Re: husband's high school reunion and em with old girlfriend
Thank you for taking the time to reply. I can't believe that I am actually dealing with this after 5 years of self-doubt.
Over the last 10 years we have both suffered many lossess: his dad was killed in auto accident, he was hit by drunk driver, lost a business, his brother was killed in auto accident, my dad died of cancer and our son went off to college. I don't think that we have have dealt with any of it!!
And now....I'm just LOST AND CONFUSED!!! I want to do the best thing for us.
Honesty is so important to me and I just don't think I can stay unless he is willing to admit to it and agree to go to counselling. He is a good man in many ways (giving, loving, always willing to help others) but also very, very non-confrontational and passive-aggressive, too. Maybe, in his way, he wants this split to happen.
At this point I feel that I am not ever going to believe that he will stop contact. I have lost ALL TRUST. He has kept other things from me, not related to women (that I know about) but money. He pretty much does what he wants when it comes to money and has his network of friends that he talks with. We are really not emotionally linked at all.
And...he has been saying for years, that we have not had sex enough and that the marriage has been bad for him for 20 years because of that. There is a lot of resentment built up and I know that I am emotionally not there. It just makes me feel so sad that we have come to this.
On Sunday I stayed away from the house until about 6:00. When I came home and I asked him to tell me the truth about the hotel thing, he said, "That's your story and you have no idea what took place. I want to stay in our marriage and if we split up it will be up to you. You will have to make the decision to end it. "
I really don't know if he was with her at that hotel. All that I have is a little piece of paper (that I found in his desk0 with the hotel name and reservation confirmation #...and that long silence going home. I think that he believes that I somehow found out about the hotel meeting at the reunion on Sat nite, because I had not EVER brought up the hotel before. So, he is just not going to blatantly admit to what happened.
We have talked about his contact with her quite a few times over the past few years and he denies any kind of relationship with her, other than friendship.