Catharsis of Confession - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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post #16 of 213 (permalink) Old 11-15-2016, 04:15 PM
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Re: Catharsis of Confession

lady,

curious, i have not read your history, so i can only go by what you have written here on this, do you have a problem demostrating emotions to these mens, in other words are your needs sexual fulfillment only and not emotional connection? also given your transgressions and how your husband has been willing to take you back, have you offered to all him to reach out to someone else perhaps as a hall pass perhaps as something else.

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post #17 of 213 (permalink) Old 11-15-2016, 04:19 PM
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Re: Catharsis of Confession

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I contend he shouldn't be hurt, so hurting him offers me no thrill. I have no desire to hurt anyone. I am not interested in anyone else's reactions or feelings, as a matter of fact. As was stated in another post, I made this all about me.
The thrill is in getting one over on him. Your ego knows, every time you plant a big fat kiss on your husband's lips. That's all it needs to get fed. Stop pretending you didn't enjoy emasculating him.

You think you're some enigma wrapped in a mystery but you sound like a textbook cheater to me. Nothing to see here....

“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” - Maya Angelou
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post #18 of 213 (permalink) Old 11-15-2016, 04:19 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Catharsis of Confession

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lady,

curious, i have not read your history, so i can only go by what you have written here on this, do you have a problem demostrating emotions to these mens, in other words are your needs sexual fulfillment only and not emotional connection? also given your transgressions and how your husband has been willing to take you back, have you offered to all him to reach out to someone else perhaps as a hall pass perhaps as something else.
He has carte blanche to do whatever he wants. I do not want to have any influence or control over him. He rejects my suggestion that he do as he pleases. Originally he was offended by it, now I think he just does not want the drama. But I suspect that one day he will.
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post #19 of 213 (permalink) Old 11-15-2016, 04:30 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Catharsis of Confession

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The thrill is in getting one over on him. Your ego knows, every time you plant a big fat kiss on your husband's lips. That's all it needs to get fed.

Again, you have it wrong. I get the ego stroking from the other men. I get a thrill out of making them do what I want and say what I want. I love it when they act like puppets. It's like....I don't usually understand what people say and do, but I can use sex to make men do things and it all makes sense. Men will do literally anything to get laid. With that carrot dangling in front of them I can make them dance and then the world makes sense and I feel really really good. If I could use any other weapon I would. But sex is the one that works best.

I hold H up above all of that. I have no reason to intentionally hurt him and nothing that does hurt him makes me feel good. I wouldn't be here writing all of this if I was feeling good about H. I know he is hurting. I don't want him to be hurt. Other than this one issue, he and I are a very good match. I don't want him in pain, even though it's a pain I can't comprehend or rationalize.
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post #20 of 213 (permalink) Old 11-15-2016, 04:30 PM
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Re: Catharsis of Confession

Saw this coming.

Pun not intended.
Posted via Mobile Device

Virginia: "Why can't you kids leave well enough alone? Everything was fine until you started digging around."

Burt: "You sound like a Scooby Doo villain."
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post #21 of 213 (permalink) Old 11-15-2016, 04:31 PM
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Re: Catharsis of Confession

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I've been through the wringer with doctors and specialists and drugs and therapists. For the most part I don't think any of them know di*k all what they are doing and at best it is a best guess scenario. I've been scanned and MRI'd and poked and prodded and hooked up to machines and wires and every bloody kind of test there is so I'm afraid I take exception to being told I have a misconception of the mental health industry. I've been inside the machine and it's broken.
Sorry. Not buying it. Your stance of knowing more than the healthcare professionals is classic. You're the one who is broken... and you choose to remain so. As others have said, do the decent thing and release your husband from this drama.
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post #22 of 213 (permalink) Old 11-15-2016, 04:33 PM
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Re: Catharsis of Confession

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Again, you have it wrong. I get the ego stroking from the other men. I get a thrill out of making them do what I want and say what I want. I love it when they act like puppets. It's like....I don't usually understand what people say and do, but I can use sex to make men do things and it all makes sense. Men will do literally anything to get laid. With that carrot dangling in front of them I can make them dance and then the world makes sense and I feel really really good. If I could use any other weapon I would. But sex is the one that works best.

