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Facebook Friend Request

23K views 121 replies 38 participants last post by  TaDor 
#1 ·
So my wife cheated on me before and I could be hyper vigilant but I have to ask opinions on this.

We just moved into a new house and some neighbors threw a welcome to the neighborhood party for us. At the party, there was one guy whose wife was disabled and looked really old and not very attractive. She has health issues.

The husband was nice enough.

Today, I checked her FB account and he sent her a friend request - but not to me. She accepted the request. I told my wife I thought it was strange he sent her a friend request but not me.

She just rolled her eyes and said she was so tired of it.

I just don't like it.

Feedback?
 
#7 ·
So what is it you don't like?

That he sent a friend request?

That she accepted it?

That you did not get one?

That she rolled her eyes and said she is tired of it?

Well most likely she was friendly, you were not, and he wants to **** your wife.
Yes, yes, yes and yes - I don't like any of it.
And yes, I too think that he wants to **** my wife.
 
#15 ·
And yes, I too think that he wants to **** my wife.
I expect there where a lot of guys there that wants to ***** your wife. The question is can your wife keep from making their wants become reality. My advice, stay away from parties and stay home in that new house you just had to have.
 
#13 ·
Your wife who cheated on you and then is dismissive is someone it is completely ok to be hyper-vigilant about. I wouldn't waste my time and I'd move on with my life. But given you don't seem to want to do that, I'd question any guy who face booked get and/or she befriends.
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#14 ·
Your wife who cheated on you and then is dismissive is someone it is completely ok to be hyper-vigilant about. I wouldn't waste my time and I'd move on with my life. But given you don't seem to want to do that, I'd question any guy who face booked get and/or she befriends.
That's what I think too - this guy is up to no good and I don't trust her to be faithful.

I'm going overseas next year but with the new house and all, it justn't wasn't practical.
 
#17 ·
My advice, stay away from parties and stay home in that new house you just had to have.
The new house was big reason to reconcile. At 55, I want a nice house to retire to in 10 or 12 years. I think it was a good move - and it's a beautiful house that backs up to a forest. I really like it.

But yea, that's the issue. This guy has an old disabled wife with health issues and he wants to **** my wife. Will she let him? That's the real question.
 
#18 ·
Why don't you just give her the ole heave ho and keep the house? At some point you need to quit d-cking around and make up your mind whether you really want to stay with a woman that put out to other guys. She ain't the kind of chick you can just leave to do your thing and expect her to keep the home fire burning. She may be too happy getting her hearth filled by wood from another cutter. You can't make a silk purse from a sows ear my man.
 
#19 ·
****ing Facebook man, plague of many a marriage. Your wife is a faithless filthy b!tch, make no mistake of that, higgs boson. The house was the reason you reconciled? I'd rather sleep in a bin.

You send the bastard a friend request and the next time you meet him, you better give him the impression that his wife won't be the only one disabled if he makes a wrong move. Preemptive strikes are your best friend.
 
#21 ·
@weltschmerz

You send the bastard a friend request and the next time you meet him, you better give him the impression that his wife won't be the only one disabled if he makes a wrong move.
My first thought was to send him a friend request.

My wife gave me all the login information for everything I asked for and she knows I monitor her account. It could be innocent on her part. I mean, is she going to decline the new neighbors friend request after he threw us a party?

I know what this guys up to but its her I'm worried about. I already went through a year focusing on the AP and its just a waste of time. If its not him then it'll be some other *******.
 
#62 ·
@weltschmerz
My wife gave me all the login information for everything I asked for and she knows I monitor her account. It could be innocent on her part. I mean, is she going to decline the new neighbors friend request after he threw us a party?
Yes. She knows the issues in your marriage, why even lead up to the eye rolling and complaining?

Still, go ahead and excuse her actions under the guise of being polite.
 
#25 ·
Stop being a hostage keeper. If you don't trust her at this point, then you are just wasting your time. You don't want anyone else to have her because she "belongs" to you, so you hang on like a dog with a bone.

