First of all, I'm sorry. This worry is all consuming. Second, you need to decide what you want. Based on the fact that she cried all night tells me that you have the leverage. If something is going on she wants you and the family more.
So what do you want? Do you want to go to therapy? Ask. Do you want travel cut back? Ask. Or do you want more attention? Ask.
If you need to know, then you go to her and say, I want to talk about the other night. Watch body language, see how defensive she gets, etc. (please note some defense could be due to you nagging or asking about this too much)
And the be quiet. Let her squirm. Then if she goes off in one direction and then comes back to another, and is very upset and you can tell rattled. You say, "that's really disappointing I thought we were better than this and you could just be honest." And walk away calmly.
That sentence will plaque her with worry and eventually she will slip or confess. That is if she is guilty. It's important to not talk about the details. But stay quiet so she doesn't know what information you have.
After that you choose what you want. Do you want to fix it (reread top) or do you want to walk. Then you rally friends and family cause you will need support along with your decision.
My guess is you will stay and work on it. Make sure you go to a specialized marriage counselor that has training in infidelity.
Check out this article for awesome tips to help: http://www.southmetrocounseling.com/...ats-full-of-bs
And you work on what caused the stray. There's almost always a reason and a way to fix it (imo).
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