Keeping the OM safe, means you are valuing him more than your husband in your husbands eyes. Tell the OMW Posted via Mobile Device
That's exactly what he is saying, and when d/day occured, I told him that I didn't want to do that to his family, hubby was furious with me that I should feel the need to protect him and his family. Grrrr, I know it has to be done, but even after all these months, does it make sense? is it revenge? Hubby wants to do it at x-mas time and ruin his holidays just as his holidays were ruined last year.
I just feel it is pointless at this time, but on the other hand it would also show hubby that I am supporting him on this decision.
Honestly is there ever a good time for a wife to find out about his cheating husband? Let him do it now, he is more important than your OM's holiday Posted via Mobile Device
On another thread you claim OMW already knew about the affair, yet on this one you say she was suspicious about it- which one is it? I hope your not trying to lie again about what this woman really knows.
Quote:
Hubby wants to do it at x-mas time and ruin his holidays just as his holidays were ruined last year.
This is his decision and you're either with him ALL the way, or not with him at all. That's the way I see it- If your not with me, then you're against me. It sounds like your still protecting him(OM) from ANY fallout... I wouldn't be to forgiving about that.
In your initial post in this thread you said there had never been infidelity on either side before your affair. Now ur saying ur husband had two ONS. In ur other thread u said OMW knew of the affair. Now you've said she doesn't know. Which is it? People can't give you advice if you're giving different versions of your story/facts. We can't help if you aren't going to tell us one version of the real story. Posted via Mobile Device
That's exactly what he is saying, and when d/day occured, I told him that I didn't want to do that to his family, hubby was furious with me that I should feel the need to protect him and his family. Grrrr, I know it has to be done, but even after all these months, does it make sense? is it revenge? Hubby wants to do it at x-mas time and ruin his holidays just as his holidays were ruined last year.
I just feel it is pointless at this time, but on the other hand it would also show hubby that I am supporting him on this decision.
You stated asking what else can you. Now that hubby has asked, you are balking. Guess you have reached the limit of what you will actually do to get back with hubby.
Whie motivation, revenge or not, or of this matters is not something you should be questioning.
If you want to mske up for your cheatng and get back with hubby, then you should not only be doing what he asks, but asking him how you can help do it.
Oh, and the OM definitely needs to feel some of the love from you hubby. Btw this is your chance to show your hubby through action who you really choose. Posted via Mobile Device
Working, I think your husband's old ONS can explain your lack of affection for him, but it, by no means , can explain your lack of respect for him, during your own affair. For you to choose the OM over your husband , to his face, is quite frankly horrible. I strongly urge you, in the name of decent behavior, to show him this thread. He should have knowledge that there is life after marriage and that he deserves a loyal, honest, loving , and respectful wife, Sadly, you are none of these. Fix your own issues, and let him go.
That's exactly what he is saying, and when d/day occured, I told him that I didn't want to do that to his family, hubby was furious with me that I should feel the need to protect him and his family. Grrrr, I know it has to be done, but even after all these months, does it make sense? is it revenge? Hubby wants to do it at x-mas time and ruin his holidays just as his holidays were ruined last year.
I just feel it is pointless at this time, but on the other hand it would also show hubby that I am supporting him on this decision.
Working, when will you ever support your husband? How can he feel you are truly his, and loyal to him, if you continue to protect the OM. You chose the OM once before, and I'm sure that every day that you keep covering for him, it must seem to your husband that you are continuing to show who you REALLY love, and it isn't him.
In your initial post in this thread you said there had never been infidelity on either side before your affair. Now ur saying ur husband had two ONS. In ur other thread u said OMW knew of the affair. Now you've said she doesn't know. Which is it? People can't give you advice if you're giving different versions of your story/facts. We can't help if you aren't going to tell us one version of the real story. Posted via Mobile Device
Yeah, I haven't been clear, the OW had suspicions, and had even posted that her husband was cheating on her. She couldn't prove it, and did not have any evidence.
As for my husband, I did not want to mention that he had two ONS 20 years ago, I originally didn't feel it was relevent, and that it would perhaps deter from my original question.
I'm not a troll, just wasn't being clear in my posts. Hopefully it's clear now.
I've also read your whole thread and wish to offer hope and a suggestion.
I think a situation I had is a little similar to yours. My wife had an EA. I've always been quiet, but tough in emotional situations. But, the EA really hurt me, more than I thought I ever could be.
She's been good to me. But, it took us a while to figure out what I needed. She tried doing a lot of stuff for me. But, what I really needed was little tokens of affection and time for just us. Things I do are hold her hand when I don't feel like it, write her poems to make me think of what I love about her and stuff like it that.
It's true that it will never be the same for you, and a PA is surely worse for a man to deal with. But, remember that every day changes the world, yourselves and your husband. Nothing is ever the same as it was yesterday or last year.
As for my husband, I did not want to mention that he had two ONS 20 years ago, I originally didn't feel it was relevant, and that it would perhaps deter from my original question.
Sorry about that.
Not to justify your husband's ONS so correct me if I'm wrong, didn't you also say they happened before the two of you were engaged to be married?
Re: What Else Can I do? 
