12-05-2011, 03:25 PM
Join Date: Aug 2010
| | Re: How do you deal with toxic friends?
What I have learned about my W past toxic friends, is there is not a damn thing you can do about who your W chooses for friends.
The compition is to tough so it all boils down to what your W wants. The marriage or the friendship. See you can't control your W but you can control how you want a marriage.
To avaoid being labeled controling I gave my WW the choice to stay married to me or be with her so called friends. The thing is she wanted both, and I don't. I wanted to be her first choice as a friend, her best friend and not just her lover and provider. Hell I can always find a women that *wants* to meet my needs.
Again she can do what she wants but I will be with a women that wants to be with me 1st. Why wait around in a marriage? Waiting for it to deteriorate while a TF drains the healthy dynamics of a relationship between you and your spouse.
I would rather cut my loses sooner then later. Letting my wife go to live an unhealthy life style that would for sure make her self destruct would be tough but sticking around and witnessing this self distruction would be worse only to let her go later then sooner.
Bottom line, its her choice, just like its your choice to stick around and tolorate it, or find someone that will bring out the best in you.