I hold H up above all of that. I have no reason to intentionally hurt him and nothing that does hurt him makes me feel good. I wouldn't be here writing all of this if I was feeling good about H. I know he is hurting. I don't want him to be hurt. Other than this one issue, he and I are a very good match. I don't want him in pain, even though it's a pain I can't comprehend or rationalize.
And caused. You caused the pain.
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post #23 of 213 (permalink) Old 11-15-2016, 04:35 PM
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Re: Catharsis of Confession

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I get the ego stroking from the other men. I get a thrill out of making them do what I want and say what I want. I love it when they act like puppets. It's like....I don't usually understand what people say and do, but I can use sex to make men do things and it all makes sense. Men will do literally anything to get laid.
LMAO, the only one who got played was you in the van. Few compliments and down you went. Then he bounced.

“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” - Maya Angelou
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post #24 of 213 (permalink) Old 11-15-2016, 04:36 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Catharsis of Confession

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And caused. You caused the pain.

I own that. This is all my own doing.
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post #25 of 213 (permalink) Old 11-15-2016, 04:39 PM
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Re: Catharsis of Confession

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Other than this one issue, he and I are a very good match.
You mean other than giving your affair partners blowjobs in vans? He must feel like such a lucky guy!

Find a new counselor..... splurge a little. In fact, you'd make a fascinating case study for a team of them.


“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” - Maya Angelou
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post #26 of 213 (permalink) Old 11-15-2016, 04:40 PM
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Re: Catharsis of Confession

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Absolutely not. He was never supposed to get hurt. It is still my feeling that one person can't be hurt by the actions of another. If he didn't know what I did, it didn't affect him in any way at all. So only by knowing, he is hurt? That does not make sense to me. I explained the same thing to him last night when he told me about the woman who had been chasing him and sending him photos. He had been afraid to tell me and I said that was ridiculous. I didn't know, it didn't affect me, so how could it hurt me and why would I be angry? What he does is his own affair. But that is tangential to this post.

I contend he shouldn't be hurt, so hurting him offers me no thrill. I have no desire to hurt anyone. I am not interested in anyone else's reactions or feelings, as a matter of fact. As was stated in another post, I made this all about me.
I have personally Shot people while a soldier....they would seriously disagree with you. I have been shot, stabbed and lost half a hand to a grenade.....I disagree with you.

As would anyone beaten in the street.
Robbed at gun-point
battered spouses
battered children

Holes burn deep in your chest,
Raked by machine gun fire.
Screaming soul sent out to die,
Living mandatory suicide.
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post #27 of 213 (permalink) Old 11-15-2016, 04:41 PM
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Re: Catharsis of Confession

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You mean other than giving your affair partners blowjobs in vans? He must feel like such a lucky guy!
Yep, that's like saying that other than that hugeass hole in your head where the bullet just went, you're fine.
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post #28 of 213 (permalink) Old 11-15-2016, 04:42 PM
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Re: Catharsis of Confession

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Yep, that's like saying that other than that hugeass hole in your head where the bullet just went, you're fine.
Other than that, how was the play Mrs. Lincoln? - credit to @tech-novelist on that one.

“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” - Maya Angelou
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post #29 of 213 (permalink) Old 11-15-2016, 04:42 PM
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Re: Catharsis of Confession

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Again, you have it wrong. I get the ego stroking from the other men. I get a thrill out of making them do what I want and say what I want. I love it when they act like puppets. It's like....I don't usually understand what people say and do, but I can use sex to make men do things and it all makes sense. Men will do literally anything to get laid. With that carrot dangling in front of them I can make them dance and then the world makes sense and I feel really really good. If I could use any other weapon I would. But sex is the one that works best.

I hold H up above all of that. I have no reason to intentionally hurt him and nothing that does hurt him makes me feel good. I wouldn't be here writing all of this if I was feeling good about H. I know he is hurting. I don't want him to be hurt. Other than this one issue, he and I are a very good match. I don't want him in pain, even though it's a pain I can't comprehend or rationalize.
Then why get married and exchange vows and make all these meaningless promises of loyalty and commitment?

No one has an issue with the part about you going around blowing and screwing all the guys you want and manipulating them using sex as some sort of tool. Well, at least I don't have a problem with it.

The problem is that you've got a husband at home who has committed to you for life, who doesn't want to be with anyone else, who you are deceiving and you ARE causing great pain whether you understand it or not.
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post #30 of 213 (permalink) Old 11-15-2016, 05:02 PM
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Re: Catharsis of Confession

The posters that are getting angry or upset don't understand that they are probably dealing with a true sociopath who has a complete lack of empathy towards others.

It doesn't make me angry to read her words.

I find it fascinating and while I do try to point out the error of her ways I recognize the futility in attempting to do so.

It's like trying to explain color to a blind man.

She is here looking for help because she WANTS to understand what's wrong, but she is incapable of doing so.
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