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Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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Old 11-23-2011, 05:13 PM   #31 (permalink)
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Default Re: Affair with my neighbor

That's friggin hilarious!!!!
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Old 11-23-2011, 05:38 PM   #32 (permalink)
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Default Re: Affair with my neighbor

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Originally Posted by AppleDucklings View Post
Yes, they really do. They fully expect us to embrace them and tell them that all will be ok. They expect a conversation to go something like this:

SLIMEWEASEL CRAP SACK CHEATER: I'm having an affair on my spouse, I know it's wrong but we are SO in love (note how they always say it's wrong but...)

US: Oh? Yes, it is wrong but it's love you say?

SLIMEWEASEL CRAP SACK CHEATER: Yes, it's love. My spouse doesn't give me any attention, and we've been drifting apart for years now. I love my spouse but I'm not in love and I deserve to be happy (see how it goes from knowing its wrong to blame shifting onto the spouse)

US: You know what. You are so right! How dare your horrid spouse, who we all bet has some sort of foul, repulsive body odor, not give you the attention you deserve. We don't blame you for finding love with someone else. In fact, we all bet that the new love is wonderful and smells lovely too.

SLIMEWEASEL CRAP SACK CHEATER: yes, my lover makes me very happy. They understand me and my spouse doesn't. If my spouse would have only listened to me when I needed them to, then I never would have fallen in love with someone else. They washed my undies with a red sock, now I have to wear pink undies and everyone makes fun of me. It's all my spouse's fault.

US: oh no! Not pink undies! You must divorce your spouse right away and marry your lovely-smelling lover. It is only right! You deserve white undies and someone who smells nice.

SLIMEWEASEL CRAP SACK CHEATER: Thank you for understanding. Yes, my spouse does smell very foul and pink undies make my ass look big, and this is why I can't wear undies when I am with my lover.

US: Awwwww, you poor unfortunate soul. How awful it must be for you to be married to that funky, foul fish who can't even wash laundry. You go be with your lover. It is only right after everything you been though! Oh, and don't worry, your spouse will not only completely understand, but they will give their blessing as well.

Yes, this is crazy and I wrote it that way on purpose. It's crazy because they are crazy! They do fully expect us to be understanding because "it's love"
How DARE the spouse not give their blessing! We only live once, right? Even more incredible when you read about cheaters who moan that the betrayed spouse is putting up such a fight/being difficult. Hmmm, let's see. They were lied to, cheated on, gaslighted, painted as less than and above all not consulted about a situation that directly affects them and their family, instead having the rug pulled out from underneath them and these cheaters want the betrayed to slink quietly in to the night to pave the way for the new person?
I certainly don't condone murder. Having said that, I can sympathize with a spouse that just goes nuts after finding out that everything they ever thought about their marriage was a lie and the person....the one person who was supposed to have their back was in fact laughing behind it.
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Old 11-23-2011, 05:39 PM   #33 (permalink)
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Default Re: Affair with my neighbor

You know. In the end the thing that busted my wifes affair was me agreeing to everything and not giving a sh1t.

Yes. It was a horrible marriage

Yes. I was horribly abusive during the period when you told me that you were going off with someone else.

The kids will be absolutely fine. They will adjust and be happy. I even found some stats to back it up!

I think you will be very happy together. Lets just split up the assets and move on with life!

I think the reason it worked is that the OP and my Ex knew exactly what they should be doing. They are already beating themselves up about the "children adjusting to a separate life"
More importantly they knew that their affair had a lifespan. It only works when it is part time. By pushing the Affair partners together you force them to look at reality. Which sucks. Big time

You lose 50% access to your kids [at best]
You are financially ruined.
You lose your real partner forever.
You lose your home.
You lose your security
Your children live in poverty, financial and emotional.
and most importantly..
You lose your future. It just vanishes. Affair partners don't look beyond the next meeting. The next email. The next fck.
They pretend to . They pretend they have a plan.

But. Mr OP. What is your plan?
I would really like to know how you imagine this will work out?
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Old 11-23-2011, 05:51 PM   #34 (permalink)
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Default Re: Affair with my neighbor

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You know. In the end the thing that busted my wifes affair was me agreeing to everything and not giving a sh1t.

Yes. It was a horrible marriage

Yes. I was horribly abusive during the period when you told me that you were going off with someone else.

The kids will be absolutely fine. They will adjust and be happy. I even found some stats to back it up!

I think you will be very happy together. Lets just split up the assets and move on with life!

I think the reason it worked is that the OP and my Ex knew exactly what they should be doing. They are already beating themselves up about the "children adjusting to a separate life"
More importantly they knew that their affair had a lifespan. It only works when it is part time. By pushing the Affair partners together you force them to look at reality. Which sucks. Big time

You lose 50% access to your kids [at best]
You are financially ruined.
You lose your real partner forever.
You lose your home.
You lose your security
Your children live in poverty, financial and emotional.
and most importantly..
You lose your future. It just vanishes. Affair partners don't look beyond the next meeting. The next email. The next fck.
They pretend to . They pretend they have a plan.

