find out the truth? Try to start over with someone else?
Your wife has hurt you deeply, and been really flat out stupid to have had you interacting with previous partners without having known it (although in her weak defense, you did say she has always been uncomfortable around her old friends). If you can put those actions off to the side, and evaluate your marriage, what kind of wife has she been? Was she meeting your needs before you found these things out? Was she your inspiration a month ago?
The reason I put these questions out here is that you probably need to answer them in order to start moving forward, towards whichever ending you want.
That's really what it comes down to. Your wife violated your trust and your beliefs, and now you have to balance that against the good things she brought to the union.
Re: My wife the liar, how could she do this to me.
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Originally Posted by tacoma
I think you're seriously over reacting.
While I`ve already stated that the lie she is guilty of is understandably a deal breaker for you, to state that her sex life before you were involved constitutes infidelity is overly dramatic.
Simply incorrect by any definition of the word.
Online webster shows:
Quote:
Definition of INFIDELITY
1: lack of belief in a religion
2 a : unfaithfulness to a moral obligation : disloyalty
2 b : marital unfaithfulness or an instance of it
Re: My wife the liar, how could she do this to me.
Although as far as you know, she did not sleep with any OM, this is a serious betrayal of trust in marriage. I put this right up there with infidelity. Also, you have to know that a woman who had permiscuous life style before M has high likelihood of infidelity during M as well.
Re: My wife the liar, how could she do this to me.
I'm assuming your a Christian. As a Christian you have to forgive her if she asks for it.
Unless you can prove adultery you can't divorce her and go looking for a real virgin.
From the lack of info I have to assume she has led a fine Christian life and done a wonderful job taking care of you and raising two wonderful girls.
I think you have saved this woman and she now sounds like a better person than you have become. You need to ask her forgiveness also. Talk to your pastor.
You certainly aren't acting man enough to save your family. I sure wish and pray this was the biggest problem posters on this site had to face.
In case I haven't made myself clear, I think your being ridiculous.
Re: My wife the liar, how could she do this to me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by chapparal
I'm assuming your a Christian. As a Christian you have to forgive her if she asks for it.
Unless you can prove adultery you can't divorce her and go looking for a real virgin.
From the lack of info I have to assume she has led a fine Christian life and done a wonderful job taking care of you and raising two wonderful girls.
I think you have saved this woman and she now sounds like a better person than you have become. You need to ask her forgiveness also. Talk to your pastor.
You certainly aren't acting man enough to save your family. I sure wish and pray this was the biggest problem posters on this site had to face.
In case I haven't made myself clear, I think your being ridiculous.
Not true really. There are a bunch of bible verses that indicate that he can divorce based on this, especially if he was a virgin. I would personally just do a lie detector test and ask questions like why she married him, if she was afraid of losing him, etc... One thing that needs to happen is those friends need to disappear.
Re: My wife the liar, how could she do this to me. 
