Wife is have an long distance EA

aug · 11-07-2011, 09:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by caferacer

So she left to talk to the OM. I walk in to the kitchen and I see her laptop so I wriggle the mouse
The screen comes to life on the f'ing web site with a chat room up. She was telling everyone how she
Going to leave me and kick me out. She doesn't know that I know this and I am not going to tell her. It is time
To execute the divorce plan.
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Well, there you go.

Being a nice guy in this type of situation seldom is to your advantage.

Shaggy · 11-07-2011, 09:45 PM

Since its a cheating site for married people there is a damn good chance OM is married, that gives you a way to take him down!
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Shaggy · 11-07-2011, 09:45 PM

Oh, and the cheater is the one who leaves. The moment she is out the door, cancel joint credit cards and separate money.
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caferacer · 11-07-2011, 09:54 PM

Luckily we only have two joint checking accounts.

The OM is married and I have his cell number. Should I try and track his wife down and let her know?
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Shaggy · 11-07-2011, 09:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by caferacer

Luckily we only have two joint checking accounts.

The OM is married and I have his cell number. Should I try and track his wife down and let her know?
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Yes, but do not , repeat do not , mention it in any way or threaten to contact the OM to your wife. Just fid her number and contact her tomorrow whie he is at work. Tell her the whole thing.
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TRy · 11-07-2011, 10:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by caferacer

She was telling everyone how she Going to leave me and kick me out. She doesn't know that I know this and I am not going to tell her. It is time To execute the divorce plan.
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Now that you have nothing to lose, why not tell her right now that you have had enough and that you are filing for divorce immediately. This will let you go out holding your head high with some dignity and self respect. Do this right now. Beat her to the punch.

Entropy3000 · 11-07-2011, 10:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by caferacer

So I just had a long talk with her and told her that she needs to end this EA. Found out she signed up for some web site for married people to flirt on and that is where she met the guy. She told me that she did not make the decision lightly to join the web site but I was not listening to her when she would tell me how unhappy she was.

She told me that she is not ready to end it and stop going to this web site because that means she would be jumping back to right where she was. Basically she is very angry with me and does not feel guilty about doing this even though she knows it is wrong.

I asked her take the step and end the EA to give us a chance. I said that if she does that and is still unhappy then we will separate but that we will never be able to take that step until she ends the EA. She said she needed some time to think and that she was going to go for a drive and that she was going to call him. F'ing sucks but at least she was honest about it.

I have to sit here and wait for her to get back. I don't really know what her decision will be and the waiting sucks. She knows that if she comes back and tells me that she wants to continue on this web site and EA then we are over. I want to work it out but I'm not so sure about her. I may be finding a new place to live soon.

She is trying to humiliate you. This is a power play. She wants space.

I would change the locks. She is no longer your wife.

Entropy3000 · 11-07-2011, 10:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by caferacer

She came back fairly quickly. She told me that she didn't talk to him. I assume that to mean that she called and he didn't answer. She just came in to the room and told me that she expects him to call later tonight.

Inside I am raging but I kept my cool and just shrugged. I think she is testing me to see if I am going to freak out so she can say "See? You are out of control!" or whatever her thought might be. Basically, if I keep my cool and don't make a bid deal then I think she will be more willing to work to get back together.

She is indeed testing you. You are failing the test however.

Entropy3000 · 11-07-2011, 10:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by caferacer

Guys,
I really appreciate your words and advice but I am not even close to the step of throwing her out. I want to make this work and doing something like that will be a quick end that I am not ready for.

And this is to your extreme detriment. You are letting her humiliate you. That is not attractive. She and her OM are getting off on it. She likes telling you that you are subserviant to her Alpha male. That you and she must wait until he calls. He calls the shots.

Watch out for some absurd demands of humiliation of this guy humliating you with your wife. She is getting off on the idea of cuckolding you.

lordmayhem · 11-07-2011, 10:20 PM

Wow. Pretty much in your face now. She's going to kick YOU out? I don't think so. This your established residence and the marital home. She CANNOT kick you out, and whatever you do, don't let her kick you out. Of course, you can't really kick her out, but you can tell her to GTFO.

She's DEEP in the fog. You must file for D now and find out who the OMW is and expose the affair to her. Like others have said, don't give your WW any warning that you're going to do this, because she'll move to protect her OM and warn him. OM will just gaslight his wife, telling her some crazy man will attempt to contact her.

vickyyy · 11-07-2011, 11:49 PM

Expose the affair to OM,s wife.Do not leave your home, She is the one who should leave if she continues affair.

Eli-Zor · 11-08-2011, 12:42 AM

I hope you took copies of her chats , and you know now she is using company assets to conduct her affair .
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caferacer · 11-08-2011, 05:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vickyyy

Expose the affair to OM,s wife.Do not leave your home, She is the one who should leave if she continues affair.

The problem is that I don't know if I candle the payment by myself.
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caferacer · 11-08-2011, 05:54 AM

So I now have the guy's full name and cell number. Hopefully I can figure out his wife from that.
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caferacer · 11-08-2011, 05:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eli-Zor

I hope you took copies of her chats , and you know now she is using company assets to conduct her affair .
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I wasn't able to get a copy of the chats unfortunately.
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I saw her iphone sitting on her nightstand so I took a peek at her email. It was full of emails from guys from that web site.