But. Mr OP. What is your plan?
I would really like to know how you imagine this will work out?
Ing, don't you know that OP imagines it will all be candy canes, gumdrops and rainbows? Can you not hear the happy music playing in the background? Paper hearts are raining down from the clouds, everyone is merry! BS couldn't be happier that the man she gave her vows to has found someone better, I mean after all, if she truly loved him, she would be happy for him. And the kids, well, the kids are just tickled pink for now they get to live in 2 different houses! How exciting is that for everyone!! And the BS, she is actually relieved to get every other weekend to herself now, so it works out to everyone's favor. And the OW and the BS will be the best of friends too. Let's not forget the betrayed husband too. He's happy to be forking over half his check that his wife can spend on the OM instead of their kids.
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Old 11-23-2011, 06:14 PM   #35 (permalink)
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Default Re: Affair with my neighbor

OP?....OP?.....

Do you want help or not?

You think facing the music is hard here? Wait till you try facing your wife and family.

The people here really do want to help. Even cheaters like you and I. I have gotten some wonderful help here, but the people are tough and very honest. We can - and have - collectively given you good advice. We're taking shots at you now while we wait to see if you really want help or not - sorry IMO it's mostly entertainment and some venting until either you return or we get bored. Even in the shots being fired at you there is truth and good advice.

Best of Luck.



We really need a popcorn smiley...
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Old 11-23-2011, 06:47 PM   #36 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by AppleDucklings View Post
Ing, don't you know that OP imagines it will all be candy canes, gumdrops and rainbows? Can you not hear the happy music playing in the background? Paper hearts are raining down from the clouds, everyone is merry! BS couldn't be happier that the man she gave her vows to has found someone better, I mean after all, if she truly loved him, she would be happy for him. And the kids, well, the kids are just tickled pink for now they get to live in 2 different houses! How exciting is that for everyone!! And the BS, she is actually relieved to get every other weekend to herself now, so it works out to everyone's favor. And the OW and the BS will be the best of friends too. Let's not forget the betrayed husband too. He's happy to be forking over half his check that his wife can spend on the OM instead of their kids.
Don't forget the camping holidays where all the kids and the BS with their new partners too, All six of you will share a laugh at the amazing good fortune they all found someone to be truly happy with.
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Old 11-23-2011, 07:12 PM   #37 (permalink)
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Default Re: Affair with my neighbor

If you are bound and determined to wreck the lives of everyone around you, and screw up your own flesh and blood kids, and yes they will make it, but who knows what of their psyche And If you do not intend to part with your deep dark diety little secret, to your wife-----

Be man enuff to stop your A., right now, and file for D.

Then stay away from your lover for at least one year, otherwise everyone will know, what you have/are doing

I am thinking, the right way, is not something you can handle, but if you can, at least, those around you, won't live in a world of misery, and hurt
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Old 11-23-2011, 08:28 PM   #38 (permalink)
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This thread makes some of us sad because it makes us look back over the time we spent with a cheating spouse and we know what this guy is doing and the total hell he is wanting to create for the spouses and children involved. And we know how foolish he is and what will happen to him and his cheating lover.
All in the name of love and his fantasy romance. Oh the lies and the hell that are done in the name of love! And it's a good guess that either he or the cheating neighbor woman may now become one that will go from affair to affair or lover to lover the rest of their life just to get that 'amore,o oh, 'amore...'
OP,it's also YOUR life and your cheater girlfriend that will be messed up along with your spouses and children.
Heed the advice and stop now! Just for the sex and romance they want,look at what these two are actually doing!
This guy makes me glad that I never flirted one time with that married hottie and mother of three that used to be our neighbors,,,though my WW did her flirting with the neighbor hotties husband.
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Old 11-23-2011, 08:52 PM   #39 (permalink)
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Heyunhappy, if you ever come back and read these comments, please at least do one decent thing, and let your poor wife know about this site, so we can help her.
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Old 11-23-2011, 09:04 PM   #40 (permalink)
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Maybe if you just swap the house numbers your neighbors husband will go to your house and just act like that's his family then you move next door and all is right in your world.
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Old 11-23-2011, 09:35 PM   #41 (permalink)
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Apple!

I think I'm in love with you!

You have, by far, the most awesome colorful language on this board.

I have to find me a librarian. I'm sensing those stereotypes have some truth to them. Lol.
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Last edited by alphaomega; 11-23-2011 at 09:47 PM.
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Old 11-23-2011, 09:45 PM   #42 (permalink)
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Crap sack. Hehehe. I'm going to use that one too!
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Old 11-23-2011, 09:56 PM   #43 (permalink)
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Apple I cannot understand why your asshat of an ex treated you so badly. He must have some serious mental issues.
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Old 11-23-2011, 10:36 PM   #44 (permalink)
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Apple I cannot understand why your asshat of an ex treated you so badly. He must have some serious mental issues.
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I don't know why he did either, and I don't know I stayed for so long, but the use of humor gets me through it.
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Old 11-23-2011, 10:38 PM   #45 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by alphaomega View Post
Apple!

I think I'm in love with you!

You have, by far, the most awesome colorful language on this board.

I have to find me a librarian. I'm sensing those stereotypes have some truth to them. Lol.
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awww schucks, making me blush
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