lisa3girls

WH moved out about 3 weeks ago, proclaiming he wanted to help and be involved in the kids lives. To date he has gone to ONE lacrosse game, taken them to two movies-- so about 6-8 hours in total.
Anyway, today, my 17 year old daughter, on her way to work, got a flat tire. It was like 7 in the morning on her way to work. Rather than call me, she called her father who lives with the OW.

So rather than get up and drive the 5 miles to help her with the tire, he calls AAA and lets her sit there for 2 hours waiting...really??? I guess it must of been too hot in bed with the ***** or something to bother helping his kid.

Bartimaus

Well Lisa,if it was cold outside you wouldn't want him to get out of a warm bed with the ***** (teddy bear or fido the pet dog? I don't get it!) And go out in the cold weather would you?

lisa3girls

Yeah, I guess not... what a jerk really. All talk, no action.

Bartimaus

Sorry Lisa,I was just trying to funny and get you to laugh.
To address your concern,he may want to remain in good standing with the children yet not have to go to far out of his way. Maybe he does love them more than we know.
About you being too critical, that seems to be normal for us all when betrayed. And some of us want justice and perhaps revenge more than others. I want this so bad that sometimes I want to kick myself because she treated me so wrong for so long. And if I could I would have any man vomit should she smile or flirt with him. It seems that nothing she is doing is proper and it doesn't seem fair! It's not easy when they have at least a part of your heart and they are not doing right at all. Hang in there and try not to dwell on him to much.

onthefence16

sounds like he's still selfish to me.....a man that won't get out of bed to help thier child is not a man but a slime ball.......My son has a slime ball dad....we havn't been together since my son was 3.5 months old....he was always a slime ball to my son....never went above and beyond for him.....don't sweat it Lisa...your children will make their own conclusions about him....my son has....he doen't want anything to do with him.....

that_girl

You are seeing who he is. From this point on, expect to do EVERYTHING on your own.

My ex decided 2 years ago that doing his music was more important than having a job or a home for our daughter to visit him in (he used to have her 1/2 the week for her whole life!). Now she is with me full time (she told him she didn't think he was being a good dad so she would live with me full time), he couch surfs (he's 37), has no money, no car, no job. Do I judge? Nope. My daughter sees who he is the older she gets and she's like, "ew"...I say nothing. She now sees him once maybe every 3 months. When his phone is in service, they text daily.

What I'm saying is, I have seen who he is. I don't judge him...he's creating his own hell ...a hell which he won't realize until he's older, our daughter is older and may not want anything to do with him. Not my problem. i do the best I can for our kid. I don't rely on him for ANYTHING...and it's given me much liberation to just let those expectations go. Take him out of the equation for raising your kids and you will find more peace.

I know it's hard...and you don't want to do this or think this, but...right now it's the reality.

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lisa3girls

That_grl I guess I hoped off all the lies and deception, at least he really meant to be there for the kids. The girl needs to know more than EVER that she is meaningful to him, but apparently no meaningful enough.

that_girl

Well, as hard as it is, your daughter is learning she can't count on her dad. You say nothing, and the truth comes out.

Shame on him...yes. He's not being a good father. That's HIS choice. A choice he'll have to deal with for the rest of his life because kids aren't stupid, nor do they forget.

Your girl is old enough to tell her that her dad is just blinded in the fog. It's not your daughter's fault that he's an *******. It just is what it is. It sucks, and it's sad, but this is who he is right now.

My 12 year old sees her dad for who he is. We talk about it. I say nothing bad about him, in fact, I defend him (even though I think he's a turdbucket). But i just tell her that life is about choices...it's not because she's NOT important to him, or special or whatever...her dad just made a bad choice.

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HerToo

He's a piece of dung! I have a daughter over 5 hours away at college. And if she ever called and needed my help, I'd be there as fast as possible.

Shaggy

Lisa, think of it this way - he has now educated his daughter that she can stop wasting her time with him when she needs help.

He doesn't realize this yet, but he just did a major push away to her that she won't forget.

that_girl

Yep, Shaggy. And when the time comes when he does want to connect again, she'll dismiss it and he'll wonder "wtf?" ....he just damaged something that he doesn't realize. Poor idiot.

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DanF

Yeah Lisa, he's a turd.
I would get up at any hour to help a family member if needed. I can't imagine leaving a sister, niece, or daughter on the side of the road for 2 hours.

that_girl

My husband (when we were only dating for 2 weeks) rescued me on the side of the road at 11:30 at night on Christmas Eve.

lol.

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joe kidd

You are seeing what his priorities are now. I betting deep down all these years you always knew......his needs will always come 1st to him.

lisa3girls

I did... if I am honest with myself, I knew this to be true.... amazing though how he always made it seem like he was last on the family list for everything... like a spoiled child having a tantrum. Amazing.