Hi I'm new. no disrespect for the Dead but Thanks A Lot Steve!!! for creating that stupid Iphone!!!
I found out a few weeks back my wife of ten years cheated on me. I first discovered by cracking her FB account and was floored to find an EA/PA from last year to april this year.
That day I decided to do nothing because we have a five year old daughter.
The next day I dug some more and found another dude!!!
also some flirtingpossible EA with a cousin that she visited in South America this year!
I had seen a text from him that said I love you so much I questioned her at the time but she blew it off. so I have a lot of evidence of infidelity. I am going through so many emotions now I don't know what to do. Unfortunatly the marriage has been difficult she is from South America She went through a lot of culture shock here. I have tried to love her help her in everything I have fought for the marriage the last three years she has really changed made new friends started going out a lot and got an iphone around then and starting texting all the time we went from 200 texts a month plan to unlimited quickly and she blocks the phone never lets me see gets annoyed if I bug her about it. There were a lot of signs a lot of things I guess I didn't want to believe. So I was blind as a bat. We would argue she was spending too much time with the friends and staying over at slumber parties because she didn't get to do it as a kid and they were going to drink so not to drink and drive. I told her it was wrong for a wife to stay out all night blah blah. I though about getting gps tracking for her car. I was more and more suspicous. to much texting and going out but the clincher she started to say "I'm just going out with "amigas" I'm not doing anything wrong"
--uh huh! I started looking up cheating habits and that is a classic line! I didn't think she was capable of cheating I helped get a visa for her Dad who lives with us now and helps with out daughter.
Everything I suspected and argued about I was right that phone
was the end of us she became more and more private and had a world in the phone and left me out. It's like she unofficially left the marriage in 2008 without telling me. Now ironically we are both going through the motions only she doesn't know I know.
I'm thorough the looking glass trying to act like everything is the same when my mind is exploding. I thought of six senarios
1) thought of three bad ideas (edited)
these are the three non starters and never really were in consideration the ones I'm left are
1) Divorce-- I've been down that road before this is my 2nd marriage I don't want a judge telling me I can only see my child half the time and have to support a Lying cheating B.... W....
2) Do nothing remain in limbo wait to figure it out somemore
3) Confront her and work out arrangement
So far I'm stuck in 2 which is hell but for my daughter. if not for her I'd divorce in a heartbeat. I did meet an attorney and he said file and do emergency restraining and kick her and her dad out which would be somewhat satisfying but we are struggling as it is I am about to start a 2nd job and I don't have any family here (texas) to help babysit
I'm worried she is a possible flight risk to south america but my daughter doesn't have a current passport and I put her on the alert program if a passport is filed.
I know she doesn't love me I've read it in enough fb messages between the OMen! arggh! and female friends that she would leave if the opportunity was there and how she wants nothing to do with me so I don't want to save the marriage I just want the best for my daughter the attorney said be the father of the year and I am trying to do that. Its hard but I'm trying to not think of other women or starting my own FB I'm being carefull to delete histories of my online doings. But I'm really jacked up
want to kick the OMen's butts and throw things around but I'm playing it cool for now.... thanks for reading any advice comments are welcome.