It is not about her, it's about you. If you don't trust her and that is a cornerstone of a good marriage, then you don't have a good marriage. Period. Not an otherwise good marriage or a great in every other area marriage, it's not a good one. It's like a 3 legged racehorse. It'd be great with 4 legs, but it's still a good horse. You can't ride it, it can't pull anything, you have to tend to it all the time, but you can try to sell its semen.

At 55, you need to fix your issues or move on. In either event, stop keeping a hostage. Hyper vigilant sounds better, but it's just a fancy way of saying hostage keeping.
 
#26 ·
She's so tired of what? Boundaries? Well, tough sh*t sweetie, that's marriage.

Him friend requesting her and not you is a red flag. He wants to connect with her but not you. Now ask yourself...why would a man want to connect with a woman but not her husband?

Listen my friend. Nip this sh*t in the bud. In 2016 the male human has been so neutered by neo-feminist nazi'ism that he sits back while his wife gets close with other men. NIP THIS SH*T IN THE BUD RIGHT NOW. Especially with a woman that has already cheated. There are no opposite sex friends for her. She blew that trust. NIP IT NOW!
 
#28 ·
This happens to us all the time. We had never considered it concerning. People friend request only me, I guess because I am outgoing, social, friendly. Men and women alike. I never thought it was because they want to b0ne me.

From my standpoint, I wouldn't have even thought twice about it, but I know that you did because of her former A. That would be exhausting always having to worry. Gag.
 
#30 ·
You think nothing of it because you ladies never see it coming. You do the "oh, he's just a nice guy." "He's a friend that I have some things in common with, it's not like that." "He's like a brother to me." "Don't be gross, we're just friends."

It's as old as Moses. You guys never see it coming. Those male "friends" of yours? Every single one of them wants to bone you. The first time you would give any indication whatsoever, and however subtle, that you'd be open to that, then they'll start driving hard to the hoop. Until then, they bide their time being a good "friend" to you.
 
#29 ·
Let's be honest, your marriage is not a firm foundation, she cheated, she's not really remorseful, there is no trust, your not leaving her, you buy a house, your leaving the country next year, whether she cheats on you while your living there or she waits to cheat when you leave next year doesn't matter, either way, that house you brought to retire in will be used by her new guy when you get back....i am still trying to understand your game plan?
 
#31 ·
There is a chance that he decided to friend request the both of you, but could only find your wife. This happens to me often, I’ll go looking for someone specific on facebook and for some reason, I cannot find them. For instance, when I lived in another city 15+ years ago, I had a gay make best friend. We worked together and spent a lot of time together shopping, tanning, getting our hair done, going to lunch, etc. He was the best “girlfriend” I’d ever had! I kept in touch with him for years after I moved back to my home town, then it started dwindling down as long distance contact goes, phone number changes, etc. I looked high and low for him on facebook and could never find him. I mean, I didn’t try constantly, just here and there over the years. I finally found him about a year ago. (this is not a real name, but a similar variation) He always went by Cliff. And he was named after his dad and grandfather, so when he would write his name, he would write Cliff Jones III. When I finally found him, he was listed as Clifford Jones 3. That simple variation was enough to not be able to find him for years.

So there is a SLIGHT chance that he didn’t request you because he couldn’t find you – for some reason. Facebook can be weird like that. How many friends does this guy have? Is he a friend hoarder? Or is his facebook more ‘intimate’. I have friends who work in sales who will friend request ANYONE they interact with on a sales basis. I have quite a few friends who sell cell phones and sell cars. All of them are like that, new customer – they send a friend request. I’ve also noticed that, at least around here, people running for offices are sending out friend requests left and right. I recently became friends with the guy running for county prosecutor. I received a friend request from his opponent as well. I actually received about 5 requests this weekend, all from people running for different offices here in town. I only accepted the one from the guy running for county prosecutor – because he was the prosecuting attorney on the case I sat jury for a few years back – attempted murder – and I have ridiculous respect for him, he did an AMAZING job, and his opponent is a psycho nut job.

However, it could be very possible this guy wants to bang your wife. If he does, I’m sure you’ll start to see signs soon.

The part that bothers me about this is NOT that he friend requested your wife – it’s her REACTION to it. That’s your problem.
 
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