Re: What constitutes a serial cheater?
This topic has been on my mind - thanks for bringing it up. I, also, have researched trying to straighten out the distinction but still don't have a clear understanding.
I read the "Sociopath Next Door" and while it was interesting, I didn't think it exactly applied to my exH. Unless I misunderstand, it seems that sociopaths have no empathy whereas narcissists do but are skillful in turning it off so that they can justify that what they want is not bad. My exH had me so turned around in believing that his flirting meant nothing to him, that the questionable evidence was nonsense...just crazy women contacting him, that the realtor was on the up and up. All of it based on lies that I wanted to believe was the truth until I couldn't deny it any longer. And yet, when he heard of something sad happening to someone, he had a soft heart that melted & couldn't stand to see their hurt. I guess it was OK to have empathy when it didn't concern something that he did.
So my husband had 1 EA and 2 PAs (both of them involved him moving out with them) and probably more that I do not know of. He moved across the country with his current partner. We divorced almost a year ago and they are still together despite what the statistics say. He says that he finally learned and does not want to lie or cheat anymore because he is tired of it (he is 58 and she is 44). I do not see any evidence that he has truly "hit the wall" and he still says he misses me & wishes he was back. Does that qualify as cheating on her???
I believe the first few years he was somewhat "good". But as I think about it now, I see signs of his tendency thereafter (married 17 years). For the sake of understanding these type of people, is he a serial cheater and will he always be?