My husband is texting a female co worker
 Talk About Marriage
  The Marriage Advice and Relationship Help Forums
  right
Forums - For Therapists - Link to Us - Advertise  

    A Public Forum Provided by The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory
Register FAQ Community Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Coping with Infidelity » My husband is texting a female co worker

Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 11-19-2011, 10:46 AM   #1 (permalink)
Registered User
 
angelica333's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 4
Default My husband is texting a female co worker

my husband is texting a female co worker, after telling him i dont like it he is still carrying on, hiding it and has now put a pin lock on his phone so i cant check it. I've been ok with their friendship for months as im not a jealous person, but lately she texts him at silly times of night, when we had a week off together and now even after he told her i didnt like it, she still does it but what makes me cross is he still replied. she makes out that she doesnt want to upset me but if she didnt, she would have stopped. they see each other every day so its not as if its nothing that cant wait til the next day. The message on our week off said "miss you" and my husband lied to me and i only knew it said that cos i checked his phone, cos i knew he was lying. we argued about it last night and he claims its only friendship but he is sooo naive when it comes to women and even he has to admit if it was a man texting me those things he would be jealous. i wanna tell her how much shes upsetting me but i dont want to give her the satisfaction, also shes posting things on facebook like " romantic meal for two with my husbands name" all my friends and family saw it, was so embarrassing! what shall i do people? xxx
angelica333 is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 11-19-2011, 11:01 AM   #2 (permalink)
TRy
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,667
Default Re: My husband is texting a female co worker

Quote:
Originally Posted by angelica333 View Post
my husband is texting a female co worker, after telling him i dont like it he is still carrying on, hiding it and has now put a pin lock on his phone so i cant check it. I've been ok with their friendship for months as im not a jealous person, but lately she texts him at silly times of night, when we had a week off together and now even after he told her i didnt like it, she still does it but what makes me cross is he still replied. she makes out that she doesnt want to upset me but if she didnt, she would have stopped. they see each other every day so its not as if its nothing that cant wait til the next day. The message on our week off said "miss you" and my husband lied to me and i only knew it said that cos i checked his phone, cos i knew he was lying. we argued about it last night and he claims its only friendship but he is sooo naive when it comes to women and even he has to admit if it was a man texting me those things he would be jealous. i wanna tell her how much shes upsetting me but i dont want to give her the satisfaction, also shes posting things on facebook like " romantic meal for two with my husbands name" all my friends and family saw it, was so embarrassing! what shall i do people? xxx
When your husband admitted that he would be jealous if you did the same thing, he is also admitting that you have a right to be jealous. The fact that he will not stop it tell you that he does not care about your legitimate feelings. The OW's FB posting about a romantic dinner with your husband confirms that the other woman is after your husband for more than just being friends.

It is time to put up or shut up. Your husband thinks you will do nothing as he pursues a romantic relationship with this other woman. Call a divorce attorney and set up a meeting. Learn your rights. Do not hide the fact that you are speaking with an attorney. Let him know that there cannot be 3 in a marriage and that he has a choice to make. Do not cry or beg. Let him know that you mean business. The sooner you put a stop to this the better your odds of saving your marriage if it in fact can be saved.
TRy is online now   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-19-2011, 11:17 AM   #3 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 108
Default Re: My husband is texting a female co worker

Forget about convincing the other woman about anything. she didn't make vows to love and cherish you forever and she owes you nothing (beyond common human courtesy which she apparently lacks).
Your husband is being way out of line because he's on a dangerous road, and he's intentionally disregarding your valid feelings. It appears that he's been friends with her for awhile with your knowledge and you haven't expressed your thoughts/concerns on this very strongly, so he continues.
You need to blow this out of the water now, vigorously, like TRy says. The course it's on now is headed for trouble (already is there i'd say).
StrangerThanFiction is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-19-2011, 11:24 AM   #4 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 811
Default Re: My husband is texting a female co worker

He is having an affair with her emotional at least, right under your nose.... it is time to put down the hammer.
lisa3girls is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-19-2011, 11:44 AM   #5 (permalink)
Member
 
that_girl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Wherever I lay my head.
Posts: 10,286
Default Re: My husband is texting a female co worker

Quote:
Originally Posted by lisa3girls View Post
He is having an affair with her emotional at least, right under your nose.... it is time to put down the hammer.
I agree. It's not the fact that it's a woman friend. it's the fact that he is sneaking it, lying and not stopping when he knows it bothers you.
__________________

Real women don't want flowers and chocolate.
They want vodka and Taco Bell.
that_girl is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-19-2011, 11:57 AM   #6 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,144
Default Re: My husband is texting a female co worker

I agree with Lisa. My friendship, which it actually was, turned into an affair via texting, emails, phones calls, FB, etc.

This cheater see that you have a cheater on your hands.
HerToo is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-19-2011, 12:03 PM   #7 (permalink)
Registered User
 
angelica333's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 4
Default Re: My husband is texting a female co worker

yes my sister's marriage ended after her husband was texting and seeing another woman, so im very sensitive to texting and i told him that after what happened to my sister, but it seems to have all gone in one ear and out the other, either that or he just doesnt care.
angelica333 is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-19-2011, 12:09 PM   #8 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,144
Default Re: My husband is texting a female co worker

Is the OW married? If so, call her H and let him know what's going on. If not, tell your H to reveal all (texts, emails, logins for FB and anything else), or get out. Why be married to someone who is playing you for the fool.

