When you are feeling weak toward your wife, please remember that the ONLY reason she is crying, begging and pleading with you to stay is because she is scared of what her life will be without your security...because she said herself the next door guy is only in it for the sex.
She realizes she will have no companion and just a f*ck buddy. And guess what? F*ck buddies don't have any financial obligations to her.
Drop her yesterday. How the hell can you possibly even think of staying with this woman???
Thanks for your replies, you very much say out loud what I have on my mind.
I have zero trust in her. I think she just hangs around until she gets a place to move out. She says it's not so, but her words are not very convincing to me. I refuse to set me up for backstabbing again.
The OM is not the issue anymore, I called him, he got scared ****less and tried to deny everything. He said she claimed we were legally separated, and he didn't truly know our martial status "but they were just friends anyway". He is a career Marine here and am just a nerd, but he seemed really afraid of the possibility of any physical confrontation with me.
Turn him in to the Marine Corps. They will take care of him.
Your wife is corrupt and she comes from a corrupt family. I wouldn't trust a single thing she says from this point forward.
Take care of yourself and go to a lawyer about custory of your children.
Oh yeah! You deserve better. She came from a trashy background, and will just lay low for a while if you R, and then do it all over again. Its better to get out while you are still young; and make a good marriage with someone who will really love and respect you. I am so sorry you are going through this.
It does seem she is full of it, but maybe her loosing sleep and weight is a sign of real regret. I wouldnt say jump right into trusting her again. Maybe be seperated and move out, see how she acts then.
While there are instances where reconciliation is possible, this isn't one of them. It wasn't bad enough that the MIL knows about it but is cosigning her actions? And correct me if I'm wrong but you stated that one of the times they hooked up was on your birthday?
As I stated before on this board, in cases like this, you know what you have to do. It's sort of similar to when that kid was forced to put down Ole Yeller. You love and remember the good times but just like the story, the person you love is not the same and will likely never return. You have to put the dog (this marriage) down.
As many posters here have stated, you should not file as a ploy of revenge; you should file as a way to get some of your self-worth back. The only reason she is tearing up right now is because she has the best of both worlds (defined as cake-eating). She gets to screw the OM with no strings attached AND at his best. Since she doesn't live with him, she doesn't know any of his faults or flaws. That is why she can rattle off one negative thing after another concerning you. Even if some of them aren't true, you are still regarded as persona non grata by her and her mother. At the same time, you provide the stability, reliability, and resources that only being with you can provide. She knows that the OM is not the least bit interested in paying the bills, taking the kid to the zoo, or holding hands with her at the mall; that's where you come in.
Upset that apple cart and move on with your life. There are other women out there who will value you a lot more than she does. A helluva lot more... Posted via Mobile Device
Upset that apple cart and move on with your life. There are other women out there who will value you a lot more than she does. A helluva lot more... Posted via Mobile Device
You sound like a nice person. There are many decent women out there that are looking for someone just like you. They are telling there mothers that all the good ones are either married or gay. When you get divorced, you will not be married or gay and they will value you like your wife never has. You will look back and ask yourself why you waited so long to find happiness with a good woman.
She has intermittent panic attacks, speech comprehension problems and her blood pressure was through the roof last few days. Hypertension was in fact the problem that put her on life support during the labours years ago. I take no pleasure in her misery. Am letting her to calm down.
The plan was to divorce, but I don't know now. I heard what everyone had to say here, and agree to all the good points that were said. I might be too weak a person to just break it off. I will just wait in my limbo a bit and see.
Of course she says she learned her lesson, but I don't take her as any kind of information source.
The answer, Shaggy, is - I don't know. I am actually quite apathetic and emotionally removed from all this now.. it's how I imagined antidepressants work on people, except I take no pills.
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Re: To D or not to D? 
