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Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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Old 11-21-2011, 07:01 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Default Re: Counseling??

When I went to everyone and confessed, I was not judged or looked down on by any of my friends or family.
People make mistakes. Owning up to them and correcting them are what makes us honorable.
My people still love me, and we are all still in contact.
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Old 11-21-2011, 07:07 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Well, while you are waiting for him to confess everything to you (which you need to demand), you need to plan your exit strategy.

Hope for the best, be prepared for the worst. If you can't save him, at least save yourself.
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Old 11-21-2011, 07:28 PM   #18 (permalink)
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It's been 9 weeks since Dday,,, and I went through all the questions I feel he has lied about,, and tried to get him to answer them again..which are ones I get different stories about... which instead of wanting to help me understand and asking what I don't believe,, he just says "well as I have explained this to you 5 or 6 times,, it's not gonna matter what I say, you've got your mind made up so you need to figure out if you want to stay married"

And after arguing over it again,, he says " my answers don't change, you just hear what you want to hear" ( but they do change).

I don't know how much longer I have to wait for the truth?? Or if I ever will get it.

I know,,,I know what needs to be done,, yet I continue beating myself up over it... I guess talking on here and venting just helps,,, knowing I'm not alone. I'm in limbo and am just wanting something from him to let me know he is willing to help... But I don't think I'm going to get that.... unfortunately
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Old 11-21-2011, 07:46 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Your husband sounds very abusive to me, and is projecting anger at himself to you. He also sounds like a big fat baby.

Given his awful past, and what he did to you, do you really think you will be able to trust him ever again? I wouldn't. He sounds horrible. If I were you, I would get the F out of dodge before he does something dangerous.
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Old 11-21-2011, 07:48 PM   #20 (permalink)
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BTW, marriage counseling is pointless right now. He isn't remorseful, isn't willing to accommodate your needs. Counseling only works if he is.
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Old 11-21-2011, 08:10 PM   #21 (permalink)
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If my hubby had acted like that 9 weeks after D day I would NOT be with him today. Yours is being totally selfish. You need to take control here and kick him to the curb, or hit him with a 2 x 4, and make plans to get yourself OUT of this relationship.
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Old 11-21-2011, 09:53 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hope1964 View Post
If my hubby had acted like that 9 weeks after D day I would NOT be with him today. Yours is being totally selfish. You need to take control here and kick him to the curb, or hit him with a 2 x 4, and make plans to get yourself OUT of this relationship.
I know, it's hard though,,, was really hoping he would of been more willing to talk and feel remorse. Oddly enough I don't want to hurt him ( slap myself),, seeing how he didn't care to hurt me.

But I know he's not going to come clean to me so I know I'm going to have to threaten (or file 4) divorce and see if that changes his thinking and actions,,, sadly enough I doubt that it will.

I am hoping to hear back from OWH soon also. I am not sure when he is planned on confronting her with all the call and text records I e-mailed him, so we can compare stories that she tells him.
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