Sorry this is happening to you. We cheaters suck and need to be dealt with harshly. If not, we keep doing it.
HerToo is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-19-2011, 12:10 PM   #9 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 108
Default Re: My husband is texting a female co worker

Quote:
Originally Posted by angelica333 View Post
but it seems to have all gone in one ear and out the other, either that or he just doesnt care.
He doesn't care because he thinks you're not going to do anything more than "nag" a little. You need to change that perception of his quick by taking strong action.
StrangerThanFiction is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-19-2011, 12:16 PM   #10 (permalink)
Registered User
 
angelica333's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 4
Default Re: My husband is texting a female co worker

well he said i could talk to her and i'd see they're just friends and she's great but i dont care,when he married me, he chose to let no one pull us apart and to be faithful to me, mentally as well as physically, over everyone. shes a 22 year old single girl and i agree i will not be played like a fool. he just doesnt understand that she's texting him cos she likes him, he thinks its just friends, but even he admitted her telling him she missed him was strange, im just so angry they're still doing it and showing a complete disregard for my feelings!
angelica333 is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-19-2011, 01:24 PM   #11 (permalink)
TRy
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,667
Default Re: My husband is texting a female co worker

Quote:
Originally Posted by angelica333 View Post
im just so angry they're still doing it and showing a complete disregard for my feelings!
We all have told you what to do yet you do not even respond to us about this advice. Looks like your husband is right about you doing nothing about it, which is why he has a "complete disregard for" your feelings.

Your current path will lead to the end of your marriage, but your fear of taking action is preventing you from changing course. You have little time to act to even have a chance at saving your marriage. The longer that you wait, the less likely that taking action will work.
TRy is online now   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-19-2011, 01:41 PM   #12 (permalink)
Registered User
 
angelica333's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 4
Default Re: My husband is texting a female co worker

I have already taken action and told him it must stop but it carries on, i am in no financial position to talk to a lawyer we cant even afford our rent or food. i do not have a fear of taking action i just know the only other action is talking to her and i know she will claim its just friendship so it will get me nowhere. we have been married for 6 months and i am not getting a divorce. i dont believe this is a romantic affair, it is just friendship but i still dont like her texting him when she knows i dont like it, who does she think she is? If i thought it was romantic, i would divorce him in a second.
angelica333 is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-19-2011, 01:45 PM   #13 (permalink)
Member
 
that_girl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Wherever I lay my head.
Posts: 10,286
Default Re: My husband is texting a female co worker

telling him to stop isn't working, is it.

Do you have a friend you can stay with this weekend? Let him come home to an empty house. Explain later when he contacts you.
__________________

Real women don't want flowers and chocolate.
They want vodka and Taco Bell.
that_girl is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-19-2011, 01:49 PM   #14 (permalink)
Member
 
tacoma's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Florida
Posts: 5,248
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by angelica333 View Post
I have already taken action and told him it must stop but it carries on, i am in no financial position to talk to a lawyer we cant even afford our rent or food. i do not have a fear of taking action i just know the only other action is talking to her and i know she will claim its just friendship so it will get me nowhere. we have been married for 6 months and i am not getting a divorce. i dont believe this is a romantic affair, it is just friendship but i still dont like her texting him when she knows i dont like it, who does she think she is? If i thought it was romantic, i would divorce him in a second.
You're in for some serious pain.
Posted via Mobile Device
tacoma is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-19-2011, 02:08 PM   #15 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Northeast
Posts: 472
Default Re: My husband is texting a female co worker

He needs to choose. Its as simple as that. It needs to happen NOW.

NO ONE deserves the level of disregard he is showing you.

One of my top fiuve jibs in my marriage is to make sure my wife feels secure.

She asked me not to respond to a particular female on FB and I dropped it like a rock and never looked back.

She would do the same.

This just friends crap is ridiculous and "romantic dinner" is beyond intentionally hurtubg you.

It looks to e like your husband is either stupid or mean.

I am so sorry he is such tone deaf to your needs.

You dont deserve it and he ought to apologize to your whole family.
YupItsMe is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Tags
texting female co worker

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.
User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Husband Texting Female Employee - Emotional Affair? beingliedto General Relationship Discussion 40 04-16-2014 04:04 PM
Texting Female Co-Worker drainedfemale Coping with Infidelity 66 11-12-2012 02:31 PM
NEED ADVICE: Husband w female co-worker murderedbynumbers The Ladies' Lounge 8 09-18-2011 10:35 AM
Husband texting female co-worker... bella77 General Relationship Discussion 14 10-11-2010 01:32 PM

Member Area

Find a Therapist:


Sponsor Ads


Sponsor Ads




Get The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory Help Guide via Email:
Name:
Email:




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 10:44 AM.



Copyright 2007 - 2013 © Talk About Marriage

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.