11-21-2011, 09:35 PM
Join Date: Oct 2011
| | Re: Support or 180
Originally Posted by HusbandInPain
Guys, come on. I have no idea if she slept with him or not. The reality is I probably will never know. I ask her a lot. But the reality is that what is more important to me is whether I am now getting the truth or not, rather than the specifics of what happened.
Since my last post I have taken a slightly different tack I thought I would share with you. I have said to her I am going to give her until Christmas to fully commit to the marriage. That will give us six weeks of counselling, and whatever time she needs. I have told her that by then either we have a new start underway or I make a new start on my own. I have told her I will be moving out on the 1st January if we have not made progress, as I will not be a lap dog for her whilst she sorts herself out. this is not a threat, I have already organised accommodation for myself should it come to it, and told her she has no right to know where I am going if I go.
I have also decided that I need to know the truth of whether she is contacting the OM still. So I have installed a micro VAR under the dashboard of her car, which she sits in all day making phone calls. I'll give it a few days, and then I will know the truth one way or the other.
She has picked up today a little - bringing home dinner, and suggesting we go for a walk together this evening, rearranging some work dates so we can spend more time together. I see hope, even if the cynic in me is waiting for another crushing blow. She definitely has feelings for the OM, and is fully prepared to admit it, and that she misses him. I see this as natural. However, what she needs to demonstrate to me now is the strength to resists making that call. If she does it from either of her mobiles I will know - theres a calllogger installed on both phones. And if she calls from the car on ANY phone, I will know. Ive had enough of being pissed on, so now I am removing options for her so I can find the truth. And then we will see.
I cannot imagine how painful it must be to realize that your wife prefers this guy to you, and pines for him. That must really suck, badly. Sorry she has done this to you.